I have heard many of these lines, myself. Jenny Saldaña (Facebook | Web | Twitter) is a Dominican actor/writer/producer/speaker who is surviving breast cancer with a fierce sense of humor intact. In the video above, she re-enacts some of the many unfortunate things that presumably well-meaning women have said to her, during her experience with the disease. There's a cool interview with here here, from a few years back. Her new project is here. Jenny, you're awesome.
(via @gillyarcht, who is also a survivor, and also awesome)