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Rob Ford sued for jailhouse beating of his ex-brother-in-law

Here's a new turn in the saga of Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford, the mayor of Toronto: a lawsuit alleges that he had a couple of his former football team proteges beat six kind of hell out of his estranged brother-in-law in jail. The brother-in-law is suing Ford, saying that when he was in jail, a couple of Ford's former players broke his leg and shattered his teeth as a warning to stay silent about the mayor's drug problem. Cory 30

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford curses in a jafaican accent when he's loaded

A video of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford drunk and bellowing obscenities in a jafaican accent has surfaced. Ford, a luminously white and privileged man who was born into millions in a quiet suburb of Toronto, affects an embarrassing West Indian accent as he thunders to a captive audience at a west-end steak joint.

The subject of his rant was Toronto police chief Bill Blair, who instigated the long-running investigation into Ford's association with drug-dealers and gangsters, and which surfaced evidence that the mayor had smoked crack, driven drunk, and lied to the public and to council. In the video, Ford calls Blair "Cocksucking fucking Chief Blair."

He also says "bumbaclot." A lot.

When the scandal broke, Ford admitted to his drug use and swore he'd gone sober. But he told reporters who questioned him about this video that he was drunk, and that the events depicted in it were his "my personal life, with my personal friends, that's up to me. This really has nothing to do with you guys."

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Ralph Steadman draws Rob Ford for the cover of this week's Now Magazine


Toronto's free alternative weekly newspaper Now Magazine commissioned Ralph Steadman to draw Mayor Rob Ford for this week's cover. It's a great choice for a political year that was marked by so much fear and loathing (and an abundance of drugs). The issue also features Rob Ford's 50 stupidest quotes of 2013 (let us take a moment to admire the restraint of the Now staff in limiting themselves to a mere 50 here).

Rob Ford implies journalist is a pedophile

Just when you thought Toronto Mayor Rob Ford couldn't sink any lower, he implied that a Toronto Star reporter was a pedophile. The reporter he targeted is a particular thorn in the mayor's side, having gone to the mayor's house to investigate an adjacent property that he'd pulled strings to buy. Cory 32

Rob Ford police document: allegations of heroin use and more


Another tranche of police documents on Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has been released [474 page (!) PDF]. Despite the mayor's insistence that all of his secrets were now out in the open and he had nothing more to hide, the new materials contain several bombshells, including allegations of heroin use, bribing crooks with marijuana, and lying about the infamous crack video.

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Florida sheriff arrests mayor on drug charges: "This isn't Toronto"

Barry Layne Moore, erstwhile mayor of Hampton, Florida, has been arrested for possessing and selling Oxycodone. Upon arresting him, Bradford County Sheriff Gordon Smith quipped:

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Rob Ford gets a New Yorker cartoon

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has distinguished himself again, becoming the first mayor in Toronto history to be the punchline of a New Yorker cartoon. In Paul Noth's cartoon, two fellows at a bar watch Ford on a TV, and one says to the other, "Finally, a politician with the courage to take on Big Sanity." Though, (as Accordion Guy points out), you can always just caption it, "Christ, what an asshole."

The Rob Ford Jean-Claude Van Damme Volvo Splits Parody video you've been waiting for

Of the many parody videos poking fun at this epic Volvo ad, I believe this one poking fun at Rob Ford by NYC-based visual effects firm Artjail VFX may be the best. [Video Link, HT: @peteyreplies].

Wondering why Toronto's suburbanites keep on supporting Rob Ford?

Rick Mercer has an answer: there are people in Toronto who would vote for a gerbil if it promised to lower their taxes by a dollar. (via Accordion Guy) Cory 36

Rob Ford's cunnilingus quip: Taiwanese news animation edition

News of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford's official cunnilingus policy has reached the Taiwanese news video animation people, and they've risen to the occasion with predictable insanity. The mayor-on-beaver moments are really the best here, I think.

Rob Ford gives staff $5,000 taxpayer dollars each to stay on

As the career of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford continues to circle the drain, he's circling the wagons. He's offered all of his staffers $5,000 taxpayer-funded raises to stay on. For a guy who got into office claiming he'd "end the gravy train," the guy sure is a one-man gravy train -- he's also promised to use taxpayer dollars to fight the motions in council that stripped him of his powers.

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Rob Ford, the opera

Chris from the CBC sez, "CBC Radio's Day 6 enlisted Topher Mokrzewski of the Canadian Opera Company to write and arrange an operatic aria sung from the perspective of Mayor Rob Ford, adapted from Bizet's Carmen. Comes with a video gallery of great Ford photos."

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Rob Ford stripped of powers

Toronto City Council has voted to strip Mayor Rob Ford of his powers, many of which were only recently delegated to the mayor's office. Hizzoner Laughable Bumblefuck has vowed to use tax-dollars to sue council over this move, because that is how he rolls. Cory 34

Rob Ford: $170K/year, 11-3 working day


According to the Ontario government's "sunshine list", Rob Ford earns about $170,000 to serve as mayor of Toronto. According to his staffers, he often shows up for work at 11 and leaves at 3. That's the man who came into office promising to "end the gravy train," folks.

One thing to remember during this whole Toronto mayoral kerfuffle

Rob Ford articulates official mayoral cunnilingus policy

Here's Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford responding to yesterday's release of the partially redacted police file. After stating his intent to take legal action against a host of current and former staffers, wait staff at a restaurant, and many others, he addresses the allegation that he "wanted to eat [Olivia Gondek's] pussy."

The mayor stated, for the record: "I would never do that. I'm happily married. I've got more than enough to eat at home."

Rob Ford will (ahem) go down in history with this quote