Computer game names "almost universally terrible"

"Assassin Heroes Warhammer: Craft World War" might be an extreme example of a grossly trope-strewn game name, but the business has plenty more like it to offer.

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  1. Do you really want to be taking advice on names from a "Dr. Farts"?

  2. Indeed you do. According to the article, his middle name is "Eaton."

  3. In all fairness "Assassin Heroes Warhammer: Craft World War" is pretty clearly an effort to hack a crummy third party game into search results when a person looks for reputable games.

    Really it's quite the feat of labeling shenanigans. They successfully managed to jam aspects of all of these titles into the title of their crappy game:

    -Assassin's Creed
    -Heroes of Newerth
    -Warhammer
    -Starcraft / Warcraft / Minecraft
    -World of Warfcraft

    I think they could have fit more in. Maybe: "Assassin's Craft: A Heroes Call of Duty Modern Warhammer: "

  4. I believe this was the highest grossing second part of a sixth sequel of all time.

  5. You do realize this title is a real game, and not satire?

    [UPDATE: oh man scoopeded, above. That's what I get for starting a post then going to a meeting. A POX ON ALL MEETINGS]

    [UPDATE2: oh man I'm replying to @Boundegar by using a modified version of his own words, for the 2nd time in two days (< 24 hours). He is SO gonna kill me.]

     

    What's New in Version 1.2

    Performance Enhancement and Updated Internal Code Structure

     

     

    The company also provides such fine entertainment products as

    • A Plague Monster: Penguin Monsters Attack
    • Aeroplane Flying: Flight Test & Parking Simulator HD, Free Game
    • Alien Invasion: Lost In Space HD, Free Game
    • Alien Spaceship: Planet Flying HD, Free Game
    • Ants Valley: Ultimate Ant
    • Awesome Surfing Dudes: Big Wave Extreme Surfboard Sports HD, Free
    • GameCop Vs Hitman: Wayward Souls Cops
    • Cops City: Night Time Crime HD, Free Game
    • Cute Tooth Fairy: Mount Of Fairies
    • Dirt Bike: Mountain Bicycle Rally
    • Dragons Soccer Goalie: Goalkeeper Save HD, Free Game
    • Dream Soccer Football: Real Fun Super League 14 HD, Free Game
    • Eat The Balls: Ghost Land
    • Fire Archer: Sharp Heads Archery
    • Flappy Match Gems 2014: A Game About Connecting Between Dots
    • Full Racing Cars: Smash Car, Full Game
    • Ganster Knuckles Hit: Boom Earthquake
    • Golf Mini World A Flick Tour: Driving Range Woods HD, Free App Game
    • Granny Box-Stacker: The Puzzle HD, Free Game
    • Gun Cars: Thunder Wars HD, Free Game
    • In The Jungle Groove: Survival Place, Full Game
    • Jump Up Stickman: Stikman Trials
    • Lightsaber Smash Hood: Cyan Minecraft Simulator
    • Princess Boom Pet Kittens: Heads Up Pets Free Fall
    • Princess Escape: Fashion Kingdom HD, Free Game
    • Princess Heads Calling Up Resort: Little Kids Fashion Mila Salon Boom
    • Swamp Offroad Truck: Hitman Monster Frontier
    • Tactics Of Tanks Control: Tank Vehicle, Full Game
    • The Great Plumber: Repair Price
    • Tower Smash: Magic Touch HD, Free Game
    • Unpossible Car Parking: Cars Bombing Race
    • Unpossible Dog Attack: Go Up

    Believe it or not, this is an EDITED list....

    So many of these are boringly prosaic (Dirt Bike: Mountain Bicycle Rally), some are SEO word-stacks (Dream Soccer Football: Real Fun Super League 14 HD, Free Game), and some are bizarro evocative:

     - A Plague Monster: Penguin Monsters Attack
     - Eat The Balls: Ghost Land
     - Lightsaber Smash Hood: Cyan Minecraft Simulator
     - Swamp Offroad Truck: Hitman Monster Frontier
     - The Great Plumber: Repair Price
     - Unpossible Dog Attack: Go Up

    Myself, I'm looking forward to Lightsaber Smash Hood: Cyan Minecraft Simulator vs Swamp Offroad Truck: Hitman Monster Frontier - Magic Combat Fashion Boom Game Free Fall 2

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