Man with inflatable penis implant will lose virginity to sex worker

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Last year, Mohammed Abad, 43, whose penis was destroyed when he was hit by a car as a child, received an 8-inch implant involving two tubes that inflate his reconstructed flesh phallus when he pumps it up via a button in his scrotum. The implant was the culmination of years of reconstructive surgery. These kinds of implants are commonly used to treat erectile dysfunction. Abad has now announced that he will soon lose his virginity to a sex worker named Charlotte Rose, 35.

“I have waited long enough for this — it’ll be a great start to the new year," Abad said. "My penis is working perfectly now so I just want to do it. I’m really excited. I can’t wait for it to finally happen.”

Rose will travel from London to see Abad in Edinburgh.

"I am so honoured that he chose me to take his virginity," she said. "We plan to have a dinner date so we can get to know each other and then two hours of private time. I’m not charging him.”

(The British Journal)

More: "Man's 'Bionic Penis' Is Not So Rare After All" (LiveScience) Read the rest

Woman calls police to report overheard sexually ecstatic cries of "ISIS is good, ISIS is great"

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The 82-year-old caller to Brown Deer, Wisconsin police said that she could hear someone in the throes of sexual ecstasy chanting "ISIS is good, ISIS is great" on the 4400 block of Dean Road. Read the rest

Cop who demanded photo of sexting-accused teen's penis commits suicide

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Detective David Edward Abbott, a member of the Virginia-Washington DC Internet Crimes Against Children Task Force became Internet famous when he obtained a warrant to inject a child with an erection-causing drug so that he could photograph the child's erect penis and compare it to an image sexted to another child. Read the rest

Saudi millionaire acquitted of raping teen in London, says he tripped and accidentally penetrated her

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Ehsan Abdulaziz, a married, 46 year old, rich Saudi property developer, says he invited an 18 year old woman to sleep on his couch, and later tripped and fell on her as she lay asleep, accidentally penetrating her vagina with his penis. Read the rest

#GOPdildo: shooping dildos into GOP gun-totin' photos

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Matt "Metafilter" Haughey's got a new election-season pass-time: he's taking photos that GOP politicians post of themselves holding guns and replacing the BFGs with massive sex-toys, exposing a deep and comic truth. Read the rest

What it’s like to be chemically castrated

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A Massachusetts woman learned that her 62-year-old husband had been having sex with prostitutes for the past eight years. The man decided he was a sex addict and sought treatment from a psychiatrist, Dr. Renee Sorrentino. She began treating him with Lupron, a drug that works by “turning down the sexual volume of the mind." New York magazine interviewed the man about what his life was like with Lupron. He said "it’s absolutely fantastic. I haven’t had an erection in over a year."

Can you remember your first injection?

Sure. It was in the butt. I was surprised that I could feel the chemical stinging as it slowly went in. It hurt. It took at least two shots before I noticed my sexual thoughts slowing down. And I could still get an erection for a couple of months.

And then?

I completely lost the ability to get it up. The thoughts happened, but much less frequently and there was nothing I could do about it. I wasn’t going to go and try to have sex when I was in that state. So I guess it physically stopped me right away. But I was still in a dark place because the thoughts were impacting my work. Then the thoughts started to fade away. Before I went on Lupron I was thinking about having sex with a prostitute over 30 times a day. After six months I would only have the thoughts a few times a day.

Image: Shutterstock Read the rest

Woman adds vaginal yeast to sourdough starter, Internet flips out

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When Zoe Stavri woke up with a yeast infection, she had a strange and intriguing idea: what about adding some of her vaginal candida to sourdough starter? Read the rest

Blankets: New edition of Craig Thompson's graphic masterpiece

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Craig Thompson's second graphic novel, the 582-page mammoth Blankets, swept the field's awards, taking three Harveys, two Eisners, and two Ignatzes. More than a decade later, and buoyed by his later successes (such as 2011's seminal Habibi), Drawn and Quarterly has produced a beautiful new edition.

Upskirt peeper arrested under grate, wants to be "pavement in the next life"

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Yasuomi Hirai, 28, allegedly hid in a drain under a Kobe, Japan sidewalk grate to peep up the skirts of women as they stepped over.

Read the rest

The Womanizer: amazing new kind of orgasm-inducing sex-toy with a dumb name

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The Womanizer is a new, $189 sex toy billed as a "clitoral stimulator." While woman reviewers universally hate the name and many dislike the leopard-spotted finish, they are universal in their acclaim of the Womanizer's ability to give them fast, powerful orgasms. Read the rest

Erotic ebooks about copyright notices, Clippy and Tetris blocks

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Coaxed by the Copyright Page: An Erotic Short Story is Leonard Delaney's latest erotic short story, part four in the Digital Desires series, which includes Taken by the Tetris Blocks, Conquered by Clippy and Invaded by the Iwatch -- they're $2.32 each. Read the rest

Meet the most popular straight woman on OKCupid

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Lauren Urasek, 25, "the most popular heterosexual on OKCupid" according to the dating site, has a new book out, Popular: The Ups and Downs of Online Dating from the Most Popular Girl in New York City. As you might imagine, Urasek's got lot of fun, funny, and horrifying stories to tell, of guys who went for a kiss ten minutes into the first date, outright offered her cash for sex, and interviewed her as if being girlfriend was a job she had applied for. From an interview in The Daily Dot:

Let's talk strategy: What makes you most likely to respond to a guy from an online dating site?

