Inside a Florida 'Cookie Monster' doll, 314 grams of cocaine found

A 39 year old man in Key West Florida has been arrested after police found a large amount of cocaine hidden in a 'Cookie Monster' doll in his vehicle.

More like Coke-y Monster.

From the Monroe County Sheriff's office:

Just after midnight, Deputy Orey Swilley was parked at 14th Street and highway U.S. One in Marathon when he spotted a black Dodge passenger car drive past with the license plate obscured. The tint on the windows of the car was so dark the deputy could not see who was inside. He pulled the car over at 73rd Street, identifying the driver as Camus McNair.

When McNair rolled down his window, Deputy Swilley could smell the odor of marijuana coming from inside the car. A search of the vehicle turned up a backpack. Inside the backpack was a blue “Cookie Monster” doll. Deputy Swilley noticed the doll seemed to weigh more than it should have. He took a closer look and found a slit cut in the doll. Inside the doll were two packages containing what turned out to be a total of 314 grams of cocaine.

Paperwork found inside the backpack indicated the backpack did belong to McNair. Deputies Seth Hopp and Matthew Cory assisted on the traffic stop.

McNair was arrested and charged with trafficking in cocaine.

(via) Read the rest

White Florida cops appear to racially profile driver, then learn she's state attorney Aramis Ayala

In a now viral video clip from a police bodycam, Aramis Ayala, Florida's first African-American elected state attorney, is pulled over by Orlando cops for what appears to be no good reason.

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Now any Floridian can ask to have public schools' science and literary curriculum censored

Florida Governor Rick Scott [R] has signed CS/CS/HB 989: Instructional Materials, sponsored by Rep Byron Donalds [R-Naples, @ByronDonalds, (239) 417-6270], and that means that anyone in Florida, regardless of whether they are the parent of a Florida pupil, can ask for an "unbiased hearing officer" to censor the teaching materials used in Florida classrooms. Read the rest

Florida town plagued by triple-arse graffiti

Authorities in St. Petersburg, Florida, are battling an onslaught of graffiti depicting a three-buttocked arse. NBC affiliate WFLA reports that the design has appeared at least twenty times across the city. It is thought to be the calling card of a single anonymous artist, who police stress is breaking the law.

St. Pete is a city known for its beautiful art and stunning murals. Many people are upset by this new graffiti involving a tush trend. They don’t like the fact that the bold buttocks are suddenly everywhere.

“This is not art. At all,” said one woman. “It’s vandalism.”

“There should be consequences. You can’t just take it upon yourself to do whatever you want to do,” another man said.

We shall speak in hushed tones, over the beachfires where the Suwannee meets the shore, of the great triple-arsed god worshiped by those who once lived in the sunken cities of the Florida sea. Read the rest

Man jailed for 90 days waiting for tests to prove drywall dust in his car wasn't cocaine

When he was pulled over in Oviedo, Fla., professional handyman Karlos Cashe told cops that the white powder in the footwell was just drywall. As a probationer with a drug conviction, however, he got to wait 90 days until they bothered to complete the tests that would prove it.

It was drywall. Read the rest

Disney's Hall of Presidents show reportedly rolled back so Trumpbot won't get a speaking role

For decades, new US presidents were welcomed to Walt Disney World's Hall of Presidents with a robot carved in their honor, and which would deliver a short, recorded speech voiced by the incoming POTUS himself -- but the idea of a talking Trumpbot is so repugnant that the entire show is reportedly being rolled back to an earlier version (nominally to shorten it), eliminating the speaking roles of everyone except Lincolnbot and Washingtonbot. Read the rest

Florida Senator calls black lawmaker a bitch, calls colleagues his "niggas"

Simultaneously racist and cringe-inducing today is the aging Republiclone lawmaker, Florida State Sen. Frank Artiles, calling a black colleague a "fucking asshole," "bitch," and "girl," and declaring that he had risen to his powerful role thanks to "six niggas" in the caucus.

He didn't pronounce "niggas" the way he might in order to be clear in his meaning, obviously, and had to explain exactly which kind of racist he was later: the ironically-appropriating kind, not the white-hoods-and-nooses kind. But now that's cleared up, everything's all good.

By Tuesday night, the Florida Democratic Party had called on Artiles to resign. Negron, after initially saying little on the incident, said in a statement late Tuesday he was “appalled” by Artiles’ comments — and that Artiles will publicly apologize to Gibson on the Senate floor Wednesday.

