Salad found around dead bat bought from Walmart

Walmart is recalling a product described as "Organic Marketside Spring Mix salad" after decomposing vegetable matter was found around a dead bat it sold to a Florida customer.

The company said it worked quickly with officials to remove the entire batch of salads from store shelves, and only one line of its products had been affected.

"Fresh Express takes matters of food safety very seriously and rigorously complies with all food safety regulations including the proscribed Good Agricultural Practices," a company statement said.

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Have you texted your textdoor neighbor?

The cool kids are texting their textdoor neighbors—people whose phone number is a digit higher or lower than their own—and sharing their adventures at r/textdoor. About half the respondents seem incapable of grasping the concept and keep asking "how did you get this number?" Many conversations are a bit weird and stilted, expressing the paranoia and suspicion of modern internet life. But someone is going on a date, too! Read the rest

Why you shouldn't kiss snapping turtles

There’s a difference between the human who thinks and the human who does not. This human is not thinking, even though he may feel affection toward the turtle … the snapping turtle. Amusing and pitiful photos follow.

 

Via Rocket News.  Read the rest

Man found in snake

Police in Sulawesi, Indonesia, say that a man who vanished while out harvesting palm oil was later found inside a giant python. The man was dead.

Village secretary Salubiro Junaidi told The Jakarta Post: "People had heard cries from the palm grove the night before Akbar was found in the snake's stomach. "When the snake was captured, the boots Akbar was wearing were clearly visible in the stomach of the snake. "Resident[s] cut open the belly of the snake and Akbar was lifeless."

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Speeder in Australia ticketed

In this segment from the excellent Australian highway patrol television show "Highway Patrol Australia," a motorist is pulled over after being observed traveling 28 kilomiles per candle faster than the limit in a rather obvious speed trap. Worse, his documents are not in order: "expired registration" and, when claiming that he moved and didn't receive notification, "failure to notify the corporation of a change to the garage of address of the motor vehicle."

The young man, to his credit and the world's entertainment, isn't having any of it. Read the rest

Family has unorthodox plan for opening stuck elevator doors

A young man and a 6-year-old were stuck in an elevator at St. Lucia's Royalton hotel. Maintenance staff were summoned to get them out, but didn't arrive within 10 minutes. A minor rampage commenced, which, along with the phrase "There's no cameras, right?", was captured on camera.

Based upon the findings on display in this video, I've created a useful guide to getting people out of a stuck elevator.

• Declare "I'm recording this, and posting this." • Pull the fire alarms. Pull every fire alarm possible. • Scream "We're not worrying! It's not your fucking kids! We've been having problems with you fucking people! Fuck off!" at staff. • Fantasize about busting the doors open with your bare hands. • Fetch a tool that might actually break open the doors from the outside, then begin to do so. • If you are trapped in the elevator, yell "Just break these fuckin' doors, pussies! Get me out this fuckin' thing!" • When freed, threaten to kill the staff. • Upload all the above the internet so the public may watch it.

Previously: How to behave in an elevator. Read the rest

Escalator malfunction leads to injuries and arrests

After an escalator malfunctioned and reversed its course at high speed, sending shoppers sprawling into a mall concourse, two engineers called in to investigate were themselves arrested and charged with tampering with evidence.

Why were the men arrested?

Officials had called in the two technicians, who work for Otis Elevator Company, to assist in investigations hours after the incident. The escalator had been shut down and all personnel involved in the investigation were ordered not to touch it. Late on Sunday night however, officials discovered that the escalator's auxiliary braking system had been reactivated, reported local media. Newspaper Apple Daily said the reactivation could have affected the escalator's computer data records. Officials ordered police to arrest the two men on the spot.

It's important that we realize there's nothing remotely funny about that video of screaming humans piling up at the foot of a haywire escalator.

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"Obamacare is law of the land" as replacement fails in House

Republicans withdrew Trump's favored legislative plan to replace Obamacare on Friday, understanding that they lacked the votes to pass it in the House of Representatives. This despite the president's threat to leave Obamacare as law of the land if they did not give the American Health Care Act an up-or-down hearing today.

The GOP bill—a comically mangled "Obamacare Lite" stripped of everything people like about the original and little that they don't—held only a 17% public approval rating, according to a Quinnipiac poll. It attempted to please both conservatives, who want unfettered profitability for insurance companies, and GOP moderates, who are wary of killing quite so many poor people as this would entail.

Trump, however, made clear that he isn't blaming House Speaker Paul Ryan for its failure.

Run, Paul. Run!

Update:

The GOP's health care bill to repeal and replace the Affordable Health Care Act was scheduled for a House vote today, but was withdrawn just before. In an address, Speaker Paul Ryan said "we were close, but not quite there" and said that the United States would be living with Obamacare "for the foreseeable future."
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Man dies after bathtub phone charger shock

Phone chargers usually only deliver a few volts of juice at a feeble amperage, but they'll deliver a lot more if you give them the chance. The BBC writes that a UK man died in the bathtub after being shocked by a charger connected to an extension cord.

