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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast 133: House of Cards

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things. NSFW.

Midway through “The Princess and The Queen”, Ivan and Red take a break to cover… a web series? With direction by David Fincher, and starring Robin Wright, Kevin Spacey, and Kate Mara, House of Cards is easily the best web series of all time, certainly the one with the highest budget. They cover the reasons Game of Thrones fans would like House of Cards, dog problems, Presidential canon in fictional political shows, those three words every woman wants to here, heirlooms, and absolute, unquestioning, loyalty.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast 128: True Detective

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things. NSFW.

Just days before our live Game of Thrones gameshow at Lost Weekend in San Francisco, Ivan and Red hit the latest in this series of recommendations for GoT fans desperate for worthy off-season entertainment, “What You Should Be Watching.” This week it’s HBO’s True Detective, AKA the Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey non-Buddy Cop non-Comedy. They cover the world’s greatest casting agent, correlations with Aaron Sorkin, Rustin Spencer and his connection to Ocean’s 11, how to share what kind of person you are, McConaughey on sizzurp, filling in plot points with pagers and hurricanes, the worst kind of atheist, the show’s problems with women, and elements of a successful pilot.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast 128: Masters of Sex

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things. NSFW.

With an episode yet between our live podcast and beginning Martin’s “The Princess and the Queen” in George R.R. Martin’s Dangerous Women anthology, Ivan and Red continue to direct Game of Thrones fans desperate for entertainment towards worthy replacements with our “What You Should Be Watching” series! This week it’s Showtime’s Masters of Sex, featuring the fascinating and truly terrifying sexual lives of the 1950s. Ivan and Red are joined by Caitlin Gill, member of the San Francisco comedy mafia “The Business”, who has appeared in 7x7 Magazine, on NPR’s Snap Judgement, and on this very podcast. Get into it, Daddy!

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast 127: Black Mirror

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things. NSFW.

Having finished all of Book 3 of George R.R. Martin’s A Storm of Swords, and with a couple weeks before they start covering Martin’s “The Princess and the Queen,” part of the Dangerous Women anthology, Ivan and Red bring you their greatest “What You Should Be Watching” yet, Channel 4’s Black Mirror. If this is a show you have not heard about, you are in for some of the darkest humor imaginable, perfect for anyone deep in the Throes of “Thrones” withdrawal! We talk about the first episode of the first season of Black Mirror, but we leave out the ending because it’s something Bannermen should experience for themselves.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast: Coldhands, My Canadian Girlfriend

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things. NSFW.

In this episode, Red and Ivan discuss the Davos V & Bran IV chapters of George R.R. Martin's A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). They also talk about Railroad speaking directly to listeners, Stannis’s Bannermen vs. Ivan’s twitter followers, the Nightfort, prince stew, Railroad writing Hodor high, and a TALKING TREE.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast: The Red Wedding AKA Truly, God is a Cruel Buscemi

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things. NSFW. - Mark

In this episode, Red and Ivan discuss the Catelyn VII & Arya XI chapters of George R.R. Martin's A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). It’s Edmure and Roslin’s wedding day! What could go wrong! Nothing! Ivan and Red discuss Attack The Block, wedding food, stone to lb conversion, unspoken threats, spoken threats, and actual murder.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast: The Red Dress Rehearsal

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things. NSFW. - Mark

In this episode, Red and Ivan discuss the Catelyn VI & Arya X chapters of George R.R. Martin's A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). Kelly Anneken joins Ivan and Red as they discuss the Happy Mutants podcast, social media snafus, racist animals, Goorin Brothers hats, Lord Walder Frey as a tiny baby, Jinglebell jingling his bells, and Lord Walder’s Beringer White Zinfandel.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast: Rowing Across the Trident? That’s a Paddlin’

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things using foul language. In this episode, they discuss the Arya IX and Jon VI chapters of George R.R. Martin's A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). Also covered: Bannerman Shannon’s NaNoWriMo victory, the double-headed horse, Sandor the Stranger, Telltale Games’ upcoming Game of Thrones game, Wolfman Bran, and new character Noswym McDrownsalot.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast: Let Your Direwolf Do The Talking

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things using foul language. In this episode, they discuss the Catelyn V and Samwell III chapters of George R.R. Martin's A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). Also covered: Locke and the confusion with Vargo Hoat, Ivan's responses to Spam emails, foreshadowing, the women of House Mormont, a horse riding a horse, the legitimization of children born out of wedlock, DC’s The Seven, and an unfortunate amount of ambient gunfire.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast: Keep Wine Precious

Boars, Gore, and Swords is hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and lots of other things using foul language. In this episode, they discuss Arya VIII and Jaime VI chapters of George R.R. Martin's A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). Also covered: Gendry's ignorance, Railroad getting women into bed, the new Boing Boing readers, Aenys Frey, Ivan's review of Square Inc's cafeteria, Lannister ambition, Jaime dream interpretation, Brienne's poor record as a bodyguard, Vargo, and the Kingthlayer.

