Scalia insult-generator

Justice Antonin Scalia's intemperate dissenting opinion in the Supreme Court's landmark marriage equality case included some epic old dude grumpery, including the phrases "pure applesauce" and "jiggery-pokery."

Mother Jones gives us a automated Scalia-ism generator that mixes and matches real phrases from the Satan-fearing eminent justice and anti-masturbation warrior and privacy nihilist.

This loaf is as pretentious as its content is egotistic.

This somersault of statutory interpretation is a somersault of statutory interpretation.

Your mom is a somersault of statutory interpretation.

Some ghoul in a late-night horror movie that repeatedly sits up in its grave and shuffles abroad, after being repeatedly killed and buried has mistaken a Kulturkampf for a fit of spite.

Take a Spin on the Antonin Scalia Insult Generator! [Tim Murphy/Mother Jones]

Notable Replies

  1. Pure applesauce! Scalia used "jiggery-pokery" in his dissent against Obamacare. He didn't save all his insults for gay marriage. Please give the Justice some credit! He uses his full-blown curmudgeon attacks on all sorts of outlandish liberal decisions, not just one.

  2. I look back on Romer v. Evans and Lawrence v. Texas and I'm just amazed by how Scalia's material has evolved. Seriously, you look back on his early stuff and it was amusing, but the guy just really hadn't found his voice. Now I'd put him up there with Mort Sahl or even H.L. Mencken.

    What? Are you telling me these things he's writing aren't satire?

  3. The man is an embarrassment. He's more suited to writing Letters to the Editor that newspapers can print when they're looking for something to "balance" the factual letters against.

    I wonder how long it takes his staff to get rid of the parts he writes in ALL CAPS, and to delete most of his exclamation points!!!!11!!

  4. Huh, I would have put money on "jiggery-pokery" being a euphemism for some kind of gay sex act. And if it's not yet then it should be.

    Internet: please please report back when you've come up with something worthy of the moniker.

  5. Hmmph. It doesn't even include my favorite from the latest dissent, "Ask your nearest hippie." That yielded several amusing articles from journalists who hurriedly found the nearest hippie and asked them what they thought of the whole thing. (Unsurprisingly, they were mostly for healthcare and gay marriage.)

Continue the discussion

9 more replies