Boing Boing 

Man beaten with garden gnome

Combat-Garden-GnomesA man sat in his parked car was struck with a garden gnome after it was used to smash his window by robbers, who then escaped with cash. A garden gnome and a toy black pistol were "secured for forensic examination." [via Arbroath.]

Gnome mystery as 107 statues appear overnight in garden

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Marcela Telehanicova, of Ivybridge, England, woke last week to find an army of gnomes neatly arranged in formation in her front yard, thirty rows deep.

In a story headlined "Call Gnomeland Security," The Plymouth Herald reports that the statuettes were placed there sometime between 9.30pm on June 1 and 1.30 am on June 2.

“I had a second look, thought ‘What is that?’” she said. “Then I realised they were little people.”

Marcela, who lives with her young son, says the figures were made of plastic and moulded into the shape of little workmen.

“I was in hysterics, I found it really funny,” she said.

“It’s the best, most bizarre thing that has ever happened to me.

Local police suspect that an equivalent number of gnomes may well be missing from other people's yards. "No gnomes have been reported missing," a police spokeswoman said. "The question is whether they are stolen, as opposed to being gnomeless."

Zombie Garden Gnome

Despite recent events, the Fairyland CDC "does not know of a virus, condition or curse that would reanimate dead gnomes (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)."

Gnombie [Amazon]
Zombie Garden Gnome (Cheaper but not as cool) [Amazon]
Official Gnombies homepage [thegnombies.com]
Garden Gnome Zombie T-shirts, etc. [Cafepress]

Read the rest

CERN manager weighs gnome


Mike Stoor of the European Organisation for Nuclear Research (CERN) near Geneva, weighs a gnome in the Control Room of the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) on April 5, 2012. A German precision scale maker sends the gnome to different scientific institutions to demonstrate that, due to gravity and the Earth not being a perfect sphere, its weight differs around the world. The gnome reportedly weighed 307.65 g (10.8520 oz), but failed to protest his captivity in the voice of U.K. comic legend Harry Enfield. Photo: REUTERS/Denis Balibouse

Combat Gnome

"I don't know what it was that finally prompted the gnomes to take up arms. Maybe it was one too many gopher invasions. Perhaps it was the overwhelming gaudiness of neighboring plastic pink flamingos encroaching on their ancestral homeland. Or maybe they just finally got tired of the media portraying them as traveling morons. Either way, they've had enough and they're out for blood." [Shawn Thorsson's Etsy store via @greatdismal]