Boing Boing 

Father unhappy about middle-school sex-ed poster

Matthew says: "A father in Kansas is outraged by a middle school sex-ed poster which lists ‘anal sex,’ and ‘sexual fantasy.'"

Space alien sex art: excerpt from Strange Attractors

Strange Attractors includes the work of 70 artists, writers and filmmakers who have created remarkable explorations of possible extraterrestrial life forms and their multifarious sexual desires.

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Mercury Waltz, a sequel to Kathe Koja's Under the Poppy

It's been nearly four years since Kathe Koja's amazing novel "Under the Poppy" was published, plunging readers into a dark world of eros, war, and puppetry (seriously). Koja is a chameleon of a writer, whose career began with grotesque, lascivious, splatterpunk horror novels like The Cipher, then transitioned into spare, quietly brilliant YA novels like Buddha Boy, and then emerged in the entirely indescribable territory of Under the Poppy, to which she has now returned with a new novel called The Mercury Waltz.

Koja stopped in at John Scalzi's blog Whatever for an online interview about the book:

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Copyright troll dodging disbarment by resigning from the bar?

John Steele is the colorful copyright troll whose work in shaking down people by threatening to link their names to gay porn with spurious lawsuits has been augmented by a series of bizarre legal maneuvers, including allegedly stealing his caretaker's identity in order to create a disposable buffer between Steele and his operation.

But he's got a new wheeze that takes the cake:

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Odd, bilious guts (and porny donuts)


Scott Teplin posted Bile to the Boing Boing Flickr Group, along with a link to his wonderful series of watercolors called Future Trash, full of wolvertonian, anatomical oddments. This is my kind of grotesque! He also has a nice line of porny donuts [NSFD].

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Flowers From Al, written with Charles Stross (conclusion)

Here's the second, concluding part of my reading of my 2003 short story "Flowers From Al," written with Charlie Stross for New Voices in Science Fiction, a Mike Resnick anthology (Here's part one). It's a pervy, weird story of transhuman romance.

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Theory of dick pic excellence

Madeleine Holden maintains Critique My Dick Pic [NSFW], a site where she offers to "critique your dick pics with love." After a season of looking at photos of strangers' penises, she has come up with a set of handy tips [NSFW] for people with penises who want to take photos of same.

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Human penis-shape and sperm competition

In The human penis as a semen displacement device, a 2003 paper published in Evolution and Human Behavior, a group of SUNY Albany psych researchers investigated the shape of the human penis to discover whether it could aid in "sperm competition," driving sperm out of the vagina prior to its own deposit -- something already observed in damselflies.

They devised an ingenious experiment.

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Flowers from Al: pervy singularity collaboration with Stross

Here's part one (MP3) of my 2003 short story "Flowers From Al," written with Charlie Stross for New Voices in Science Fiction, a Mike Resnick anthology. It's a pervy, weird story of transhuman romance.

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Can a penis really get stuck in a vagina?

For once, the answer to a question in the headline is, "Well, quite possibly."

It's been 100 years since a well-documented case of penis captivus — i.e., penis-stuck-in-vagina syndrome — appeared in the medical literature. But that doesn't mean it's a total myth. The BBC's Health Check discusses the physiological mechanisms that could lead to such an unpleasant event and explains why there are lots of anecdotal stories surrounding something that's thought to be "vanishingly rare" from a medical perspective. Hint: While very, very, very few people end up needing medical treatment for penis captivus, there may be many more who get temporarily-but-disconcertingly stuck for a few seconds.

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Fashion Beast: long-lost, Watchmen-era Alan Moore/Malcolm McLaren comic


Fashion Beast was a ten-issue comic created by Alan Moore and Malcolm McLaren -- the impresario behind the Sex Pistols, who "invented Punk as a Situationist prank." The project began as a screenplay written at the time that Moore was writing Watchmen, and was never produced. Thirty years later, Moore Antony Johnston re-adapted the work for comics, and last September all ten issues were collected in an amazing graphic novel, which I have just inhaled.

