Boing Boing » Funny

Daft Punk's "Get Lucky" music video

David Pescovitz — Thu, 23 May 2013 04:15:36 +0000

Somebody leaked the video for Daft Punk's "Get Lucky!" (Thanks, Gabe Adiv!)

Nikola Tesla pitches VCs

David Pescovitz — Wed, 22 May 2013 17:54:28 +0000

Nikola Tesla pitches some Silicon Valley venture capitalists. Perfect. (Thanks, Gabe Adiv!)

Laxative ad promises tiny poop-scrubbing people for your colon

Cory Doctorow — Tue, 21 May 2013 21:55:17 +0000

This 1919 French laxative ad promises that it will set lose a cadre of tiny sewage workers who will personally scour your colon of impacted poop.

Butt Pirates

Poe's The Raven as a studio exec's lament

Cory Doctorow — Wed, 15 May 2013 01:00:30 +0000

Torgo's parody of Edgar Allen Poe's The Raven is a particularly well-done example of the genre, which has many entrants (it's the Harlem Shake of poetry!):

Turning back, I saw them seated; feeling injured and defeated
I approached and wanly greeted them: "Sylvester! Ms. Lenore!
I sincerely hope you're thriving - had I known you were arriving
I'd have sent out for reviving frappuccinos from the store;
Frappuccinos, danish pastries, and spring water from the store -
Next time, why not call before?"
The actor sat there, massive, with his craggy face impassive,
And it seemed that I'd established neither good will nor rapport.
The signs were not propitious; I thought it certainly suspicious
That he came in train with vicious, feared and cynical Lenore -
Still I leaned across the table and began to speak - "Lenore-"
Quoth the agent: "Rambo IV!"

Coming soon: RIMBAUD - FIRST BLOOD (via Making Light)

You cannot light a candle with a taser

Cory Doctorow — Tue, 14 May 2013 03:01:16 +0000

In case you were wondering. (Also: tasers play merry hell with digital video cameras, it seems)

Taser Candle (via JWZ)

Gritty crayon colors

Cory Doctorow — Sat, 11 May 2013 00:00:33 +0000

Rawr & Stuff's alternate crayon colors are pretty much shovel-ready -- you could clean up by selling these on Etsy. I'm very fond of "Moral Ambiguity Gray," myself.

Crayons (via Kadrey)

Bake a Mean Spirited Censorship Pie with the Electronic Frontier Foundation

Cory Doctorow — Fri, 10 May 2013 01:35:26 +0000

EFF is celebrating the new inductees into its Takedown Hall of Shame with a new cooking show! In this episode, EFF staffer Parker Higgins bakes a "Mean Spirited Censorship Pie" -- which is what all have to call the classic Southern dessert formerly known as "Derby Pie," now that Kern's Kitchen in Louisville is threatening to sue anyone who posts a family recipe with that name.

It's sarcastic, carbtastic, and informative -- delicious!

Baking With EFF: (Not) Derby Pie, the Trademarked Treat

Comedy boy-band extols virtues of indie games

Cory Doctorow — Fri, 10 May 2013 00:55:56 +0000

James sez, "The boys of Viva La Dirt League (a New Zealand boy-band parody group specialising in songs about Starcraft!) have just released this funny, awesome, video about the pleasures of buying indie games. I think their work deserves your viewing!"

I concur. This is what boy bands should all be about: cussing, indie game references, and fursuits.

Indie Game Anthem (Thrift Shop) - Viva La Dirt League

Baconcoin tees -- limited time only!

Cory Doctorow — Thu, 09 May 2013 22:53:07 +0000

Bitcoins? Pah. Warren Ellis and Diesel Sweeties have teamed up to offer a limited edition Baconcoin tee -- available until May 14 -- that finally proposes a currency based on fat, nitrites, and salt, as nature intended.

Baconcoin Shirt from Warren Ellis

Deer steals wife

Rob Beschizza — Thu, 09 May 2013 12:49:50 +0000

Via Graham Linehan, "a #unicornchaser from yesternet." Previously: Do not mess with baby deer.

VR helmet Guillotine simulator

Cory Doctorow — Tue, 07 May 2013 13:42:16 +0000

Disunion is a guillotine simulator that uses the Oculus Rift VR headset to bring you a realistic experience of being beheaded (this experience is enhanced by a strategic neck-chop!). It was created in two days at the Exile game jam by Erkki Trummal, André Berlemont and Morten Brunbjerg, who clearly enjoy making people feel like they're had their heads lopped off just a little too much.