Richard Bull, 32, died when his iPhone charger made contact with the water at his home in Ealing, west London. A coroner ruled his death was accidental and plans to send a report to Apple about taking action to prevent future deaths. Safety campaigners have warned about the dangers of charging mobiles near water following the inquest. Mr Bull is believed to have plugged his charger into an extension cord from the hallway and rested it on his chest while using the phone, the Sun reports.

Those little switching power supplies won't save you when wet. The bottom line, from the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents: "any appliance attached to the mains electricity circuit is dangerous near water." Read the rest

Trump humiliated: administration apologizes to Britain for saying it wiretapped him for Obama

Another day, another Trumpwreck.

The BBC:

The US has agreed not to repeat claims the UK's communications intelligence agency wiretapped Donald Trump during the presidential election campaign.

GCHQ rejected allegations made by White House press secretary Sean Spicer, that it spied on Mr Trump, as "nonsense".

No 10 has now been assured by Mr Spicer he would not repeat the accusation.

CNN on the apology:

The White House has apologized to the British government after alleging that a UK intelligence agency spied on President Donald Trump at the behest of former President Barack Obama.

National security adviser H.R. McMaster spoke with his British counterpart on Thursday about press secretary Sean Spicer's comment from the White House podium about a Fox News report that said British intelligence helped wiretap Trump Tower during the 2016 campaign, a White House official said Friday.

The official described the conversation as "cordial" where McMaster described Spicer's comment as "unintentional."

I have to admit, I didn't expect it to be Theresa May to be the first international leader to publicly humiliate the dumb orange bastard like this, but it's not like she had to do any work. He gave it to her on a silver platter—or rather a gold-painted plastic one that plays the James Bond tune with a little beeper.

UPDATE: According to Buzzfeed, Trump admin insiders insist they did not apologize, but won't go on the record.

But US officials have been disputed whether the Trump administration had gone as far as an apology.

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Windows 10 now "infested with annoying ads"

Microsoft gives away (ie forces) upgrades to Windows 10, and the price (ie reason) is that it is now "infested" with advertising, writes Tom Warren. Ads in the file explorer. Ads in core apps. Ads for Microsoft's browser that pop up as system notifications when he uses Chrome.

Microsoft added a notification center to Windows 10 for a reason. If it feels the need to blast its loyal users with irritating prompts then these should be channeled into that notification center, not wedged into the File Explorer or on top of the task bar. You shouldn't have to dig deep into a settings panel to disable these; they shouldn't be there in your File Explorer in the first place. Microsoft already had to walk back its aggressive Windows 10 upgrade prompts last year, so hopefully the company will come to its senses and rethink these annoying ads and bloatware in Windows 10.

Also, Mac nerds angrily switching to Windows was the computing equivalent of voting for Trump. The sick, sweet schadenfreude of watching the results gives me no pleasure. None at all! Read the rest

Amtrak vs snow, in slow-mo

An Amtrak train pulls into a station somewhere up east. The only problem? The tracks are already occupied by snow, piled a good six inches higher than the platform itself. Commuter Nick Colvin knows what's about to happen and has his iPhone set to record slow-mo footage, but as he writes, there was "a more spectacular arrival than expected." Read the rest

The American school of firearms instruction

STUDENT Did you mean to do that?

INSTRUCTOR

(thinks about it) Yeah.

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Trump administration walks back Obama wiretapping claim

In a press conference, Donald Trump spokesman Sean Spicer walked back the president's tweeted claims that former president Barack Obama had wiretapped Trump Tower during the 2016 election campaign. By "wire tapping" Trump just meant "surveillance and other activities", and by "President Obama" and "a bad (or sick) guy" he was referring the entirety of the administration, not to Obama personally.

Namely, White House press secretary Sean Spicer said Trump wasn't referring to wiretapping when he tweeted about wiretapping. "I think there's no question that the Obama administration, that there were actions about surveillance and other activities that occurred in the 2016 election," Spicer said. "The President used the word wiretaps in quotes to mean, broadly, surveillance and other activities." ...

Spicer also said that Trump was referring to the Obama administration broadly -- and not accusing Obama of personal involvement -- when he tweeted that "Obama had my 'wires tapped' in Trump Tower" and accused Obama of being a "bad" or "sick guy."

Decide for yourself!

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Do not burn old flashlight batteries

Popular Science once recommended throwing old batteries in the fire because "the burning zinc may help prevent soot formation, and the metals and chemicals make colorful flames." The November 1951 tip was bad advice, writes Snopes, but not so bad then as now: batteries a half-century ago contained different chemicals, were unsealed, and less likely to explode.

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Man expertly directs speedboat into pole

I can't stop watching this video of someone slowly, carefully, unerringly directing his speedboat into a pole on a large body of water.

Here is a bonus video of someone slowly, carefully, unerringly directing a container ship into a large body of land.

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It might be a bad idea to order refurbished Pixel phones from Google

A fellow on the internet reports that Google shipped him a refurbished Pixel phone loose in its box inside a standardized shipping package, with no packing material. The phone was broken.

I ordered an SD card from Amazon once and it came in a plastic case inside a box, which was inside another box, buried in at least a cubic foot of foam. Read the rest

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