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Bob Basset's Streamline Moto Mask


Bob Basset, my favorite Ukrainian fetish/steampunk leather-mask-maker (admittedly, not a very wide field!) celebrated Christmas by posting this great "Streamline Moto Mask" with removable mouth-guard and goggles. Happy Christmas Sergei, and here's hoping you and your loved ones are safe in this time of upheaval in Ukraine.

Streamline Moto Mask. Art leather.

Sea-slug sex-life: love among forehead-penetrating, fork-penised hermaphrodites

Forget sea-slugs with detachable pensises: the Siphopteron species 1, recently discovered by the University of Tubigen's Rolanda Lange, has the most awesomely weird sex-life of any sea-slug heretofore known to sea-slug perverts.

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Queen Elizabeth pardons Turing (but not the 50,000 other gay men the law unjustly criminalised)


Alan Turing has received a pardon under the "Royal Prerogative of Mercy by the Queen," 61 years after he was "chemically castrated" by court order as punishment for homosexuality. Less than two years of forced hormone treatments drove him to suicide at the age of 41. The pardon came at the request of the government's justice secretary. It's a wonderful vindication of Turing.

But I agree with Turing's biographer Dr Andrew Hodges, who says that the idea of a pardon for Turing establishes the principal that "a sufficiently valuable individual should be above the law which applies to everyone else." In my view, the Queen should have pardoned every man and woman persecuted under the cruel and unjust law that ruined so many lives.

But I'll take Turing. For now. And if Stephen Fry gets his wish and we get Turing on a bank note, I'll frame one and hang it in my office.

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Mother of three boys' funny review for Kleenex multipacks

A very funny Amazon review for multipacks of Kleenex is allegedly "A mother's struggle," describing the travails of living with three teenage boys who've discovered the miracle of self-pleasuring ("If I don't supply absorbent paper products, I'm going to find my dish towels hidden in the basement, stiff as aluminum. The other day, I almost cut my hand on a sock"). However, the "mother" who wrote the review is called "James Otis Thatch," so, possibly, too good to be true. But funny!

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Man convicted of urinating on hotel carpet while shouting racist abuse, while masturbating with a fire-extinguisher hose up his ass

Sometimes the headlines just write themselves: "Premier Inn guest hurled racist abuse with fire extinguisher hose up his bottom" being a case in point. The sordid tale involves Joseph Small of Sheffield, who checked into a Premier Inn in London while in town to buy a used car. A clerk saw him naked in a hotel corridor on the CCTV camera; when he went to investigate, he found Small holding a fire-extinguisher, whose hose Small then stuck up his bum, while fondling himself and shouting "This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan" at the clerk. The clerk is of Bangladeshi origin. Mr Small later urinated on the lobby carpet while shouting "I'm from Sheffield!"

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How an infuriated mom chased revenge-porn slime-king Hunter Moore offline

In a long and moving account of an annus horribilis to rival the worst of them, Charlotte Laws explains how she waged war on Hunter Moore, the founder of the defunct "revenge-porn" site Is Anyone Up? Laws became involved when her daughter's email was hacked and a photo that revealed her breast ended up on Moore's site. Laws is at pains to explain that a very large slice of "revenge porn" does not originate with bitter ex-boyfriends. A large proportion of the material is "frankensteined" porn in which a woman's face is shooped onto the naked body of a porn star, and another slice comes from hacked personal accounts, like Laws's daughter's.

Laws braved brutal harassment and death threats as she painstakingly built a network of Moore's victims, who attacked him online -- watching for him to resurface on Facebook, where he'd been banned, waiting until he'd built a thousand followers, then getting him kicked off; complaining to his service providers, and aiding victims in using takedown notices to get their photos removed -- and offline. Laws chased law enforcement agencies at the local and national level, doggedly continuing until she spurred an FBI investigation that ultimately brought the site down (Moore's prosecution is pending).

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You Are Not So Smart podcast 012: The Dangerous Passion of Jealousy:


Why do human beings experience jealousy, what is its function, and what are the warning signs that signal this powerful emotion may lead to violence?