Disunion

White Men Wearing Google Glass

David Pescovitz — Wed, 01 May 2013 21:24:35 +0000

A funny Tumblr: "White Men Wearing Google Glass" (Bonus points for including Bruce Sterling.) (via Jason Tester)

Wonderful reading of awful sorority letter sent by horrible sorority sister

Cory Doctorow — Wed, 24 Apr 2013 00:14:14 +0000

If you haven't heard about the insane letter sent around to a sorority by its concerned and thoroughly awful social chairwoman, you're probably doing something right. Nevertheless, there is a gem of good in every wickedness, as Funny or Die demonstrates with this dramatic reading of the letter in question [NSFW]

Musical comment on TSA pornoscanners

Cory Doctorow — Tue, 23 Apr 2013 15:03:08 +0000

Jonathan Mann sez, "I saw Cory's post about the TSA accepting comments on the full body scanners and decided I'd give them a piece of my mind - in song."

My Comment To The TSA (Song A Day #1573) (Thanks, Jonathan!)

Dear Abby: ice chewing and marital strife

David Pescovitz — Mon, 22 Apr 2013 03:19:07 +0000

From today's Dear Abby:

DEAR ABBY: My husband has ice water with every meal. During breakfast and dinner he loudly crunches all of the ice in his glass throughout the meal.
I have asked him not to do it at the dinner table, but he thinks I'm being unreasonable. At breakfast, I usually eat in another room and wear noise reduction headphones.

Read the rest (via Under The Weather)

Harrison Ford doesn't answer Star Wars questions on Kimmel

Cory Doctorow — Sat, 20 Apr 2013 02:40:50 +0000

When Harrison Ford's appearance on Jimmy Kimmel switched to Q&A with the audience, Ford said that no Star Wars questions would be allowed. Whereupon Kimmel began (apparently) to troll Harrison rather hard. While it's clear that Harrison was in on the joke, it's got a pretty great finale.

Harrison Ford Meets an Old Friend and it Doesn’t Go Well on Kimmel

Maslow XXI C.

Cory Doctorow — Fri, 19 Apr 2013 20:58:01 +0000

Take that, Maslow.

Basic Human Needs Pyramid: Fixed [Pic]

TODOCAT: a cat-meme-based to-do-list manager

Cory Doctorow — Thu, 18 Apr 2013 02:43:26 +0000

Soma of the Brooklyn Brainery created TODOCAT, a to-do list manager based on the elegant cat meme. I fucking hate cat memes, but I love to-do lists. I love this cat meme to-do list manager.

TODOCAT (via Waxy)

Prank: Headless driver at the drive-thru

David Pescovitz — Thu, 11 Apr 2013 18:19:17 +0000

Mid-Century Modern housing designs vs children

Cory Doctorow — Sun, 07 Apr 2013 15:18:38 +0000

Projectophile's Clare has a funny post about the hazards presented by beautiful mid-century modern home designs to children. My grandparents had a proper split-level MCM when I was a kid, and it's a wonder we survived. As Clare says, "I love open, flowing space as much as the next modern girl. But I know it would only be a matter of minutes before my kid flings himself off one of these deadly ledges..."

15 Mid-Century Modern Dream Homes that will Kill Your Children (via MeFi)

Bank pays for costumed flashmob to recreate Rembrandt's Nightwatch in a mall

Cory Doctorow — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 21:46:55 +0000

I'm not normally a fan of corporate commercials designed to be "viral media," but one's very clever. The Dutch financial giant (and money launderer for Iran) ING paid to have a group of actors play out a dramatic reenactment of the events depicted in Rembrandt's classic painting The Night Watch, climaxing with a posed, framed tableau that re-created the painting itself. It's awfully fun to watch Rembrandtian cosplayers charge around a Dutch shopping mall while the shoppers stand agog.

Flashmob brengt 'De nachtwacht' tot leven (via Making Light)

FAQ: When will your book be made into a movie?

Cory Doctorow — Fri, 05 Apr 2013 18:35:14 +0000

Warren Ellis answers one of the questions most frequently asked of authors: "When will your book/comic/whatever be turned into a TV show or movie?"

FAQ: I don’t get to decide what gets made into a tv series or film. I cannot, I’m afraid, cause people to give me money for things by magic or force of will. Because, let’s face it, if I could, you’d be part of the slave army building my hundred-mile-high golden revolving statue right now.
I’m glad we got that straightened out.

Thank you, Uncle Warren. As always, you've phrased it perfectly.

