More news of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's disastrous car-wreck of a life. After swearing off drugs and alcohol
(and insisting that he didn't have a problem with either), he's not only been getting so loaded that he finds himself transformed into the lead in a terrible one-man amateur production of "The Harder They Come"
; he also was allegedly so drunk after a family funeral in Vancouver that a cop gave him a ticket for public drunkenness and jaywalking
. You'd think a man devoted to ending the "war on cars"
would be more deferential to their place in the road.
Ford claims he wasn't ticketed for public intoxication, and that all he'd drunk was a "diet Coke."
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Here's this week's unidentified bit of net.clever seeking reidentification: a photoshopped Gilligan's Island image with Justin Beiber as Gilligan and Toronto's crack-smoking, Bieber-defending mayor Rob Ford as the Skipper -- found in Steve Silberman's Twitter stream. Do you know who made it? Weigh in in the comments and I'll add attribution to the post.
$8 gets you six of SScotty 2 Naughty's Valentines cards themed for Toronto's crack-smoking, drunk-driving, thug-beatdown-commissioning lout of a mayor, Rob Ford. They sport slogans like "I must have been in one of my drunken stupors when I fell for you" and "I refuse to resign my love for you." Genius! And romantic.
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Andy Forest from Makerkids, a Toronto makerspace for kids, writes, "Together, Kids Learning Code, MakerKids, TIFF and the Toronto Public Library have just finished developing 7 comprehensive maker curriculum modules for libraries, schools and other organizations who want to get kids started being Makers. The Mozilla Hive Network Toronto provided funding support.
The modules are designed for a non-technical audience and contain all the information needed to teach these topics:"
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Here's a new turn in the saga of Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford, the mayor of Toronto: a lawsuit alleges
that he had a couple of his former football team proteges beat six kind of hell out of his estranged brother-in-law in jail. The brother-in-law is suing Ford, saying that when he was in jail, a couple of Ford's former players broke his leg and shattered his teeth as a warning to stay silent about the mayor's drug problem.
A video of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford drunk and bellowing obscenities in a jafaican accent has surfaced. Ford, a luminously white and privileged man who was born into millions in a quiet suburb of Toronto, affects an embarrassing West Indian accent as he thunders to a captive audience at a west-end steak joint.
The subject of his rant was Toronto police chief Bill Blair, who instigated the long-running investigation into Ford's association with drug-dealers and gangsters, and which surfaced evidence that the mayor had smoked crack, driven drunk, and lied to the public and to council. In the video, Ford calls Blair "Cocksucking fucking Chief Blair."
He also says "bumbaclot." A lot.
When the scandal broke, Ford admitted to his drug use and swore he'd gone sober. But he told reporters who questioned him about this video that he was drunk, and that the events depicted in it were his "my personal life, with my personal friends, that's up to me. This really has nothing to do with you guys."
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Toronto's free alternative weekly newspaper Now Magazine commissioned Ralph Steadman to draw Mayor Rob Ford for this week's cover. It's a great choice for a political year that was marked by so much fear and loathing (and an abundance of drugs). The issue also features Rob Ford's 50 stupidest quotes of 2013 (let us take a moment to admire the restraint of the Now staff in limiting themselves to a mere 50 here).
Just when you thought Toronto Mayor Rob Ford couldn't sink any lower, he implied that a Toronto Star reporter was a pedophile
. The reporter he targeted is a particular thorn in the mayor's side, having gone to the mayor's house to investigate an adjacent property that he'd pulled strings to buy.
Another tranche of police documents on Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has been released [474 page (!) PDF]. Despite the mayor's insistence that all of his secrets were now out in the open and he had nothing more to hide, the new materials contain several bombshells, including allegations of heroin use, bribing crooks with marijuana, and lying about the infamous crack video.
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Barry Layne Moore, erstwhile mayor of Hampton, Florida, has been arrested for possessing and selling Oxycodone. Upon arresting him, Bradford County Sheriff Gordon Smith quipped:
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Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has distinguished himself again, becoming the first mayor in Toronto history to be the punchline of a New Yorker cartoon. In Paul Noth's cartoon, two fellows at a bar watch Ford on a TV, and one says to the other, "Finally, a politician with the courage to take on Big Sanity." Though, (as Accordion Guy points out), you can always just caption it, "Christ, what an asshole."
Of the many parody videos poking fun at this epic Volvo ad, I believe this one poking fun at Rob Ford by NYC-based visual effects firm Artjail VFX may be the best. [Video Link, HT: @peteyreplies].
Rick Mercer has an answer
: there are people in Toronto who would vote for a gerbil if it promised to lower their taxes by a dollar. (via Accordion Guy
News of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford's official cunnilingus policy has reached the Taiwanese news video animation people, and they've risen to the occasion with predictable insanity. The mayor-on-beaver moments are really the best here, I think.
As the career of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford continues to circle the drain, he's circling the wagons. He's offered all of his staffers $5,000 taxpayer-funded raises to stay on. For a guy who got into office claiming he'd "end the gravy train," the guy sure is a one-man gravy train -- he's also promised to use taxpayer dollars to fight the motions in council that stripped him of his powers.
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Chris from the CBC sez, "CBC Radio's Day 6 enlisted Topher Mokrzewski of the Canadian Opera Company to write and arrange an operatic aria sung from the perspective of Mayor Rob Ford, adapted from Bizet's Carmen. Comes with a video gallery of great Ford photos."
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Toronto City Council has voted to strip Mayor Rob Ford of his powers
, many of which were only recently delegated to the mayor's office. Hizzoner Laughable Bumblefuck has vowed to use tax-dollars to sue council over this move, because that is how he rolls.