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Boars, Gore, and Swords podcast: Ravens to Penthouse

Boing Boing's latest podcast is called Boars, Gore, and Swords (BGaS for short). It's hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and other lots of other things. You should know that they use salty language. Enjoy! -- Mark

In this episode, Red and Ivan discuss chapters Jon V and Daenerys IV in A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). Also: BGaS announces it’s joined the Boing Boing podcast network! Red and Ivan discuss stone scrapers, proper arrow removal, fun things to say to a conquering army, blue hair, and NaNoWriMo. Closing song is “Last (Fire) Kiss” by Dan Preston..

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Boars, Gore, and Swords: New Boing Boing podcast!

Look -- Boing Boing has a new podcast! It's called Boars, Gore, and Swords (BGaS for short). It's hosted by stand-up comedians Ivan Hernandez and Red Scott. In each episode they break down HBO's Game of Thrones and George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire. They also talk about movies, TV, science fiction, fantasy, and other lots of other things. You should know that they use salty language. Enjoy! -- Mark

In this episode, Red and Ivan discuss chapters Arya VII and Bran III in A Storm of Swords (Catch up on past podcast episodes here to listen to previous chapter breakdowns). Also: it’s Ivan’s Birthday episode! He joins Red to drink a bottle of wine, discuss Ivan's Give Me Fiction live storytelling show, Arya and archery, 200-yard archery shots, The Hound and Canadian Gold, Hodoring, and mind control. They end with discussion of Ender’s Game and the Thor sequel.

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Game of Thones recut as trailer for comedy about theme park cast and crew

"Theme park manager Eddie Stark has one week to whip his lackluster group of employees into shape before the park's grand opening." The folks at Bad Lip Reading have outdone themselves.

Short video on origins of Elvish, Klingon, Dothraki and Na’vi

From TED Ed: "What do Game of Thrones’ Dothraki, Avatar’s Na’vi, Star Trek’s Klingon and LOTR’s Elvish have in common? They are all fantasy constructed languages, or conlangs. Conlangs have all the delicious complexities of real languages: a high volume of words, grammar rules, and room for messiness and evolution. John McWhorter explains why these invented languages captivate fans long past the rolling credits."

Game of Thrones S3E9: The Red Wedding

The latest episode of Game of Thrones was pretty much business as usual. It turned out Walder Frey was ready to let bygones be bygones, and a lovely wedding feast was held for Edmure and Roslin. Wine flowed, and music played.

I mean, they played the Lannister family song at a Tully wedding, which I thought was pretty rude. It's like, why are they playing that song?

Why are they playing that -- oh.

You should definitely watch the episode before you read this recap. I really mean it this time. If you read recaps of things you haven't read or seen and then complain about spoilers, I hope you marry a Frey.

Read the rest

A collection of dire wolf skulls

This image shows fewer than 400 of the 1600+ dire wolf skulls found in the La Brea Tar Pits — natural seepages of asphalt that trapped thousands upon thousands of animals over centuries. Like most of you, I was familiar with what the tar pits were. But, until I visited last week, I hadn't really had a grasp of just how many animal remains have been found there. Seriously, the place is lousy with bones. As in, chunks of partially excavated asphalt look more like jumbles of bone held together with some hardened goop.

For the record, dire wolves really did exist, and they really were larger than modern wolves — but not as much larger as you might imagine from reading Game Of Thrones. There's a lot of overlap in the Bell Curves here, with the average dire wolf probably having been about the same size as the larger specimens of modern grey wolves.

Meanwhile, there are people trying to breed a dog that fits the fantasy of pet dire wolves — really big, really wolfy, and yet somehow well-behaved. It is not, however, terribly like the real-life dire wolf, in looks or genetics.

My Own Private Westeros: hand-made scale model of Game of Thrones map

[Click to enlarge]. Mikeal is making an incredibly labor-intensive scale model of the Game of Thrones Westeros map, and you can watch him build it at his tumblr: myownprivatewesteros.tumblr.com. 3D-printed castle models, walls of putty, hand-painted rivers and hills. This guy is serious.

