What do Charles Manson and O.J. Simpson have in common? Both plan to come back from the dead, according to this week's fact-challenged tabloids.
Mass killer Manson is "using voodoo to live again and get revenge" claims the 'Globe.' Inspired by allegations that Manson has been sticking pins in voodoo dolls of his enemies, the 'Globe' alleges that "Manson's most chilling plan is to use voodoo to turn himself into a zombie, a walking dead man, after his demise, so he could continue taking revenge on the world!"
O.J. Simpson evidently plans a more exulted route to life after incarceration. "Tell them to expect me like they're expecting Jesus to come back - because I'm coming," reports the 'National Enquirer.'
One thing is certain: If both men get to walk the Earth again it won't be long before Ryan Seacrest Productions combines them for one hell of a reality TV show. Or maybe 'Lifestyles of the Undead & Famous?'
I really need to tell any tabloid Editors out there: This word "Exclusive" - You keep using that word. It does not mean what you think it means.
Just look at that blurred, fuzzy photo purporting to be Charles Manson in a hospital bed, beneath the headline "Another Enquirer Exclusive - The Photo That No Other Publication In The World Could Get!"
It's not such a singular sensation when the 'Globe' publishes the same photo on its cover, beneath the headline "World Exclusive."
Or how about the 'Globe' offering its "Exclusive Interview & Photos" of actress Shelley Duvall living in what appears to be reduced circumstances on a ranch in Texas? Read the rest