Police issue scary looking pizza tickets to people they catch doing good things

Does it sound like fun to be stopped by police for doing a good deed so they can issue you a scary looking $10 off coupon for shitty pizza? And also be recorded on video? Then head over to Denver and start behaving like a model citizen for your reward.

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Law Enforcement Guide to Satanic Cults: recognizing satanists and bad mullets in the park


The fine folks at Night Flight implore you to "review this 1994 VHS tape hosted by be-sweatered cop/pastor Gordon Coulter, and Eric Pryor, a mulleted former Satanist, current Christian, who provide helpful information about satanism, including how to recognize evidence that may be found at crime scenes by satanists." Read the rest

School pretends boy's leaf is marijuana, suspends him for a year

Do not bring a leaf of any kind to Bedford Middle School or vice principal Wilson will go ballistic on your ass. (Wikimedia)

An 11-year-old boy was caught with a lighter and a leaf in his school backpack. Three separate tests on the leaf have come back negative for marijuana, so the school did the sensible thing and suspended the boy for a year. Read the rest

School calls 9-year-old's Lord of the Rings play a 'terroristic threat'

A 9-year-old boy was suspended from his Texas school for telling a classmate that he could make him disappear with his Tolkien invisibility ring.

“I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence,” the boy's father later wrote in an email. "If he did, I'm sure he'd bring him right back."

School principal Roxanne Greer will not discuss the matter with the media.

The boy was suspended two other times this year:

...for referring to a classmate as black and bringing his favorite book to school: The Big Book of Knowledge.

“He loves that book. They were studying the solar system and he took it to school. He thought his teacher would be impressed,” Steward said.

But the teacher learned the popular children’s encyclopedia had a section on pregnancy, depicting a pregnant woman in an illustration, he explained.

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Student suspended for taking razor from kid who was cutting

"The Bayside Middle School student, Adrionna Harris, said she took a razor blade away from another student because he was using it to cut himself. She threw the blade away and told school officials. Then she was suspended for 10 days, with a recommendation for expulsion." - Hit & Run Read the rest

Motorcyclist pulls drinking mug from bumper of moving car

[Video Link] "My daugh-ter!" (Via Digg) Read the rest

School demands that boy must change his name from Hunter because it violates its weapons policy

In the interest of safety, a preschool is insisting that a deaf boy named Hunter change his name at school so people don't accidentally shoot and kill someone with their finger when they use sign language to say his name.

Hunter Spanjer says his name with a certain special hand gesture, but at just three and a half years old, he may have to change it.

"He's deaf, and his name sign, they say, is a violation of their weapons policy," explained Hunter's father, Brian Spanjer.

Grand Island's "Weapons in Schools" Board Policy 8470 forbids "any instrument...that looks like a weapon," But a three year-old's hands?

Better safe than sorry!

Grand Island Preschooler Asked to Change the Sign for His Name in School (Via The Agitator) Read the rest