Candle-powered phone charger

The Stower Candle Charger, in addition to being a basic emergency stove, powers USB gadgets with fire: put a fuel canister under it and it'll transmute heatrons into juicetrons as described in the Codex Ifritanimus. One canister will charge a smartphone twice; actual wax candles will presumably not stretch so far.

When power outages hit, staying connected to family, friends, and emergency services is critical. But how to keep charged? - Batteries store power - they don't make it - We love solar, but it doesn't work at night or indoors - Hand cranks produce minimal power. 10 hours cranking to charge a phone? That's tough. We want a reliable solution, and the Candle Charger is the first indoor generator designed to charge smartphones and keep them charged.

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  1. I'm confused about the end user. Either there's power somewhere for the phone to connect to: cell towers, internet signals, something, where they can get power from somewhere, or there's no power for anyone and having a charged phone isn't going to help out.

    I guess to let the kids watch downloaded movies?

  2. Nah, you use the candle to power your ohone cos it's handy to have the flashlight app working, obviously.

  3. Seems elaborate when a simple handcrank will do:

  4. It's clearly so that you can access this during the coming nuclear apocalypse that will render solar panel chargers useless from all of the ash in the air:

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