(Thanks, Tom Osborn)

Westeros (Game of Thrones) built in Minecraft

Here's a Time video about Jacob Granberry's effort to build Westeros, from Game of Thrones, in Minecraft. More at WesterosCraft. (Thanks, Ben Cosgrove!)

Game of Thrones S3E7: I am yours and you are mine

The song "The Bear and the Maiden Fair" that heralds the climax of this episode is about the comedy in unmatched relationships, in pairing yourself inappropriately in accordance with your station.

Yet that's the theme of this episode -- love, silly love, in all of its sick permutations. Once again into the breach!

Read the rest

Game of Brogues

From Max Read's fantastic article nitpicking the inconsistencies in Game of Thrones' deployment of regional British accents:

"The show has dragons, who cares if the accents don't match?": Well, first of all, I care. Second of all, the cornerstone of science fiction and fantasy fandom is nitpicking. Third of all, the fact that Game of Thrones doesn't take place within our collectively agreed-upon reality doesn't release it from its responsibility to verisimilitude or the maintenance of internal consistency within its own systems.

Game of Thrones S3E5: Through the fire and the flames

The latest episode of Game of Thrones was, in my humble opinion, far and away the most exciting one yet. Fire, fire and more fire, fatherhood and impeccable crescendoes. Such payoff for book fans, but what do viewers think?

Let's recap and discuss. I can't wait!

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Game of Thrones S3E4: This is Madness

A friend of mine has a very bleak assessment of Game of Thrones: If you love a character, they'll die unfulfilled. If you hate a character, you'll come to learn how they became so hateful and start to love them, and then they try to redeem themselves and die unfulfilled.

It's not quite like that, or else I'd be worried about spoiling by sharing the sentiment. But how the show will deal with the books' long march of constant thwarting and elusive pleasure, while adding additional characters all the time, and still keep interest, was one of the things I worried about last season. How will the show give viewers the emotional boost they need to stay invested while being true to the gruesome, occasionally-grueling canon?

Well, stuff like That Daenerys Scene, I guess. It's time to recap and discuss! I'll bring the words, you bring the animated GIFs.

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Priorities and privilege reign in Game of Thrones S3E3

I’ve heard a lot of bewilderment across social media when it comes to keeping up with the ever-climbing number of characters in this show. Even fans of the books are having a bit of a tough time, since the written chronology is odd -- each character’s arc is written separately, so you might read in an entirely unpredictable order about events that are presumed to be happening simultaneously.

The show’s doing an incredible job of streamlining the chronology and making sure stories unfolding at different corners of the world keep reasonable pace with each other, and at uniting disparate arcs under a common theme. It’s titled “Walk of Punishment”, and it’s about the privileges each individual has (or has not), and what those things cost them.

Sigh. Trigger warning for discussion of rape.

Read the rest

Game of Thrones S3E2: Ladies, leave your men at home

The Game of Thrones universe is all about how disadvantages are balanced against advantages: Every major character or faction has a unique set of challenges, and then a trump card. Tyrion Lannister's unfavorable height, scarred face and status as the family black sheep is balanced by his superior wit and endless disposable income; as Queen Regent, Cersei almost has the power she wants -- but then of course, she's tasked with mothering and managing awful Joffrey. Daenerys' dragons were her trump card even when she had nothing else. And young Bran Stark has lost everything, including the use of his legs, but he has "green dreams."

Read the rest

Game of Thrones returns with critical mass of politicking

Funny thing about recaps: Some of the early feedback I got on the handful I did last season suggested people wanted less blow-by-blow, more macroanalysis.

Read the rest

Game of Thrones 1995

I want it all, and I want it now. [Video Link]

Censored versions of Game of Thrones

My 9-year-old daughter is an avid World of Warcraft player, and enjoys reading Dungeons and Dragons manuals (We are joining a twice-monthly game that my friend is setting up). So it's no surprise that whenever she hears my wife and I discuss Game of Thrones (which we do a lot), her ears perk up. She wants to know everything about Arya Stark, the young female sword fighter. She begs us to let her watch the show. I wish she could watch it, too, but I don't want her to see the sex and nudity scenes. (I don't really mind her seeing the violent scenes.)

Out of curiosity, I searched Google for "censored game of thrones" and discovered that there are quite a few versions of Game of Thrones in which the sex and nudity scenes have been removed. The first search result is for censored GoT seasons 1 and 2 on the Pirate Bay. The person who uploaded them wrote:

Yep, you read it right. This is Game of Thrones censored. What does this mean?

