A list of the most deadly calorie bombs for sale at America's chain restaurants

Dave and Buster's will sell you a 1,970 calorie appetizer (the "Carnivore Pizzadilla"); Texas Roadhouse adds marshmallows and caramel sauce to the sweet potato in its "16-oz. Prime Rib with Loaded Sweet Potato" to bring a single meal up to 2,820 calories, and The Cheesecake Factory's "Flying Gorilla" cocktail crams 950 calories into a single beverage, making it calorically equal to a Big Mac and fries. Read the rest

Can gluten-free bread transubstantiate?

Writing in his official capacity, Archbishop Secretary Arthur Roche has published a letter detailing the Vatican's position on gluten-free Eucharist. Read the rest

Lollipops that look like "creature eyeballs"

Vintage Confections' $19 Creature Eyeball lollipop assortments come in an assortment of six flavors ("Blackberry, Marshmallow, Cotton candy, Green apple, Strawberry, Guava") and an assortment of creepy eyeball designs. (via Crazy Abalone) Read the rest

Trollcakes: sleuthing bakers will hunt down your trolls, inscribe their hate in icing, and deliver edible words

Ever wish the anonymous jerks who comments on your online life would be made to eat their words? Wish no more, Trollcakes is here. Read the rest

Popeyes coats fried chicken in cookie-crumbs, serves with jam

Popeyes is now serving a limited-time "Sweet and Tender" chicken dish that involves dredging nuggets of chicken slurry in shortbread-cookie dust, then serving it with high-fructose corn syrup jam. Read the rest

Neil Gaiman will read the Cheesecake Factory menu if we raise $500K for the UN High Commission on Refugees

The campaign to raise $500K for the UN High Commission on Refugees started with author/comedian Sara Benincasa daring Neil Gaiman to do a dramatic reading of the Cheesecake Factory menu; Gaiman responded that if she raised the half-mil, he'd not only read the Cheesecake Factory's (notoriously florid) menu, he'd follow up with a reading of Dr Seuss's Fox in Socks if the funds hit $1m (I hasten to point out that this activity involves some risk to Gaiman, given the Seuss estate's penchant for bullying acts of copyfraud). Read the rest

Juice is basically sugar-water

Fruit is good for you; fruit-juice is mostly sugar and water, and what's more, getting your calories from liquids does not invoke your satiety response meaning that you stay hungry even after consuming crazy amounts of calories. Read the rest

The Sandwich Alignment Chart (cue John Hodgman's exploding head!)

@matttomic's Sandwich Alignment Chart isn't just an amusing and thought-provoking taxonomy of sandwiches (though it certainly is that!). Read the rest

Doritos sold a bag of chips with a semidisposable MP3 player

The Doritos' Guardians of the Galaxy 2 chips sold with a MP3 player containing the movie's full soundtrack, a pair of retro headphones of the sort that airlines used to hand out for free, even in coach, and a USB charging cable. Read the rest

Superblack soft-serve ice-cream

The Little Damage ice-cream shop near downtown LA has unveiled a new, superblack soft-serve flavor called "Almond Charcoal" whose coloring comes from activated charcoal. Read the rest

Bake: a Piescraper that towers over the dessert-table

Pie-hacking baker Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin (AKA @thePieous) writes, "I've been experimenting with pushing the boundaries of pie design for just over a year now, but my big white whale - how to make pies 'tall' - had always eluded me... until today. Meet my new invention: Piescrapers! What is a Piescraper? Essentially a pie that is built 'up' using a series of engineering and baking tricks to enhance structural integrity and make tall pies stable, and delicious!" Read the rest

Normal people eat chocolate bunnies ears-first

58% of 28,113 people surveyed eat ears first: "33% indicated that they had no starting point preference, and 4% indicated that they started with the tail or feet." (via Marginal Revolution) (Image: Card Karma, CC-BY) Read the rest

Vacuum chamber vs giant gummi-marshmallow

Youtube has democratized the practice of using expensive industrial and scientific apparatus to torment inanimate objects, giving us all a peek into the world of the lucky few who happen to have a hydraulic press gathering dust; but if you thing compressing things is fun, wait until you've seen recreational decompression in action; as with this giant gummi-bear-shaped marshmallow, being subjected to hard vac in the name of science-adjacent fun. (via Neatorama) Read the rest

As usual, Vi Hart's annual Pi Day video is the best way to ring in 3/14

Vi Hart (previously) is the fast-talking, doodling, hyper-charming mathematical vlogger whose Pi Day videos are consistently the best of the season, even when she's pooping on Pi, she always manages to fascinate and delight. Read the rest

Pie-Modding 101: turning store-bought desserts into amazing nerd-chow

For nearly a year, Jessica Leigh Clark-Bojin (aka @ThePieous) has delighted us with her nerdy, fannish pies and other baked goods, and now she's announced an ebook on "pie-modding" ("modifying pre-made desserts to create epic, edible works of art"): Pie Modding: Pies Are Awesome Vol 1, which you can pre-order for $2.97. Read the rest

Bake: a "She Persisted" energy bar to bring to the protests

Ironman champion Lentine Alexis has developed a recipe for a She Persisted energy bar: pumpkin seeds, shredded coconut, black sesame seeds, sunflower seeds, chia seeds, bee pollen, dates, coconut oil, cacao powder, vanilla extract, poppy seeds and rolled oats. Bake, bag and eat while you march. Remember: talking with your mouth full isn't cool, but protest chanting is totally OK. Read the rest

Spreadable coffee is coming to Japan

Snow Brand Milk will celebrate its 55th birthday by releasing "spreadable coffee" intended to be eaten on toast; it's a followup to an earlier "Edible coffee" product that appears to be basically coffee pudding. Read the rest

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