On the "fakeness" of nature documentaries

Few are scandalized by the BBC adding sound effects to documentary footage, as it's somewhat obvious and the intent is to bring the viewer to a truth that might otherwise be obscured. A lot of other storytelling magic is at hand, though, not all of it so ostentatious. Simon Cade illustrates some of the techniques, among which editing is among the most powerful. Read the rest

30% keyboard is tiny, adorable, weird, and "very cramped"

Attention mechanical keyboard aficionados! If 40% mechanical keyboards are just too bulky for you, try a 30% one such as the Gherkin, which includes the characters of the alphabet and four arrow keys, which are chorded in various ways to reach capital letters, numbers, function keys and so forth. If 30% mechanical keyboards are just too bulky for you, try a Gherkin with the switches as close together as they will go.

Typing on this is weird. It feels very cramped, it may be different with a different style keycap. I will try a set of cut down DSA keycaps which has more space between the keys. It is much better than the microswitches on the Flanck.

I like the idea of small, just-get-writing mechanical keyboards, but can't get to grips with these minuscule grid-layout ones. Here is the layout I'd like to use, which I call the "Cormac" because you don't get to quote anyone and you sure as hell don't get to ask questions of the place where you stand and see for a brief moment the absolute truth of the cold relentless implacable darkness.

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"Creepy" Sean Hannity invited show guest to hotel room

Sean Hannity, a pomaded wig perched atop a melting styrofoam head perched atop a pile of butter-soaked thrift store polo shirts, stands accused of making a "creepy" advance toward a guest on his show.

During a Friday interview with Tulsa, Oklahoma-based radio host Pat Campbell, former Fox News guest Debbie Schlussel accused Hannity of inviting her to his hotel room before and after a debate with a pro-Palestinian guest in Detroit. Schlussel said she rejected Hannity’s alleged advances and that she was never invited on his show again.

Schlussel and Hannity were scheduled to speak together at the Detroit show, Schlussel said. But before the show, Hannity allegedly invited her to an event at a nearby bookstore. The Daily Beast was not able to confirm whether the pair ever spoke at such a show.

“He had some event at a bookstore where he signed his book for people standing in line. He asked me to come meet him at this book signing,” Schlussel said on Campbell’s show. “So I met him there and it was very awkward. He had me up there with him while he signed books and I felt very weird. These people don’t know me and they didn’t come for me to sign their books. Then I left to get ready for the show, and he said, ‘Why don’t you come back with me to my hotel?’ and I said no, I have to get ready for the show.”

Hannity says she's lying and threatened her with legal action. Read the rest

Sperm extraction machine yours for $13,000

A Chinese company developed a human sperm extraction machine for use in hospitals and other settings where human sperm may be required on the spot, but where conservative social norms or embarrassment make "while they wait" masturbation a difficult proposition.

The Jiangsu Sanwe Medical Science and Technology Center says their device, which has been sold to clinics in the US, Germany, Russia and France, simulates the temperature and feel of the female sexual organ, and is the most user friendly way of collecting samples for sperm donation or for those needing fertility advice. Jim Drury reports.

Reuters reports about 10,000 of the $13,000 devices are sold annually. The SW-3701 sperm collector's official product page reveals technical parameters, among other things.

It can simulate vaginal environment, through massage, twitching, sucking, vibration, etc., act upon the human penis, which can make semen collection fast and safe. So it is the best clinical equipment of sperm collection.

Premature ejaculation desensitization training

The strong currents impact and rub the glans penis repeatedly in order to reduce the excitability of nerve endings so as to passivate external nerve of glans penis, sulcus coronarius, and the surface of the penis, and regulate the sex nerve center in order to minimize nerve sensitivity, improve ejaculatory threshold to treat premature ejaculation.

4) Technical Parameters 1.Massage frequency: 0-1.5Hz 2.Motion frequency: 0-2.5Hz

Packaging Details

wooden or as you request 2 wooden cases

[Thanks, Liam!] Read the rest

"All Star" but the only instrument is disgraced entertainer Bill O'Reilly saying his own name

Celebrate disgraced entertainer Bill O'Reilly's professional demise with this remix of Smash Mouth's "All Star" made entirely from a single sample of disgraced entertainer Bill O'Reilly saying his own name. Maybe one day he'll do it live! Read the rest

Good cop delivers instant justice to driver tailgating a cyclist

If you hate videos depicting karmic road revenge where both parties are at fault, you may enjoy watching this one of a tailgater receiving instant justice. A cyclist realizes he's being menaced by a tailgater only when a Skokie PD cop car pulls in, then pulls them both over. He says "I want you to know that I care" to the cyclist, and busts the driver. Read the rest

Man builds "BlowJob Robot"

Today in Poe's law comes an advertisement for "Arlan Robotics Service Droid 1.0" (NSFW), which is basically a nightmarish silicone parody of a woman's head mounted on a machine that lurches back and forth like a Victorian automaton bobbing for apples. I thought it was a parody, but technical features are demonstrated ("stop with a single hand", "suction on demand") that indicate otherwise. Read the rest

DoggoLingo explained

In An Internet Language Built Around Love For The Puppers, Jessica Boddy traces the emergence of dog-flavored memetalk on the Internet.

Some dogs are doggos, some are puppers, and others may even be pupperinos. There are corgos and clouds, fluffers and floofs, woofers and boofers. The chunky ones are thicc, and the thin ones are long bois. When they stick out their tongues, they're doing a mlem, a blep, a blop. They bork. They boof. Once in a while they do each other a frighten. And whether they're 10/10 or 12/10, they're all h*ckin' good boys and girls. Are you picking up what I'm putting down? If not, you're probably not fluent in DoggoLingo, a language trend that's been gaining steam on the Internet in the past few years

It's like the cats thing, but we do the talking instead of them. The key vectors seems to be Dogspotting, the biggest Facebook group for dog lovers, and Dog Rates on Twitter. I wondered a while back if DoggoLingo—and the sudden victory of heartwarming dogs over unpredictable cats in general—has something to do with Trump. As Boddy quotes one professor of Doggo studies: "How can the world be evil when dogs exist?"

