Nudists are terrorists

A beach popular with naturists in Penticton, B.C., is a hotbed of terrorism, according to the complaints of local pearl-clutchers. Jennifer Saltman of The Province reports the local fear of the sight of glistening, naked, human skin.

“We feel if we don’t do something about it now it’s only going to get worse,” said one Three Mile Beach neighbour, who did not wish to be named.

The petition was crafted by a small group of neighbours and began circulating this week. It calls for “immediate action” and a sign that reads “No nudity allowed on 3 Mile Beach.”

The neighbour said everyone living on Three Mile Road signed the petition, except for one man who is a nudist.

“It’s a really huge concern in the community,” the neighbour said. “Families and the public are no longer able to enjoy the place because there’s a bunch of people sitting there with their pants off.”


Dennis Roszell, who currently lives in Alberta but owns a home across from the beach, claimed the nudists are deliberately intimidating the public with their actions.

“The nudists have actually perpetuated their blatant crimes to a point of terrorist activity and should be convicted of terrorism,” he said in an emai