Trump admits firing Comey to impede investigation into "Trump and Russia"

In an interview with NBC News, president Donald Trump let slip the real reason he fired FBI Director James Comey – a reason all know and understand, but which was so far fig-leaved by various lurching cover stories.

Why didn't Lester Holt follow-up on each gift of a response from Trump? Because Lester Holt is incapable of reacting to even the most revealingly stupid answers. He just moves on to the next question. Trump could have said "Putin told me to have him found in a ditch, but you know, we can be subtle," and Holt would have stared at him a moment, then asked "Were you angry with Comey?"

Which leads us to an important reminder, the thing Trump knows that gives him the security to just blather out any answer he believes will make him look reasonable right now: nothing will happen. Read the rest

MMA fighter's quick defeat of traditional martial artist "leaves China reeling"

The BBC reports a quick outcome to a televised bout fought between Xu Xiaodong, a practitioner of modern mixed martial arts, and Wei Lei, a Tai Chi master. It was over in a few seconds, with a few more of the traditionalist, hopelessly outmatched, shielding himself on the ground.

Millions of people have since watched video footage of the competition, and it has triggered a huge discussion in China on whether traditional martial arts - or wushu - can ever truly be effective in combat. Tai chi is now associated by many with older people, who use the series of movements to improve posture and release stress and anxiety. They can often be seen in Chinese public parks in the morning, slowly stretching out their arms.

But it has been part of Chinese martial arts culture since the 16th Century. Films and TV dramas have historically portrayed martial arts masters as great heroes in conflict, with almost supernatural strength.

Here's the infamous video of Aikido master and telekineticist Yanagi Ryuken, whose (partially apocryphal) $5000 challenge to fight anyone was taken up by an MMA fighter.

The website Bullshido focuses mostly on Westerners exploiting Asian concepts to sell quack fighting techniques to Americans, and has many amusing don't-read-the-comments videos of them at work. The resemblance to Christian revival shows is often uncanny. Read the rest

An Eel in the Keel

1. Chinese man is constipated. 2. Chinese man remembers an old folk remedy. 3. Remedy involves inserting a live eel up your bum. 4. Chinse man goes to hospital.

Seems like a foregone conclusion that if you insert a live eel in your rectum, health problems will ensue! The slippery monster ate through part of the guy’s intestines and went for a swim. The man went to the hospital to have it removed.

I don’t really have to say anymore because here’s a video from Chinese news with a CGI reenactment of the whole fiasco. From the music, the little green cloud, and the gas mask it appears that Chinese news takes this to be a comedic episode. Just remember this the next time you go out for a nice unagi dinner.

Via SoraNews 24.

  Read the rest

Every member of congress's reaction to Trump firing the FBI Director investigating him

@vidiot_ on Twitter compiled 536 reactions from members of Congress into a simple, easily-scanned Google spreadsheet.

Many haven't said a thing. Democrats seem united in criticism of Trump. Republicans are mostly silent on the matter, with a dozen or so on the record. Of those, they're about equally split between praise and criticism of the firing.

Don't expect Congress to do anything about it. Trump's gift is for grift, and the art of grift is in spotting weak assumptions. What do people think can't be done, but have no will or means to punish or prevent? Read the rest

Report: Trump fired Comey because he would not publicly clear Trump of Russia ties

Trump fired FBI Director James Comey because he "would not publicly state that there were no links between Trump and Russians," reports MSN, citing a paywalled article at The Wall Street Journal. He also hated Comey's relentless attention-seeking from the media, which offered Trump a staggeringly narcissistic excuse to fire him: inappropriate treatment of Hillary's emails.

...there was growing frustration among President Donald Trump’s associates that the former FBI director would not tamp down questions about the president’s alleged connection to Russia. He refused to “say those three little words: ‘There’s no ties,'” the source told WSJ about Trump’s decision to fire Comey without any forewarning. Comey was appointed in 2013 and had not yet served 6 years of what should have been a 10-year term. ... A White House source also said Trump was upset about what he viewed as the former director’s willingness to jump in front of cameras and questioned whether Comey could be independent while keeping such a high media profile. Another White House aide described the former FBI director as a show horse.

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How not to defraud Workers' Comp

The glitched shimmer of a Fort Lauderdale office CCTV feed. A woman long of bone at the machine. A sprinkler head fell on her desk and she gaped up at the pebbledash expanse of the droptile ceiling. The metal thing just sat there on the melamine under the cold flourescent light. Then she took it up and bashed her head with it. I can't tell you what she was thinking but I can tell you what come to pass.

"Her employer's insurance company got suspicious and brought in Florida's Division of Investigative and Forensic Services." At least that's how Fox 13 out of Tampa put it. God might not see nor care but they had a camera upon her the whole while. They fired her and charged her with insurance fraud. The judge put her on 18 months' probation.

They never gave her money so she don't have to repay none. Read the rest

Black art student with glue gun mistakenly thought to be dangerous, caused 4-hour lockdown at university

"Sir, put down the glue gun!"

