After an unexpectedly cold start to March, authorities in Ohio have called for the indictment and execution of the groundhog whose report promised an early end to winter.

"Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that spring would come early," Mike Gmoser, the prosecutor in southwestern Ohio's Butler County, wrote in an official-looking indictment.

Funny! But only because he's not in Italy.