Rob Ford police document: allegations of heroin use and more


Another tranche of police documents on Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has been released [474 page (!) PDF]. Despite the mayor's insistence that all of his secrets were now out in the open and he had nothing more to hide, the new materials contain several bombshells, including allegations of heroin use, bribing crooks with marijuana, and lying about the infamous crack video.

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Florida sheriff arrests mayor on drug charges: "This isn't Toronto"

Barry Layne Moore, erstwhile mayor of Hampton, Florida, has been arrested for possessing and selling Oxycodone. Upon arresting him, Bradford County Sheriff Gordon Smith quipped:

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Rob Ford gets a New Yorker cartoon

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford has distinguished himself again, becoming the first mayor in Toronto history to be the punchline of a New Yorker cartoon. In Paul Noth's cartoon, two fellows at a bar watch Ford on a TV, and one says to the other, "Finally, a politician with the courage to take on Big Sanity." Though, (as Accordion Guy points out), you can always just caption it, "Christ, what an asshole."

The Rob Ford Jean-Claude Van Damme Volvo Splits Parody video you've been waiting for

Of the many parody videos poking fun at this epic Volvo ad, I believe this one poking fun at Rob Ford by NYC-based visual effects firm Artjail VFX may be the best. [Video Link, HT: @peteyreplies].

Wondering why Toronto's suburbanites keep on supporting Rob Ford?

Rick Mercer has an answer: there are people in Toronto who would vote for a gerbil if it promised to lower their taxes by a dollar. (via Accordion Guy) Cory 36

Rob Ford's cunnilingus quip: Taiwanese news animation edition

News of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford's official cunnilingus policy has reached the Taiwanese news video animation people, and they've risen to the occasion with predictable insanity. The mayor-on-beaver moments are really the best here, I think.

Rob Ford gives staff $5,000 taxpayer dollars each to stay on

As the career of Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford continues to circle the drain, he's circling the wagons. He's offered all of his staffers $5,000 taxpayer-funded raises to stay on. For a guy who got into office claiming he'd "end the gravy train," the guy sure is a one-man gravy train -- he's also promised to use taxpayer dollars to fight the motions in council that stripped him of his powers.

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Rob Ford, the opera

Chris from the CBC sez, "CBC Radio's Day 6 enlisted Topher Mokrzewski of the Canadian Opera Company to write and arrange an operatic aria sung from the perspective of Mayor Rob Ford, adapted from Bizet's Carmen. Comes with a video gallery of great Ford photos."

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Rob Ford stripped of powers

Toronto City Council has voted to strip Mayor Rob Ford of his powers, many of which were only recently delegated to the mayor's office. Hizzoner Laughable Bumblefuck has vowed to use tax-dollars to sue council over this move, because that is how he rolls. Cory 34

Rob Ford: $170K/year, 11-3 working day


According to the Ontario government's "sunshine list", Rob Ford earns about $170,000 to serve as mayor of Toronto. According to his staffers, he often shows up for work at 11 and leaves at 3. That's the man who came into office promising to "end the gravy train," folks.

One thing to remember during this whole Toronto mayoral kerfuffle

Rob Ford articulates official mayoral cunnilingus policy

Here's Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford responding to yesterday's release of the partially redacted police file. After stating his intent to take legal action against a host of current and former staffers, wait staff at a restaurant, and many others, he addresses the allegation that he "wanted to eat [Olivia Gondek's] pussy."

The mayor stated, for the record: "I would never do that. I'm happily married. I've got more than enough to eat at home."

Rob Ford will (ahem) go down in history with this quote

Toronto council turns their back to Rob Ford every time he speaks


Toronto Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford has refused to resign or even take a leave of absence, despite having admitted to smoking crack, despite a police report that has him driving drunk, snorting coke with a prostitute in a restaurant, abusing his staff, and using City letterhead to write a reference letter pleading for clemency in the sentencing of a man charged with uttering death threats, selling drugs, and extortion.

Council lacks the power to remove Ford, and until he is charged with a crime, he can remain in office. Now, according to Robin Doolittle from the Toronto Star, the Toronto City Council is now turning their backs every time he stands to speak.

(via Accordion Guy)

Toronto Mayor Rob Ford's less-censored police file: criminality, abuse, and intoxication


Photo: Reuters

Toronto police have released a "less censored" version of their report on Mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford, and Toronto Star reporter (@jpags) has been tweeting the highlights of the (unproven) police allegations as she goes. I've embedded some of the most significant ones below. A lot of material deals with the mayor's public intoxication and his appearances at work-related events (and at City Hall) where he was too intoxicated to function. On one occasion, he is accused of bringing two prostitutes to city hall. He is said to have been high on oxycontin on another occasion.

Another major theme is the mayor's abuse of his employees: getting them to buy booze for him, driving them at high speeds while intoxicated (one staffer saw him drink an entire pint of vodka before getting behind the wheel), verbally abusing them, getting them to run personal errands for him, calling them in tears, drunk and distraught. He made one staffer write a letter of support for bagman Andrew Lisi, charged with uttering death threats, which the mayor submitted.

Then there's the shadowy, underworldy-type things. His bagman, Sandro Lisi (charged with uttering death threats, selling drugs, and extortion) is said to have offered drugs to unknown persons for the return of the mayor's stolen phone. And when the mayor allegedly snorted cocaine with an unknown woman at the Biermarkt restaurant, a staffer demanded that the waitress give her name and told her "Don't tell anyone about what you saw here tonight."

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Rob Ford: master of the comedic pause

Toronto mayor Rob "Laughable Bumblefuck" Ford is back in council for the first time he admitted that he smoked crack (though he insists he's not a "crack smoker"). He's refused to step aside and repudiated his lawyer's suggestion that he was going into rehab. Meanwhile, the trial of Sandro Lisi proceeds apace -- the mayor's friend/fixer/driver/muscle, up on drug dealing and extortion charges -- and the video evidence that the mayor arranged wordless package handovers with Lisi in parking lots and parks and public toilets is on everyone's mind. Rob Ford has always made a big deal about saving the taxpayer money by refusing a driver (it was his excuse when he was caught reading while driving on the highway), but he clearly also didn't have a driver because it would have interfered with crack smoking, drunken stupors, and covert meetings with drug dealers.

But say what you will about the mayor -- and there's a lot to say, for example, his claims of saving money are BS -- he certainly has comedic timing. Check out the pregnant pause in council after he's asked whether he's bought illegal drugs. Comedy genius!

Rob Ford admits to City Council that he purchased drugs

Wordplay Festival of Writerly Games


Jim Munroe sez, "The first WordPlay Festival of Writerly Games is happening at the majestic Toronto Reference Library on Sat. Nov. 16 for International Games at Your Library Day. It has an in-discussion-with interview with the Chicago-based Kentucky Route Zero game makers, a workshop led by Christine Love for making your own interactive fiction, and a panel on book/game intersections featuring Hamlet CYOA author and webcomics impresario Ryan North and Hugo award winner Peter Watts. It even features a world premiere delivered by Oculus Rift!"

Curl up with a good game. (Thanks, Jim)