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Living tomato ripeness chart

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Not yet. Not yet. Not yet.

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Dude Wipes: best poop-themed, toilet-based TV ad in history

Um, holy shit.

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Trump Generator lets anyone get insulted by The Donald

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Feeling left out because Donald Trump hasn't insulted you by name on Twitter yet? The Trump Generator lets anyone create a customized insult from the rich lexicon of Donald disses, then they'll post it on social media.

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Seven hours of road-trip lip-synching

White Rhino entertained his sister on a seven-hour road-trip with some damned fine lip-synching to tunes ranging from the Spice Girls to Enya to Daddy Yankee to Keyshia Cole.

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Watch: Venus flytrap takes up smoking

Deal with it.

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Greek statue from 110 BCE of a girl showing her mom a laptop computer

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Or in Italian, "Arte greca, pietra tombale di donna con la sua schiavetta, databile al 100 a.C. circa."

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Watch 'Documentary Now' tear VICE a new one

Documentary Now! is a hilarious sendup of the documentary genre by SNL alumni, and IFC has released the second episode DRONEZ: The Hunt for El Chingon, a parody of the always mockable VICE sensationalism.

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Hilariously terrifying talk about security

In Not Even Close: The State of Computer Security, a talk given at the Norwegian Deveopers' Conference, Microsoft Research's James Mickens gave the most acerbic, funny, terrifying security talk I can remember seeing (and I've seen a lot of 'em!).

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Smash the State: a 1971 Ladybird book


A image from the Boing Boing Flickr pool by Flamenco Sun.

John Oliver on the brutal state of sex-ed in America

The best political commentator in America offers a terrifying, oh-god-I-can't-stop-laughing-but-it's-not-funny glimpse into the world of abstinence-based education, evidence-free sex-ed, and the culture of secrecy over curriculum.

The hilarious banality of today's college comedy circuit

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Caitlin Flanagan has written the funniest and most incisive glimpse into what it's like for today's road hacks whose livelihoods depend on navigating the treacherous waters of the college comedy circuit.

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Watch this baseball fan behind home plate make blowjob faces on TV

His parents must be very proud.

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WATCH: The GOP primary debate, songified

"We Need Brain" is a quotation from Donald Trump at last night's GOP presidential primary debate, and it's the title of the songified version by the Gregory Brothers. Worth watching just for the GIF-able clips like these:

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The only furniture you need is a single smooth stone that reminds you of your mother


Mallory Ortberg expertly skewers the weird de-cluttering dogma of Marie Kondo's bestselling Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: "It’s important to be very rich but have almost no items in your home."

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Even Strong Bad and Homestar Runner concede that Flash is dead

Fifteen years after the Flash animation web stars first graced our screens, even Strong Bad and Homestar Runner are ready to throw the shroud over Flash.

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Things that look like Donald Trump

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Via Nuuskamuikkunen, this collection of things that look like Donald Trump hints at the many tantalizing possibilities for lookalikes.

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WATCH: Jungle Boogie by Muppets' Electric Mayhem with Sam the Eagle

Not even straight-laced Sam the Eagle can resist the funky riffs of Kool & the Gang when laid down by The Electric Mayhem.

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