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Unfortunately there's been a little problem with the experiment. And it's not as obvious as you might think.

In an effort to improve the quality of the humans, the aliens first made an attempt to improve the quality of the cows. The theory was that Darwinian natural selection, and centuries of breeding had already made considerable progress, and could be accelerated slightly. It was believed that to improve the cows and then take their DNA would be faster than taking their DNA, infusing it with humans, and then attempting to tweak the humans. That's why the aliens at first dissected cows, but then started something more devious.

There are two documented cases of cows having been abducted and then reintroduced. Certainly there were other cases, but these two were actually noted and can be found in the both the Iowa Daily Ledger, and the Brighton News. Both cases happened approximately twenty years ago, and their abduction and return was never fully explained, but the FBI has a restricted file indicating that these were part of a serial of cases wherein cows were actually kidnapped, taken apart--and then reassembed with superior DNA strains.

However, what has become apparent in the last few months is that the DNA experiment had a glich--mad cow disease. The Brighton abduction seems to be the bovine equivalent of patient O, and from this genetically altered cow has come the dreaded disease which seems to threaten all of England. But consider:

1. Almost twenty years has passed before a serious outbreak during which time the disease has spread to many, many cows (all carrying the new DNA).

2. In addition to Brighton, there was an abduction in IOWA!

3. The same thing is happening to humans. The human disease is not being caused by eating tainted meat. It's being caused by defective alien DNA that's been introduced to the human race at approximately the same time it was introduced to the cattle. The timing is almost exact to the month. Seven years after the first case in the cows came the first case in humans, in the same areas, and growing in the same geometric progression. But scientists cannot explain how the disease has spread from cows to the humans. All the humans who have contracted the disease were vegetarians, and the medical community is at a complete loss.

It appears that actually, we're being used more as a petri dish than an actual survival tool for the grays. The aliens have to develop and perfect their DNA before transplanting parts of us into themselves and they've chosen our planet as a work table saving some other, more attractive planets, for the actual transplantings.

The ultimate question is: now that the aliens have determined that this experiment is a failure, will they abandon us to die-out from the mad cow disease, or will they exterminate us in a more expedient fashion lest the disease take too long to wipe us out, and we find some way of contaminating other parts of the universe. Only time will tell.

-- Jeffrey Schulte

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