As long as you’re not writing a really horrible message, it’s really about your pictures and your profile, whatever you say. If I’m attracted to you and you don’t come across like an idiot, then I’ll respond to you. It seems so simple, but it’s really not.

I always find it very weird that you can always tell a lot about someone from one picture, or the type of hat that they’re wearing, or the way their facial hair is—if it’s messy or really clean cut, what does that say? And I don't care how attractive you are, shirtless pictures are an automatic turn-off.

I keep hearing this thing about guys posing for pictures with tigers. Is that a thing that you’ve seen?

Yeah. Girls do it, too. Posing for pictures with, like, exotic animals, and in front of national landmarks and wonders of the world.

Read the rest

Sex message on Chipotle cup

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"My son's Chipotle cup says 'reproductive sex' on it," wrote a mom who posted this photo to Reddit. It also looks like the cylindrical object is penetrating something. The text below it reads, "Who wants to feel so small?"

Confused? I was, too, until I learned that it's part of Chipotle's "Cultivating Thought" series. The cup was illustrated by James Gulliver Hancock, and is inspired by something Anthony Doerr wrote for Chipotle:

Tattoo Earth’s 4.5-billion-year timeline onto your arm, shoulder to fingertip, and your upper arm will get nothing but geologic mayhem: meteorites, magma, acid rain. Life won’t begin until your bicep, and from there to your wrist it’s all single-celled, oceangoing stuff. Reproductive sex won’t show up until your wristwatch, and creatures that are finally big enough to see—tubes and fronds and weird Precambrian plant-animals—will crisscross the back of your hand.

Actually, I'm still confused. But I eat at Chipotle about four times a week, and I am excited they've added dinosaurs and sex to the good music and tasty food. Read the rest

David Cameron promises law to force ISPs to censor a secret blacklist

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The UK Prime Minister has doubled down on his Great Firewall of Cameron, which is an arrangement whereby the UK ISPs "voluntarily" agreed to block websites that had been secretly ruled to be pornographic, unless customers specifically asked them not tp. Read the rest

German condom maker in trouble with the law over “21 orgasms” claim

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The playful condom company Einhorn is in trouble with the law over their claim that a packet of seven rubbers “corresponds to up to 21 orgasms.” Read the rest

The one thing a man should never say to a woman in bed

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Actually, there are a lot of things men shouldn’t say to women in bed. But it’s this innocent-sounding statement that wounds us most:

“That’s never happened before.”

Sooner or later, “it” – erectile dysfunction – happens to pretty much every sexually active male on the planet. For one reason or another, you just aren’t feeling it.

If erectile dysfunction is long-term, it’s time to see a doctor. But short-term erectile dysfunction (short-term ED), while potentially embarrassing, isn’t serious. In fact, it is considered normal for a man to have trouble getting or maintaining an erection as much as 20 percent of the time.

Numerous factors can lead to short-term ED, including stress, anxiety, fatigue, alcohol or medications.

But still… you’re embarrassed. You don’t want your partner to think she’s chosen a lemon. So you say those four or five innocent-sounding little words: “That’s never happened before.”

Only here’s what we hear:

“I’ve been able to get it up for every other woman I’ve been with. You’re the first woman I haven’t been able to perform with.”

In other words, it’s us, not you.

Even if it is, however, we don’t need to hear it. Telling us just makes you a total dick.

So, how can you express to us what’s going on in way that lets us know it’s not something we did, or worse, who we are?

The key is to examine the situation honestly and try to determine what’s going on.

Are you tired, stressed or anxious? We understand that. Read the rest

Update on the orgasm-inducing Hawaiian mushroom

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A few readers have expressed doubt about the orgasm-inducing mushroom I mentioned yesterday. It was in reference to an article titled, "Spontaneous Female Orgasms Triggered by the Smell of a Newly Found Tropical Dictyophora Desv. Species," which appeared in the International Journal of Medicinal Mushrooms (Vol 3. p. 162, 2001)

Here's a link to the PDF of the article. The article, written by John C. Holliday and Noah Soule of Next Laboratories and Aloha Medicinals in Hawaii says:

...there are significant sexual arousal characteristics present in the fetid odor of this unique mushroom. Indeed, nearly half of the female test subjects experienced spontaneous orgasms while smelling this mushroom.

None of our readers have, as far as I know, sniffed the mushroom, but they do know their way around Snopes, and they have kindly provided a link to the site's page, which says the mushroom's orgasmic power is UNPROVEN:

Our research did not turn up any other scientific studies about this orgasm-inducing and unnamed Dictyophora species, and the one extant study is itself a bit flimsy. Halliday and Soule conducted a “smell test” in 2001 involving 16 women and 20 men. Six women reportedly experienced spontaneous (but not “earth-shattering”) orgasms while smelling the fungus, and the other 10 (who received smaller doses) experienced an increase in heart rate. What caused the spontaneous orgasms? Halliday speculated that the fetid odor of the mushrooms may have had “hormonelike compounds present” that had some “similarity to human neurotransmitters released during sexual encounters.”

While Halliday’s study is certainly intriguing, it’s somewhat short of representing a rigorous scientific standard: it’s a single, decade-old study that was conducted with a very small sample group and published in a minor journal, one which has not since been replicated or vetted by other researchers in the scientific community.

Read the rest

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