Gifts for Lovers: our Valentine's Day shopping guide

Boing Boing is proud to present its inaugural February Fuck Day gift guide

Ancient money shot, caught in chert

In a fossil of 400-million-year-old plants, the world's oldest sample of ejaculate. Read the rest

Notably adorable child explains how to bake vegan red velvet cupcakes for Valentines Day

It doesn't matter if you're vegan or like "wed vewvet" cupcakes, Petey Rojas is a very entertaining child.

10 possibly romantic facts about shark reproduction

Warning: Story includes photos of a male shark's genitalia. Read the rest

Vintage vinegar valentines: mass-produced insult cards

"Vinegar valentines" are insult greeting cards popular in the 19th and early 20th century. Over at Collectors Weekly, Lisa Hix shares a fine selection of these snarky missives. "Happy Valentine’s Day, I Hate You" Read the rest

Alexander Graham Bell, in love

Marilyn Terrell of National Geographic Traveler magazine says, "I thought you might like this sweet story about Alexander Graham Bell, who was a 27-yr-old Scottish speech therapist and part-time inventor when he fell madly in love with 17-yr-old Mabel Gardiner Hubbard, who was deaf, and whose father was the first president of the National Geographic Society."

Mabel Gardiner Hubbard was only five years old when scarlet fever rendered her deaf for life. At the age of 17, she would meet a young Scottish speech therapist who was destined to shape her life. Gardiner Greene Hubbard, Mabel’s father and National Geographic’s first president, took a liking to the industrious teacher and part-time inventor. We know him better as Alexander Graham Bell. This is their love story.

The 27-year-old Alexander fell in love with Mabel when she was 17, but it was an unreciprocated fancy. “He was tall and dark with jet-black hair and eyes, but dressed badly and carelessly,” she said. “I could never marry such a man!” Despite her initial disinterest, she began to grow fond of him during his time as her speech teacher and their relationship evolved. After one of her first classes with him, a giddy Mabel wrote to her mother: “Mr. Bell said today my voice is naturally sweet.” In a letter to Mabel on the night of their engagement, Alexander wrote, “I am afraid to fall asleep, lest I should find it all a dream — so I shall lie awake and think of you.”

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How to say "I love you" in 100 languages

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Will you be ours? Valentine's Day for the polyamorous

This Valentine's Day, enjoy a classic essay by Annalee Newitz about celebrating differently-defined love.

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This Valentine's Day, say it with 55 gallons of lube

Amazon Link. I can't tell what's funniest here, the user reviews, or the pricing and seller details:

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