The heartwarming story behind the internet's premier testicle clickbait site

K. Thor Jenson, one of the enduring lights of web culture, spent two years writing clickbait about balls for a good cause: testicular cancer research.

I signed on with the foundation in early 2015. Together, we developed a business plan for the site. We quickly realized that a 100% testicle-focused site would run out of material pretty quickly, so we started brainstorming what would be under the umbrella. Testicular stories, sure, but also stories of “ballsy” behavior. Sports, as long as the ball was the focus of the piece. Ball pits. Energy balls. Balls of snakes. You get the idea.

Since 2015, The Ball Report has published 1,073 posts, many astoundingly successful, and with serious journalistic work amid all the bollocks: "When a viral story about a gang member dying after spray-painting his testicles gold started to spread, I was one of the first to debunk it. I wrote a dense history of the practice of “teabagging” in video games."

[Cheers, John!] Read the rest

Duffy the rough collie can't catch balls

Maximum points awarded for the best possible use of the vincerò from Turandot's Nessun Dorma. Read the rest

Adults taking home run balls from the children they're headed for

"This is why aliens will never want to be friends with us," says a loud NSFW Australian. [via] Read the rest

Mysterious snowballs appear on Siberian beach

The Gulf of Ob is a remote Siberian reach of the Russian empire, and its beaches are covered in gigantic snowballs up to a meter across. The BBC reports that they're the result of a "rare environmental process where small pieces of ice form, are rolled by wind and water, and end up as giant snowballs." (Photo: SERGEI BYCHENKOV) Read the rest

Dog can't get to tennis ball

Someone, please throw George a ball. [Video Link via Arbroath] Read the rest

Which is more painful? Childbirth vs. Getting kicked in the nuts

One thing we can agree on: They both hurt an awful lot.

Ow! My Balls!: The scientific survey

Between 2002 and 2010, 142,144 adults went to the emergency room with "genitourinary" injuries. Sporting equipment (bikes, bats, various balls) were the products most likely to be involved in such an injury, appearing in 30% of all cases. This is probably not a surprise to anyone who has watched "America's Funniest Home Videos". What is a little surprising: Men only accounted for 69% of the injuries. Ow. My ovaries. (Via Ivan Oransky) Read the rest