Honestly, I could watch Careless Bork all day.

Previously: A guide to doggo names Read the rest

Already regretting assigning the Chelsea Clinton story to Frank Herbert

Previously: Already regretting assigning the new MacBook Pro review to Borges Read the rest

Britain has first day without coal power generation since industrial revolution

Britain went a full day without using coal to generate power, reports the BBC. It's the first 24-hour period of inactivity there since 1882, when the world's first public coal-fired power plant was stoked at Holborn Viaduct in London.

But Ms O'Hara says that while the country makes the transition to a low carbon system, coal remains an important source of energy. According to Gridwatch.co.uk, around half of British energy on Friday came from natural gas, with about a quarter coming from nuclear plants. Wind, biomass, and imported energy were also used.

As in the U.S., coal power's been squeezed out by natural gas, a cleaner fossil fuel, though the trend is now toward renewable sources. Britain will close its coal-fired power plants down for good in 2025, supposedly. Read the rest

Donald Trump says his own 100-day plans are "ridiculous standards" to be held to

Donald Trump, having failed to accomplish much from the 100-day plan laid out in the "contract with the American voter" still live on his website, now says that he is being held to "ridiculous standards".

Analyzing the accomplishments of a United States president after their first 100 days in office is a decades-old tradition and, of course, a relatively arbitrary one established by the news media to assess a leader’s direction and influence. However, to dismiss its importance after using it as a marketing tool for his policy agenda will surely only serve to shirk those who bought into it.

Aside from providing clear evidence of Trump’s flip-flop on the 100-day benchmark, the contract also provides a clear way to compare Trump as president-elect and president of the United States.

Trump has been unable to hold to many of the promises presented in the two-page document, achieving only 10 of the 28 action pledges.

No-one expected him to get anywhere near them, obviously, but "simulation collapse" is the dish of the day.

Read the rest

Some idiot left a coastal wall right in front of a ferry

In Las Palmas de Gran Canaria in the Canary Islands, some total moron designed, financed and constructed a large coastal wall right where a ferry was headed.

Videos and photos of the accident appeared quite serious, although no injuries have been reported.

The ship involved was the Volcan de Tamasite and, according to information received by The Canary, 140 passengers were on board at the time, though nobody seems to have been seriously hurt, some reports have mentioned up to four people with minor injuries.

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Internet Archive to ignore robots.txt directives

Robots (or spiders, or crawlers) are little computer programs that search engines use to scan and index websites. Robots.txt is a little file placed on webservers to tell search engines what they should and shouldn't index. The Internet Archive isn't a search engine, but has historically obeyed exclusion requests from robots.txt files. But it's changing its mind, because robots.txt is almost always crafted with search engines in mind and rarely reflects the intentions of domain owners when it comes to archiving.

Over time we have observed that the robots.txt files that are geared toward search engine crawlers do not necessarily serve our archival purposes. Internet Archive’s goal is to create complete “snapshots” of web pages, including the duplicate content and the large versions of files. We have also seen an upsurge of the use of robots.txt files to remove entire domains from search engines when they transition from a live web site into a parked domain, which has historically also removed the entire domain from view in the Wayback Machine. In other words, a site goes out of business and then the parked domain is “blocked” from search engines and no one can look at the history of that site in the Wayback Machine anymore. We receive inquiries and complaints on these “disappeared” sites almost daily.

A few months ago we stopped referring to robots.txt files on U.S. government and military web sites for both crawling and displaying web pages (though we respond to removal requests sent to info@archive.org). As we have moved towards broader access it has not caused problems, which we take as a good sign.

Read the rest

Pupper vs Bananner

Gruesome stuff, don't watch if you're under 18. Read the rest

Liartown: forthcoming book from master image manipulator Sean Tejaratchi

Sean Tejaratchi is the absolute master of photoshopped cultural effluvia, God of an alternative world where the classic trash you remember warps into a mythopoeia of weird, hilarious insanity. And now much of it is to be collected in an 8.5″ x 11″ 248-page color book, Liartown, the first four years.

The book contains almost all LiarTown material from early 2013 to January 2017. It includes an introduction by me, Sean Tejaratchi, a foreword by former Onion editor Scott Dikkers, a section with notes on selected pieces, and an exhaustive index. The back cover will feature brief explanatory text (written especially for the back cover and not previously read by the public), as well as a laudatory comments from cultural notables, a barcode, and cover price. Every inch of this lavishly designed book has been designed to perfection. Even the spine, normally known only as the narrow, bound left edge of a volume, will be emblazoned with the title, subtitle, author, and publisher logo.

Speaking of the publisher, beloved Feral House Books has honored my desire to keep all the bad words and bird dicks and lunchbox tits and other improprieties. I was not asked to change a single thing.

It'll ship in late fall; preorder it now. [Amazon link]

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TSA confirms miniature magic warhammers not OK on planes

"Can I bring my rechargable power bank the shape of the greatest orc warriors Orgrim's Doomhammer on a plane?" asks Itaku on Twitter.

"We're glad you asked," replies AskTSA, an official account of the Transportation Security Administration. "Replica weapons, even those belonging to Horde Chieftains, must be packed in checked bags."

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Vacuum cleaner frightened of gaps

Posted in Russian that machine-translates to "My vacuum cleaner is afraid slots," Fluff Zabrat's video is a startling reminder of the terrifying chasms and voids we must all leap on our journey to immanence. Read the rest

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