-All of the nudity has been removed, some extreme swearing removed, and some other small things.

Don't worry, it has been done in a way that that will preserve the story. If a sex scene had anything important to the story in the dialogue, the dialogue was preserved without the nudity.

Why would someone want this?

-You don't want to watch a show with borderline pornography.

-You've seen it, but want to watch it with family, or a friend who would disapprove of the nudity and sex.

Enjoy!

I have not downloaded it these, even though I'm a paying HBO subscriber. I wish HBO would release a nudity-free version. I'd buy it in a minute.

UPDATE: My friend Peter Bebergal (author of the terrific book Too Much to Dream: A Psychedelic American Boyhood) emailed me about this post. He wrote:

Just looking at the comments on your Games of Thrones post. I kind of wish we were having the Gweek chat after this.

But yes, it's a complicated issue and I appreciate you being honest about it. I lean towards your feelings and I think it does have a lot to do with what is easily perceived as fantasy (outlandish violence) and what is easily perceived as not (rape, sexual bargaining, sexual power and abuse, etc.)

Well said, Peter. This is why I feel the way I do about the violence vs sex and nudity in GoT.

Great moments in pedantry: How do you grow wine in a land without predictable seasons?

Winter is here. Which means it's time once again to start science-wanking the climate of George R.R. Martin's "Game of Thrones" series. Back in May, i09 had a great piece on possible astronomical explanations for Westeros' weird seasons, where Summer and Winter can each last a decade. The hard part (which prompted lots of great conversations here) is that the lengths of the seasons are apparently totally unpredictable. Here's an eight-year-long Summer. There's a Winter that lasts five years and another that lasts a generation. The implications for food storage, alone, are enough to drive one batty.

Word of Martin says this is magic. But it presents so many science-related questions that it's really, really fun to speculate about how you might explain the differences between that world and ours in purely naturalistic terms.

Now, at The Last Word on Nothing, Sean Treacy brings up a different sort of food-related problem that I'd not even considered while I was busy trying to figure out the volume of the average Westerosi grain silo. How do you grow wine grapes without predictable seasons?

... grapevines have a life cycle that depends on regular seasons. In winter, grapevines are dormant. Come spring they sprout leaves. As summer begins, they flower and tiny little grapes appear. Throughout the summer the grapes fill up with water, sugar and acid. The grapes are finally ready for picking in early autumn, then go back to sleep in winter. This cycle is why wineries can rely on a yearly grape yield. Obviously, in Westeros, something must be different about how grapes work.

But it turns out there is a real-world way to produce wine throughout an endless summer. São Francisco Valley is a wine-growing region in tropical Brazil that is only about 600 to 700 miles south of equator. Despite the constant warmth, they pump out two and sometimes three grape harvests a year. How? By depriving the vines of water and removing their leaves after every harvest, which forces them to hibernate. “They trick the plant into thinking it’s wintertime,” Busalacchi said.

The whole post is really interesting and you should read it. Who knew that the Arbor would lead me to be more educated about real-world booze?

Image: Wine, a Creative Commons Attribution (2.0) image from isante's photostream

When Edward Gorey plays the Game of Thrones, everyone wins

DeviantART users Curtana and Kaleadora have both collaborated on an adorably violent mashup of George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series (which inspired HBO's Game of Thrones) and Edward Gorey, depicting some of the author's most gruesome events in the style of the darkly funny illustrator. Borrowing from the abecedarian format of Gorey's The Gashlycrumb Tinies, the artists have depicted exactly 26 of the most well-known and, ahem, gory scenes from the series of books. (Let that be a spoiler warning for events that have not yet taken place on Game of Thrones.) See the full set, entitled "A Very Gorey ASOIAFabet," on DeviantART. (via A.V. Club)

Game of Thrones cosplay: a most excellent Daenerys Targaryen (photo)

Larger sizes here. Boing Boing reader jojo.edtan's Flickr stream is full of wonderful photographs of cosplayers, and he shared a bunch of great shots from the recent PAX Prime convention in our Boing Boing Flickr pool. Here's a "Game of Thrones" cosplayer, as the character Daenerys Targaryen. I'm afraid we don't know the name of the cosplayer herself, but I'll update the post if/when someone identifies her! More of jojo.edtan's Pax Prime shots here; more Game of Thrones cosplayers at that event here. Check out this one incredible shot of a cosplayer as courtesan Fiora Cavazza, a character from Assassin's Creed 3.