FAQ: I Don’t Get To Decide What Gets Made Into A Movie Or TV Show

Trial of the Clone: great choose-your-own-adventure from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal creator

Cory Doctorow — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 13:02:35 +0000

Last summer, Zach Weiner (creator the most excellent Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal webcomic) ran a monumentally successful Kickstarter for a CC-licensed Choose-Your-Own-Adventure title called Trial of the Clone: An Interactive Adventure!.

I've finally gotten around to reading my copy and it's an absolute delight. Not only is it witty and often laugh-aloud funny -- it's also got a novel and well-thought-through game mechanic that introduces an element of tabletop RPG-playing to the system (instead of rolling dice, you flip randomly through the book and get your roll-value from the number at the bottom corner of the page).

The premise is a fun spoof of the Star Wars trilogy. You're an orphaned clone (they decanted you in order to fill a hot market wherein rich people competed to adopt orphans, quickly exhausting the existing pool of orphans and giving rise to the practice of cloning; alas you were decanted just as the market crashed) and you're sent to live with a mystic cult of warriors who train you and enlist you in an intergalactic war. The humor is trenchant, never too on-the-nose, and never gets in the way of what turns out to be rather a good story. As an added bonus, "nearly all the proper names in the book are dirty words in Czech."

Profits from this book are donated to Fight for the Future, one of the activist groups that led the charge that killed SOPA last year.

Trial of the Clone [Amazon]

Trial of the Clone [SMBC]

Unicorn farts: the smell of April Fool's day

Cory Doctorow — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 18:36:50 +0000

Lizzy writes from Austin's magnificent toy emporium Toy Joy:

Here at Toy Joy, April Fools Day smells like Unicorns! Specifically, Unicorn Farts! Not only is April 1 celebrated globally as a holiday of mischief, it also happens to be the best day for harvesting the rarest of poots: Unicorn Farts! Currently offered both in store at Toy Joy and at ToyJoy.com for the low price of $2.95, this enchanted product is sure to bring a smile to your prince or princess.
* 100% Organic Concentrated Unicorn Farts
* Unique Addition to Most Fart Collections!
* Important Ingredient for Magic Spells.
* Handy Household Fragrance.
* Delicious on Salads!
We anticipate a high demand for these rarest of odors, and recommend stocking up on this magical product. Unicorn Farts won't be around forever!
Please feel free to contact the wizarding team at Toy Joy for additional information on this product, or the harvesting process. Send all emails to questions@toyjoy.com.

Why PLAY pie-anna when you can VAMP?

Cory Doctorow — Mon, 01 Apr 2013 02:37:51 +0000

As far back as the 1920s, smart musicians have known that your ability to hit the notes isn't nearly so important as your ability to vamp.

Vamping

Embarrassingly obvious undercover cops take to Twitter looking for house shows

Cory Doctorow — Sat, 30 Mar 2013 19:21:43 +0000

Internet-savvy indie musicians organize "house shows," which are pretty much what they sound like: a fan lets the band use her or his house for a performance, and other fans come by and hear it. The shows aren't legal, but they're pretty fun*.

Boston cops have taken to Twitter, posing as punk kids, trying to get bands to tip off the location of their house shows. As Slate's Luke O'Neil points out, though, they're really bad at it, totally tone-deaf. It's created something of an Internet sport of "spot the undercover," which is almost as much fun as the house parties.

“Too bad you were not here this weekend,” “Joe Sly” wrote. “Patty's day is a mad house I am still pissing green beer. The cops do break balls something wicked here. What's the address for Saturday Night, love DIY concerts.” He might as well have written “Just got an 8 ball of beer and I’m ready to party.”

Is it possible that Joe Sly is a real Boston punk? Sure, though if so he’s the first Boston punk in history to brag about drinking lame St. Patrick’s Day green beer. As one of the many amused music fans who scoffed at the screencap as it was shared around on Tumblr pointed out, “he/she said concerts ... concerts.” Anyone who's ever been to a concert like this knows that it's not called a concert. It’s a show.

The Massachusetts band Do No Harm also tweeted about receiving an email from Joe this month. “whats the 411 for the show saturday?” he asked, apparently using some sort of slang-filter translator from the turn of the century.

Of course, there may be really good undercovers trolling Twitter for house parties that we don't know about because of their perfect ninja stealth. If only disproving a negative was possible!

Boston Punk Zombies Are Watching You! [Slate/Luke O'Neil]

* Though I have some sympathy with neighbors who don't like the late night noise -- when an illegal, unlicensed hotel moved in next door to me and started drilling into my bedroom wall all night, and jackhammering against the wall for 8 hours straight on Christmas, it made me totally bananas.

