Adapters for everything!
Jason Klamm from the Comedy on Vinyl podcast (previously) writes, "My comedy duo just set a world record with the world's smallest playable comedy album. People in A Position to Know made a custom turntable and plinth and we got it down to 1.5". It's a really dumb joke (set up on side A, punchline side B), but that was sort of the joy of having to put it together. Since Guinness doesn't want to accept a new world record by genre, they didn't include it, but there are no other contenders that any of us have been able to find." Read the rest
Do not compare sausages to horse penises in Kyrgyzstan, or you could end up spending five years in prison. One man who learned this the hard way is Michael Mcfeat, a Brit who works at a gold mine in Kyrgyzstan. Mcfeat recently posted to Facebook that a traditional Kyrgyzstanian horse sausage known as chuchuk, which was being served to his co-workers at a holiday party, was actually a "special delicacy, the horse's penis." His co-workers complained to authorities and he was arrested.
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Mcfeat, who is currently being held by police, could face racial hatred charges punishable by a jail term of up to five years, it said. A British embassy representative confirmed that officials were in touch with both Centerra and the local authorities over the matter.
Following the uproar, the Briton deleted his remarks and posted an apology on Facebook, saying he had not meant to offend anyone.
Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final frontier.
(Thanks, Cash Ashkinos!) Read the rest
Unsupervised joke generation from big data [PDF], a paper by University of Edinburgh researchers Sasa Petrovic and David Matthews, describes an ingenious and successful method for teaching a computer to make up jokes like "I like my relationships like I like my source, open;" "I like my coffee like I like my war, cold;" and "I like my boys like I like my sectors, bad." The researchers wrote code that called on Google's n-gram database to find noun-attribute pairs, zero in on nouns with ambiguous meaning, and automatically generate jokes. Read the rest
In 1982, at the urging of his parents, Ensign Eldridge Hord sat for a formal photograph commemorating his graduation from the Naval Academy.
It was the sort of portrait that looks a bit silly as you get older, especially as this particular portrait was used in the photographer's advertising. Many prints were made. Some with paint texture added for classy effect. In 2003, Hord's sister brought a 3-foot-tall version to a party at his house as a joke. Some of then-Captain Hord's Navy colleagues were also at the party. Naturally, they swiped the portrait, beginning a years-long running gag of smuggling the giant photo into various Navy offices and events.
When Hord retired in 2009, the pranksters had a "Eureka!" moment.
On one of his last days at the Pentagon, Lt. Col. Bangsboll went to a jewelry shop to have a brass plaque engraved, egged on by colleagues and co-conspirators.
ENS CHUCK HORD
USNA, CIRCA 1898
LOST AT SEA 1908
Lt. Col. Bangsboll scouted the halls [of the Pentagon] for the right spot ... He settled on a previously unadorned hallway ... At 6:15 a.m. on July 29, 2011, Lt. Col. Bangsboll spirited the portrait to the hallway and drove a large screw into the wall.
Nineteenth century sailor Chuck Hord and his suspiciously blow-dried hair might still be hanging in the halls of the Pentagon were it not for those meddling kids at the Wall Street Journal.
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After The Wall Street Journal asked Pentagon officials about the long-lost sailor's suspiciously modern hairstyle, Lt.