Gold Nokia 3310 with Putin's portrait on it

Nokia's resurrected 3310 is the dumbphone du jour, but it has two key flaws. First, the 2G radio bands it uses are insecure and being shut down by many telcos, meaning it might not work in your region. Second, the base model doesn't have a bas-relief portrait of Russian premier Vladimir Putin on it.

Sadly, this feature is a $3,700 upgrade from Caviar, one of those design houses that supposedly has a classy European pedigree but is, in any case, now devoted entirely to making special editions of phones for drug lords. Many are Putin themed, but Trump is the hot new thing.

WHAT’S BETTER THAN A NOKIA 3310? A GOLD NOKIA 3310 WITH VLADIMIR PUTIN’S FACE ON IT [The Outline] Read the rest

Vertu Signature Dragon cellphone

Two days ago, I described Vertu's $20,000 cellphones as "resembling dragon poo." Today, it announced the Signature Dragon Commemorative Edition. [Luxury News via The Verge]

Update: Want to see a Vertu torn to pieces? Read the rest

Behold! Vertu's $200 USB cable

Did you know that Nokia has a "luxury" subsidiary that makes phones for stupid rich people?

As the European cellular industry's supernumerary nipple, Vertu has long specialized in calculator-display brickphones that look like dragon poo rolled in gemstones. It oozes along the dried slugtrail of progress, having just announced its first touchscreen Symbian handset--sure to be an LG Prada-killer! Read the rest