Breaking up is hard to do, and in the tabloid world it’s prohibitively expensive too. Prince Charles and Camilla are in the midst of a “$250 million divorce,” claims the ‘Globe’ front page, though the story inside admits: “ . . . she’s telling friends she’s willing to settle for $25 million.” So it’s not a $250 million divorce at all, is it?
Meanwhile, bombastic broadcaster Rush Limbaugh is in the midst of a “$470 million divorce shocker,” claims the ‘National Enquirer,” which suggests - erroneously - that Limbaugh is worth more than Prince Charles. And what would his wife Kathryn settle for?
Not to be left out, Julia Roberts has a “$225 million divorce looming,” asserts the ‘Globe,’ which has been flogging this dead horse for several years. I imagine that Roberts stays with hubby Danny Moder just to spite the tabloids. Or perhaps divorce is simply too expensive?
Sabotaged planes are also on tabloid minds this week. After actress Jennifer Lawrence’s private plane was forced to make an emergency landing recently, the ‘National Enquirer’ asks: “Was it sabotage?” Could her jet have been tampered with “by a shadowy group of revenge-seeking hackers” after she has spoken out vociferously against hackers?
There’s a simple rule in the tabloids: If a headline ends in a question mark, then the answer is always: No. These publications are routinely willing to state with categorical assurance anything that they vaguely suspect could have happened. When the tabloids are dubious enough about their own stories to end the headline with a question mark, you can be sure that even they can’t believe they’re writing this crap. Read the rest