Nudists are terrorists

A beach popular with naturists in Penticton, B.C., is a hotbed of terrorism, according to the complaints of local pearl-clutchers. Jennifer Saltman of The Province reports the local fear of the sight of glistening, naked, human skin.

“We feel if we don’t do something about it now it’s only going to get worse,” said one Three Mile Beach neighbour, who did not wish to be named.

The petition was crafted by a small group of neighbours and began circulating this week. It calls for “immediate action” and a sign that reads “No nudity allowed on 3 Mile Beach.”

The neighbour said everyone living on Three Mile Road signed the petition, except for one man who is a nudist.

“It’s a really huge concern in the community,” the neighbour said. “Families and the public are no longer able to enjoy the place because there’s a bunch of people sitting there with their pants off.”


Dennis Roszell, who currently lives in Alberta but owns a home across from the beach, claimed the nudists are deliberately intimidating the public with their actions.

“The nudists have actually perpetuated their blatant crimes to a point of terrorist activity and should be convicted of terrorism,” he said in an emai

Notable Replies

  1. "“We feel if we don’t do something about it now it’s only going to get worse”

    Worse. . . how? A person can only get so naked.

  2. If those new TSA scanners have taught us anything, it's that countless would-be terrorists have attempted to smuggle nude bodies onto airplanes under their clothing.

  3. I didn't see any reference to setting up a separate nude beach. Three Mile Beach is pretty much the furthest beach from the center of town - there really is nowhere much else to set up a nude beach.

    If the article is to be believed, this is hardly news to the people living there, as it's been the nude beach in Penticton for decades - they chose to buy property near a nude beach, and are now freaking out about it. To some extent, that puts them in a similar situation to people who buy acreages in the country and are then upset that the farm animals that were there before them have smelly poop.

  4. Terrorists or not, they have nothing to hide!

  5. Umm.... you forgot to mention the time and place.

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