Once reserved for the contemplation of poets and playwrights, jealousy is now the subject of intense scientific scrutiny. "Mate poachers abound," explains this week's guest, psychologist David Buss, who says that his research supports his hypothesis that human jealousy is an adaptation forged by evolutionary forces to deal with the problems of infidelity. Moderate jealousy, he says, is healthy and signals commitment, but there is a dark and corrosive side as well that follows a clear, predictable pattern before it destroys lives.

David Buss is a professor of psychology who studies human mating at The University of Texas at Austin. He is the author of The Evolution Of Desire: Strategies Of Human Mating, The Dangerous Passion: Why Jealousy Is As Necessary As Love and Sex, The Murderer Next Door: Why the Mind Is Designed to Kill, and Why Women Have Sex: Understanding Sexual Motivations from Adventure to Revenge. You can learn more about him and his work at DavidBuss.com.

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Rob Ford's cunnilingus quip: Taiwanese news animation edition

News of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford's official cunnilingus policy has reached the Taiwanese news video animation people, and they've risen to the occasion with predictable insanity. The mayor-on-beaver moments are really the best here, I think.

Genitals: More useful than you think

"5 Unexpected Ways Animals Use Their Genitals". There's really not much more to be said about that.

Rob Ford articulates official mayoral cunnilingus policy

Here's Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford responding to yesterday's release of the partially redacted police file. After stating his intent to take legal action against a host of current and former staffers, wait staff at a restaurant, and many others, he addresses the allegation that he "wanted to eat [Olivia Gondek's] pussy."

The mayor stated, for the record: "I would never do that. I'm happily married. I've got more than enough to eat at home."

Rob Ford will (ahem) go down in history with this quote

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's less-censored police file: criminality, abuse, and intoxication


Photo: Reuters

Toronto police have released a "less censored" version of their report on Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford, and Toronto Star reporter (@jpags) has been tweeting the highlights of the (unproven) police allegations as she goes. I've embedded some of the most significant ones below. A lot of material deals with the mayor's public intoxication and his appearances at work-related events (and at City Hall) where he was too intoxicated to function. On one occasion, he is accused of bringing two prostitutes to city hall. He is said to have been high on oxycontin on another occasion.

Another major theme is the mayor's abuse of his employees: getting them to buy booze for him, driving them at high speeds while intoxicated (one staffer saw him drink an entire pint of vodka before getting behind the wheel), verbally abusing them, getting them to run personal errands for him, calling them in tears, drunk and distraught. He made one staffer write a letter of support for bagman Andrew Lisi, charged with uttering death threats, which the mayor submitted.

Then there's the shadowy, underworldy-type things. His bagman, Sandro Lisi (charged with uttering death threats, selling drugs, and extortion) is said to have offered drugs to unknown persons for the return of the mayor's stolen phone. And when the mayor allegedly snorted cocaine with an unknown woman at the Biermarkt restaurant, a staffer demanded that the waitress give her name and told her "Don't tell anyone about what you saw here tonight."

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Anglerfish: "the absolute worst sex on Earth"

Matt Simon on the sex lives of anglerfish: "If the deep-sea anglerfish happened to have the cognitive and physical capabilities required to produce its own [teen movies], there’d be decidedly fewer plot twists. Every single movie would go a little something like this: Boy meets girl, boy bites girl, boy’s mouth fuses to girl’s body, boy lives the rest of his life attached to girl sharing her blood and supplying her with sperm. Ah, a tale as old as time."

Sex on synaesthesia

What is sex like for synaesthetes? Synaesthesia is a fascinatingly strange neurological condition in which two ore more senses are linked so that someone, for example, might "taste" sounds or "hear" colors. Emotional synaestesia is when pleasurable feelings may trigger the individual to see certain colors or have other sensations. Researchers from Harvard Medical School, Hannover Medical School, and University Bremen studied a group of emotional synaesthetes to gain insight into their sexual experiences. Below is a table from the scientific report revealing the subjects' experiences during different phases of the human sexual response cycle, such as: "In the moment of orgasm the wall bursts… ringlike structures… in bluish-violet tones." Far fucking out!