According to the Ontario government's "sunshine list", Rob Ford earns about $170,000 to serve as mayor of Toronto. According to his staffers, he often shows up for work at 11 and leaves at 3. That's the man who came into office promising to "end the gravy train," folks.
One thing to remember during this whole Toronto mayoral kerfuffle
Here's Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford responding to yesterday's release of the partially redacted police file. After stating his intent to take legal action against a host of current and former staffers, wait staff at a restaurant, and many others, he addresses the allegation that he "wanted to eat [Olivia Gondek's] pussy."
The mayor stated, for the record: "I would never do that. I'm happily married. I've got more than enough to eat at home."
Rob Ford will (ahem) go down in history with this quote
Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford has refused to resign or even take a leave of absence, despite having admitted to smoking crack, despite a police report that has him driving drunk, snorting coke with a prostitute in a restaurant, abusing his staff, and using City letterhead to write a reference letter pleading for clemency in the sentencing of a man charged with uttering death threats, selling drugs, and extortion.
Council lacks the power to remove Ford, and until he is charged with a crime, he can remain in office. Now, according to Robin Doolittle from the Toronto Star, the Toronto City Council is now turning their backs every time he stands to speak.
(via Accordion Guy)
Toronto police have released a "less censored" version of their report on Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford, and Toronto Star reporter (@jpags) has been tweeting the highlights of the (unproven) police allegations as she goes. I've embedded some of the most significant ones below. A lot of material deals with the mayor's public intoxication and his appearances at work-related events (and at City Hall) where he was too intoxicated to function. On one occasion, he is accused of bringing two prostitutes to city hall. He is said to have been high on oxycontin on another occasion.
Another major theme is the mayor's abuse of his employees: getting them to buy booze for him, driving them at high speeds while intoxicated (one staffer saw him drink an entire pint of vodka before getting behind the wheel), verbally abusing them, getting them to run personal errands for him, calling them in tears, drunk and distraught. He made one staffer write a letter of support for bagman Andrew Lisi, charged with uttering death threats, which the mayor submitted.
Then there's the shadowy, underworldy-type things. His bagman, Sandro Lisi (charged with uttering death threats, selling drugs, and extortion) is said to have offered drugs to unknown persons for the return of the mayor's stolen phone. And when the mayor allegedly snorted cocaine with an unknown woman at the Biermarkt restaurant, a staffer demanded that the waitress give her name and told her "Don't tell anyone about what you saw here tonight."
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Toronto mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford is back in council for the first time he admitted that he smoked crack (though he insists he's not a "crack smoker"). He's refused to step aside and repudiated his lawyer's suggestion that he was going into rehab. Meanwhile, the trial of Sandro Lisi proceeds apace -- the mayor's friend/fixer/driver/muscle, up on drug dealing and extortion charges -- and the video evidence that the mayor arranged wordless package handovers with Lisi in parking lots and parks and public toilets is on everyone's mind. Rob Ford has always made a big deal about saving the taxpayer money by refusing a driver (it was his excuse when he was caught reading while driving on the highway), but he clearly also didn't have a driver because it would have interfered with crack smoking, drunken stupors, and covert meetings with drug dealers.
But say what you will about the mayor -- and there's a lot to say, for example, his claims of saving money are BS -- he certainly has comedic timing. Check out the pregnant pause in council after he's asked whether he's bought illegal drugs. Comedy genius!
Rob Ford admits to City Council that he purchased drugs
Jim Munroe sez, "The first WordPlay Festival of Writerly Games is happening at the majestic Toronto Reference Library on Sat. Nov. 16 for International Games at Your Library Day. It has an in-discussion-with interview with the Chicago-based Kentucky Route Zero game makers, a workshop led by Christine Love for making your own interactive fiction, and a panel on book/game intersections featuring Hamlet CYOA author and webcomics impresario Ryan North and Hugo award winner Peter Watts. It even features a world premiere delivered by Oculus Rift!"
Curl up with a good game.
Rob Ford claims that he should be excused for his crack-fuelled, drunken rages while serving as mayor of Toronto, because of the billion dollars he's saved the city. But as a line-by-line analysis of Laughable Bumblefuck's fiscal claims demonstrates, he's just another politician, cooking the books.
DJ Steve Porter's "Rob Crack Remix" gives us some rare, autotuned insight into old Laughable Bumblefuck's state of mind and the philosophy that has dictated his mayoral term in Toronto.
DJ Steve Porter - Rob Ford Crack Remix
WashPo's Max Fisher reports on Toronto's crack-smoking Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford, using the conventions of the western press when it reports on poor countries. Here's part of the lede: "In a country where dissent is limited by traditional mores, the transgression has sparked rare public outrage and raised concerns about the stability of the Canadian regime."
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A new video of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford has surfaced. For a change, the mayor is not smoking crack in this video. Instead, he's incredibly drunk, and vowing to graphically murder his critics, while swearing in a way that is surprising for its creativity and imaginativeness, if not its sobriety.
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Next Media Animation -- the crazy Taiwanese news video people -- have revisited the Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford crack-smoking scandal (here's the previous one). This time, it's the news that Ford's polls are up on his admission that he smoked crack.
Rob Ford crack admission raises popularity! Toronto is crazy
As the story of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford continues to unravel, everyone's pulling out their dirt on old Mayor Laughable Bumblefuck. Vice has a detailed email chain
between Ford's communications director and a hacker for hire who was allegedly hired to delete the video of Hizzoner smoking crack and making racist and homophobic remarks from a cloud storage provider that may have belonged to a local gang, who were allegedly blackmailing him.
It seems there is no end to Toronto mayor Rob Ford's spectacular spiral of shame, corruption, and bad behavior. Today, in the Toronto Star, an almost TMZian headline, legitimate, straight-faced, and justified: "Did Rob Ford pay utility bills for a crack house?