Zealous preacher bingo card

Cory Doctorow — Fri, 29 Mar 2013 19:10:04 +0000

The Fuck Yeah Atheism blog responded to a campus fire-and-brimstone preacher by creating a Zealous Preacher Bingo card, turning Preacher Tom into fun for the whole school: "I created Zealous Preacher Bingo cards, with a few friends’ suggestions for spaces. We gave out candy to anyone who won."

Zealous Preacher Bingo (via Wil Wheaton)

Dead words that want reviving

Cory Doctorow — Thu, 28 Mar 2013 00:41:35 +0000

Here's Death and Taxes's collection of 18 obsolete words that would be handy (or at least funny) to use today, compiled by Carmel Lobello from a book called The Word Museum and a blog called Obsolete Word of the Day. Some of my favorites:

Snoutfair: A person with a handsome countenance — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Groak: To silently watch someone while they are eating, hoping to be invited to join them – www.ObsoleteWord.Blogspot.com
Spermologer: A picker-up of trivia, of current news, a gossip monger, what we would today call a columnist — “The Word Museum: The Most Remarkable English Words Ever Forgotten” by Jeffrey Kacirk
Jirble: To pour out (a liquid) with an unsteady hand: as, he jirbles out a dram — www.Wordnik.com

18 obsolete words, which never should have gone out of style

Calculating product placement in hip hop songs: CDZA's $56 million musical shopping spree

Xeni Jardin — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 14:41:45 +0000

How do you calculate the value of product placement in hip hop songs? Joe Sabia's CDZA ("Collective Cadenza") project on YouTube attempted to do just that, with a virtual 56 million dollar hip-hop shopping spree.

Their "Methodology for price determination" breakdown follows:

Prices were calculated based on current retail or market value, not resale value. For vehicles, values for the most part were selected from the high end of the Manufacturer's Suggested Retail Price range.
ELECTRONICS
Iyaz - Replay: 80GB Video iPod
Notorious B.I.G. - Juicy: Super Nintendo/Sega Genesis prices were from packaged and unopened items found on eBay
Chamillionaire - Ridin Dirty: We went with the PS1 price, even though Chamillionaire can probably afford a PS2.
HIGH END FASHION
Black Eyed Peas - My Humps: Went with average prices for a lot of these accessories
Macklemore - Thrift Shop: Yes mink fur coats can be this expensive
ACCESSORIES
Bruno Mars - The Lazy Song
Eminem - If I Had...: Nike Air Hat/Pair of Lugz
Nelly - Air Force Ones: We should have gotten white ones, sorry.
LMFAO - I'm in Miami Trick: Vans
Notorious B.I.G. - Mo Money Mo Problems - Rolex
Snoop Dogg - Drop it Like it's Hot: Went with a $9,100 rolex, even though they can be much more expensive. And a lower end bottle of Chandon at $109
BOOZE
LMFAO - I'm in Miami Trick: Red Bull and an affordable Smirnoff even though they would probably drink Grey Groose
Jagged Edge - Where the Party At: A fifth of Bacardi
50 Cent - In Da Club: A pint of Bacardi to sneak into the club
Busta Rhymes - Pass the Courvoisier: A less expensive type and size
Snoop Dogg - Gin and Juice: Seagram's Gin
Ke$ha - TiK ToK: Jack Daniel's
R. Kelly - Ignition Remix part 2: Got this empty bottle of magnum Cristal off of eBay for 25 bucks.
TRANSPORTATION
Sir Mix-a-Lot - I Like Big Butts: Mercedes E Class
Jay-Z - On to the Next One: Lexus and Range Rover
Far East Movement - Like a G6: CDZA doesn't provide items to rent. We only provide items to BUY.
Vanilla Ice - Ice, Ice Baby - Lamborghini

This edition of CDZA's weekly musical experiments features Mark, Todd and Stasia from the Key of Awesome.

Related: CDZA merch, and an MP3 download, neither of which cost $56 million.

Abandoned cake-box at airport turns into inadvertent Portal-themed security worry

Cory Doctorow — Wed, 27 Mar 2013 00:32:38 +0000

An empty cake-shipping box abandoned at the Tampa airport reportedly freaked out passengers and Portal players: "My visit to Tampa has drawn to a close, and The Lady just dropped me off at the airport. Right by the Air Canada entrance, this styrofoam box marked “CAKE” has been unnerving passengers. It’s empty — it probably held cake for transport but was too big to fit into the car that picked it up — but I let some airport staff know that it was beginning to worry some people. Namely, the security-conscious and Portal players."

Unnerving People at the Airport (or: The Cake is a Lie!)