bell hooks feminist auto-responder for creepy guys

If a creepy dude is insistently demanding your phone number and you want to get rid of him with style, why not give him feminist phone intervention number (+l-669-221-6251). If you call or text that number, you'll get a canned response taken from the work of writer/activist bell hooks, such as "If any female feels she need anything beyond herself to legitimate and validate her existence, she is already giving away her power to be self-defining, her agency." The hotline also seeks your donations to cover its operational expenses. (via The Hairpin)

(Image: bell hooks, Cmon Girl, Public Domain, Wikimedia Commons)

Notable Replies

  1. When I was in high school in the 80s, we memorized and gave out a dial-a-prayer number to guys.

  2. CLamb says:

    Really creepy guys don't bother reading news sites.

  3. Kimmo says:

    Is grammar a relic of the patriarchal hegemony or something?

  4. Recently I told some guy, "FUCK OFF, go away" when he wouldn't leave me alone, and he sat down anyway.

    One time some guy threw me up against the wall and choked me when I said no. I REALLY wish I could have missed that opportunity.

    Dude, it's really not up to women to make sure guys behave and don't act like jerks -- or worse. Really, it's not. Fuck opportunity. I just want to feel safe and comfortable and not be bothered or feel stressed out FOR MERELY EXISTING, and no, I don't think it's up to me to make sure a grown adult man acts right.

    "Isn't that another step in the dance."

    Some of those dances turn deadly. And why the hell should I feel obligated to "dance" for MERELY EXISTING?

    Just because I'm out in public, it doesn't mean I'm consenting toward some fucked up mating "dance". I'm just trying to live my life.

    You're under the assumption that every interaction with men asking for numbers is desired or appropriate. And, no, merely drinking at a bar doesn't mean I've conented to whatever vague "dance" you've come up with in your head.

  5. I've had wonderful experiences with men as well, but this isn't about those experiences. But as a woman who actually likes going out into the world, sometimes I'm faced with uncomfortable situations. Usually I can tell when a guy is going to be polite, or if he's going to be a creep, but I have pretty good instincts.

    I had given my real number out before, on a whim, based on my instincts -- the only time that didn't work out was when about 3 days later his wife called me, screaming, but for the most part, I'm pretty good at knowing when a guy is a creepy or not (not always, but usually). I stopped that once I was physically assaulted, though. It's just not worth the guess.

    You seem to think that every interaction with men in public is wanted, desired, and safe.

    I don't really care if it seems cruel. It's not up to me to police the feelings of men, either.

    But hey, you seem to be ignoring the fact that one time I did say no, politely, HE GRABBED ME BY THE THROAT AND THREW ME AGAINST THE WALL. Why do you ignore that? Heaven forbid i'm now a little wary of being polite to *complete strangers **whom I owe absolutely nothing***.

    Seriously. I don't owe ANYTHING to strangers, even politeness, not when they are invading my personal space and making assumptions about me (I didn't come up to them! They came up to me!). My safety and sense of comfort are far more important.

    And you know what? Can strange men PLEASE stop walking up to strange women and asking for their number with no other conversation or indication that she's interested? Just because I happen to exist, does not mean that I consent to random men asking for my number, and it certainly doesn't mean I OWE them anything.

    That's what you're saying: I OWE them the benefit of the doubt.

    Well, yeah, one time I did that and it got me ASSAULTED.

    So yeah, I've stopped giving my number out, and politely saying no, ever since I was physically assaulted for saying no. I'm over 30, now, I just don't GIVE A FUCK if I'm cruel to these guys or if I come off as cold. I don't owe them anything. I certainly don't owe them an education on how to interact with women. That's NOT my job all because I happen to exist!

    I'm seriously tired of women being told to be "nicer" and "more polite" even after we've been literally assaulted.

    I'm tired of being "nice" and I'm tired of being "polite" and I"m tired of being expected to literally teach men how to interact with me in a respectful manner.

    It's. Not. My. Fucking. Job. And I don't owe them shit.

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