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How crocodiles have sex

A couple of weeks ago, I posted a link to a research paper on crocodile genitalia, which included a really helpful diagram showing how the male crocs' penis works as part of an all-purpose mating/elimination hole called a cloaca. Now, with the help of reader Eirik Lande, you can see what those genitals look like in, er, action. The above photo is part of a series of shots Lande took of a 661-pound Nile crocodile named Samson (and an unnamed/weighed female partner) as they did what comes naturally in a tank at Bergen, Norway's, Akvariet zoo.

For clarification, that's the female on top in this shot, but they started out in a different position. In Lande's photos you can see the two crocodiles flip, with the help of a "death roll" style move near the end of their mating. That photo is a bit more explicit, but gives you a fairly clear view of what it looks like when Samson shoves his genitals out of his cloaca.

Free vibrators for non-essential federal employees

Spocko sez, "It's nice to know that some companies understand that non-essential federal employees are people too, with needs and wants and not robots that can be shut off with a switch. Thankfully Vibrators.com understands and is giving away free vibrators to Federal Employees during the government shutdown. They are giving away 200 a day. Simply enter the coupon code. 'IAmAFederalEmployee'"

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Don't Lick My Toes: raunchy, hilarious cabaret

Vancouver's Wet Spots perform the funniest, raunchiest cabaret I've heard -- side-splittingly so. Check out the video for "Don't Lick My Toes" above, or get their album Hello Kinky for nine bucks, cheap.

Update: Turns out I had a video of a cover of the song!

Rsreagan writes, "Hi Cory! I love that you linked to the Wet Spots, who are great and also personal friends of mine. But that video is not a video of them performing. Since their patter, acting, and presentation are such a wonderful part of their work, I think that it would be great to link to an actual performance of theirs: here's the least graphic of the songs posted to their YouTube channel, Texas Annie. They don't have a video of "Toes" up, sadly, but you can hear Cass singing it here.

Hello Kinky (Thanks, Sooj!)

Arse Elektronika: sex and tech in San Francisco


Johannes from Monochrom writes, "Hard to believe, but Arse Elektronika is in its 7th year! The annual festival about sex and technology will start Thursday in San Francisco - with talks, machines, games, workshops and performances!"

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How to: Sex your crocodile

Can you properly distinguish between a male and female crocodile? This research paper, published in 2007, will help — pointing out the sometimes subtle differences between external genitalia. It's chock full of pictures of erect crocodile penises, so you'll learn what those look like, but what particularly interested me was the diagram above.

Cloacas are sort of multi-purpose orifices found in certain species of birds and reptiles. Instead of having separate biological tools for poop, pee, and sex, these animals manage all three functions with the same hole. Males also have cloacas and will either have a penis or pseudo-penis that comes out of it for mating. I've known this for a long time, but had a lot of trouble picturing how all of that anatomy fits together. This diagram (Figure 4 in the paper) is the first image that made the internal structure of cloacas really make sense to me. The more you know!

How Miss Teen USA's sextortionist got caught

This week, the FBI arrested a 19-year-old computer science student named Jared James Abrahams for tricking young women into installing malicious software on their computers, software that let him covertly operate their webcams and microphones, as well as capturing their keystrokes and plundering their hard-drives. Abrahams captured nude photos of his victims, then threatened to release them to the victims' social media accounts unless they performed live, on-camera sex-acts for him. At least one of his victims was a minor. Another of his victims was Miss Teen USA Cassidy Wolf, who turned him into the FBI.

Ars Technica's Nate Anderson has a spellbinding account of Abrahams's crimes, and the way that the FBI tracked him down, and he places Abrahams in the larger context of "RATers" (crooks who operate Remote Access Trojans -- the kind of malware used by Abrahams). This phenomenon is also the subject of one of the chapters in Anderson's excellent book The Internet Police: How Crime Went Online, and the Cops Followed, and few journalists are better qualified to write about the subject.

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