“Racial slurs and profane, sexist insults have no place in conversation between Senators and will not be tolerated while I am serving as Senate President,” Negron said.

The Black Caucus has scheduled an emergency Wednesday meeting.

To Gibson and Thurston, it was clear Artiles wasn’t referring to them or to any other Democrats as “niggas” but apparently to six Republicans who favored Negron for the job over Sen. Jack Latvala of Clearwater.

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Russia's richest invested about $100 million in Trump Florida properties

Who are the wealthy Russian citizens who've invested a total of almost $100 million worth of properties owned by U.S. President Donald J. Trump? An investigative report by Reuters digs into that question.

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Waste away at Jimmy Buffet's new retirement community

Aging Jimmy Buffett fans, aka Parrotheads, take note! Latitude Margaritavile is a new senior housing community under construction in Daytona Beach, Florida. The facility is scheduled to open in the fall and promises to "reflect Margaritaville’s authentic, 'no worries,' tropical vibe." Sounds lovely. I can just imagine my life there, nibblin' on sponge cake, watchin' the sun bake.

"A Margaritaville-Themed Retirement Community is Coming to Florida" (Mental Floss) Read the rest

Disney wants to build an "aerial tramway" between the Disney World parks

Disney's "skybuckets" are fondly remembered as the best place in the themepark to do some sneaky kissin', but they were also a magnet for antisocial behavior, from smoking weed to spitting on people to jumping out of them -- and they proved lethal to park maintenance crews. Read the rest

Florida man shot cat that "looked at him like he owned the place"

Orlando News 6 reports that a Florida man shot a cat that shat in his yard, telling officers it "looked at him like he owned the place". The cat was paralyzed and had to be killed, reports Loren Korn.

"It was just a poor judgment call," the man, who declined to share his name, said of his decision to shoot. He said he didn't know it was someone's pet but admitted to shooting at cats before, never hitting one.

"It was not my intention to hurt that cat. All I wanted to do was get it out in front of my walkway, stop pooping. For the flies and the smell is just horrendous," he said

The man said he has several health issues and is on disability. He hopes to be only punished with a fine instead of a felony, fearing he might lose his income if charged.

"I'll be homeless. Might be a death sentence for accidentally shooting some cat," he said.

Isn't "fantasizing about being the real victim" the center square on Florida Man Bingo? Read the rest

Automated book-culling software drives librarians to create fake patrons to "check out" endangered titles

Two employees at the East Lake County Library created a fictional patron called Chuck Finley -- entering fake driver's license and address details into the library system -- and then used the account to check out 2,361 books over nine months in 2016, in order to trick the system into believing that the books they loved were being circulated to the library's patrons, thus rescuing the books from automated purges of low-popularity titles. Read the rest

Compilation of Florida drivers discovering red lights are not optional

Believe it or not, Florida is only the 14th worst state for accidents, according to The Daily Beast's breakdown of per-capita stats. But its unique combination of aggression, stupidity and good weather (worst-state North Dakota has a pretty good excuse) puts it in a league of its own. Read the rest

Florida appeals says you can be compelled to utter your phone's passphrase

A state appeals-court judge in Florida has broken with the precedent that the courts may not compel suspects to reveal the unlock codes for their devices as this would violate the Fifth Amendment's prohibition against forced self-incrimination. Read the rest

Florida atheists pair public nativity scene with a combustible Trump-themed Distrestivus pole

Every year, the Religious Liberty Project puts Festivus poles on the lawns of public buildings that sport Christian religious holiday symbols; this year, RLP's Chaz Stevens put a "Distrestivus" pole adjacent to a nativity scene on Deerfield Beach, Florida public land. Read the rest

WATCH: Tree topples in hurricane

There's so much Florida goodness in this footage.

Vertical video ✓ Stayed to enjoy the hurricane ✓ Big tree with 6 inch deep root system ✓ Vertical video of big tree with 6 inch deep root system 10ft from your house in Florida, where there are hurricanes ✓ Read the rest

Leaked catalog from UK surveillance arms-dealer full of gadgets sold to US cops

Cobham PLC is a surveillance vendor who sells to some of the world's most egregious human rights abusing governments; in 2014, they provided a catalog of cyberweapons and spy tools to Florida Department of Law Enforcement, from whom it leaked. Read the rest

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