As ridiculous as that may sound, Colgate University in upstate New York was placed on lockdown last night after someone spotted a a man carrying a gun. A glue gun, that is. The man was a black student working on an art project.

"There is a dangerous situation in the Coop. Everyone is advised to leave the building," the university tweeted. And, “There is an armed person at the Coop. Find a safe space and remain indoors. If you are off-campus, stay away." The Coop is a dining hall on campus.

Then rumors spread. Suddenly there were two gunmen, and one had committed suicide. This was false.

According to Huffington Post:

During the lockdown, students in campus dorms were advised to keep their lights off to avoid attracting attention, a student told The Huffpost. The college finally lifted the shelter-in-place order shortly before midnight.

“After thorough investigation, and with the assistance of the person in question, law enforcement identified the individual as a student who was using a glue gun for an art project, confirmed the misunderstanding, and released the campus from lockdown,” said a Colgate statement.

Some students expressed concerns on social media about the reaction to the student with the hot glue gun, and worried about what could have happened to him because of his race, particularly as rumors mounted.

Image: Luke Surl Read the rest

Interesting shirt from this weekend's Trump rally

The checkbox, turning "There is NO OTHER CHOICE" into another choice, says it all. Read the rest

Building demolished in Changzhou

Once the tallest building in Changzhou, Jiangsu, China, this tower went down in eight seconds on April 25.

This angle gives an excellent impression of the local government's appreciation of modern public safety standards:

https://twitter.com/globaltimesnews/status/857172436353138688/ Read the rest

An illustration of the the danger of saying "Play this at my funeral"

TheScreamingFedora sharpened a joke more tamely made here.

Previously: Biggie Smalls the Tank Engine Read the rest

Baptizing praying mantises forces the devil out

In this video, a man partially immerses a praying mantis in water, thereby forcing the hairworms possessing it to leave. That the mantis also dies, according to one commenter, is not because the videomaker left it in the water to drown alongside the infestors. [via]

The worm digested the insides of the Praying Mantis. While inside, it keeps the nervous system from collapsing, but upon existing the Mantis immediately dies. So the Mantis isn't dead yet at the start of this video, its close to being a zombie, so not really alive either.
Read the rest

Already regretting assigning J.G. Ballard to cover the Fyre Festival

(Note to proofreader: I just received this copy and figure it should just go up verbatim. Next time they do something like this remind me to send William Golding instead. — Rob)

Later, as he sat in his tent eating the doggo, Robin Laing reflected on the unusual events that had taken place at the Fyre Festival during the previous three hours.

Now that everything had returned to normal, with most of the rich kids cowering in the airport and the ostensible proprietors begging Twitter for forgiveness and mercy, he was surprised that there had been no obvious beginning, no point beyond which lunch had moved into a clearly more sinister dimension. In the middle of the field, a girl in an Afhan Whigs tee shirt screamed about gluten in the rye. Read the rest

Imagine you work by paying $425 for artificially mud-stained jeans

Nordstrom's is selling artificially mud-stained jeans that look like they've just gotten in from a few hours' laboring in the yard. The $425 mud isn't mud: it's paint.

Details & Care

Heavily distressed medium-blue denim jeans in a comfortable straight-leg fit embody rugged, Americana workwear that's seen some hard-working action with a crackled, caked-on muddy coating that shows you're not afraid to get down and dirty.

Previously: Clear plastic jeans Read the rest

Some idiot left a coastal wall right in front of a ferry

In Las Palmas de Gran Canaria in the Canary Islands, some total moron designed, financed and constructed a large coastal wall right where a ferry was headed.

Videos and photos of the accident appeared quite serious, although no injuries have been reported.

The ship involved was the Volcan de Tamasite and, according to information received by The Canary, 140 passengers were on board at the time, though nobody seems to have been seriously hurt, some reports have mentioned up to four people with minor injuries.

Read the rest

Salad found around dead bat bought from Walmart

Walmart is recalling a product described as "Organic Marketside Spring Mix salad" after decomposing vegetable matter was found around a dead bat it sold to a Florida customer.

The company said it worked quickly with officials to remove the entire batch of salads from store shelves, and only one line of its products had been affected.

"Fresh Express takes matters of food safety very seriously and rigorously complies with all food safety regulations including the proscribed Good Agricultural Practices," a company statement said.

Read the rest

Have you texted your textdoor neighbor?

The cool kids are texting their textdoor neighbors—people whose phone number is a digit higher or lower than their own—and sharing their adventures at r/textdoor. About half the respondents seem incapable of grasping the concept and keep asking "how did you get this number?" Many conversations are a bit weird and stilted, expressing the paranoia and suspicion of modern internet life. But someone is going on a date, too! Read the rest

Why you shouldn't kiss snapping turtles

There’s a difference between the human who thinks and the human who does not. This human is not thinking, even though he may feel affection toward the turtle … the snapping turtle. Amusing and pitiful photos follow.

 

Via Rocket News.  Read the rest

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