Boing Boing 

News of the Weird: some of Chuck Shepherd's favorites

News of the Weird's Chuck Shepherd, celebrating 25 years yesterday of his wonderful column's weekly distribution deal, posted a few of his favorite stories from the archives:

NewImage(1989) In the mid 1980s, convicted South Carolina murderer Michael Godwin won his appeal to avoid the electric chair and serve only life imprisonment. In March, while sitting naked on a metal prison toilet, attempting to fix a TV set, the 28-year-old Godwin bit into a wire and was electrocuted. [Orlando Sentinel, 3-8-89]

(1991 and later) Gary Arthur Medrow, 47, was arrested in March in Milwaukee (the latest of his then-30-plus arrests over 23 years) for once again causing mischief by telephoning a woman and trying to persuade her to physically pick up another person and to carry her around a room. In the latest incident, after repeatedly calling, he told her another woman had been impersonating her, had been in an accident, and had been seen carrying someone away (and that Medrow needed evidence that she should could or could not do that). He had previously talked cheerleaders, motel workers, and business executives into lifting and carrying. [Milwaukee Sentinel, 3-18-91]

(1988) And finally, there was ol’ Hal Warden, the Tennessee 16-year-old who was married at 15 and granted a divorce from his wife, 13. Hal had previously been married at age 12 to a 14-year-old (and fathered children with both), but the first wife divorced Hal because, she told the judge, "He was acting like a 10-year-old." [The precise citation is inaccessible, but various marital reports on the Wardens are available, e.g., Associated Press, 2-21-1987]

News of the Weird (6/8/14)

Hubble Cat

hubhigh

Hubble Ultra Deep Field Cat. So many galaxies!

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Hyperpuppyspace

doggiespace680

[Shoop: XJ]

Phoenix Jones conducts fitness-based Seattle superhero purge


Seattle superhero Phoenix Jones (previously) has purged the membership of Rain City Superheroes, dissolving and reforming the superhero group with new, stringent membership requirements, including the ability to do five pull-ups and 25 sit-ups in two minutes.

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Fondue-slippers: just dip your feet in this molten PVC


Satsuki Ohata's Fondue Slipper takes a page from the liquid latex set, but uses higher-temp, harder-wearing PVC to produce extremely custom-fit slippers. Right now, they're a work of art; soon, apparently, they will be an article of commerce that you can purchase in kit form.

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Tauntaun charcuterie poster


Super 7's $50 limited edition Tauntaun meat-cuts poster goes on sale tomorrow -- 16"x20".

Tauntaun Cuts Print (via Super Punch)

Star Wars with Chinese characteristics


Jeff writes, "Chinese historian Maggie Greene has recently written about one of the strangest treasures in her collection: a Chinese comic book version of Star Wars from 1980, which she aptly describes (with scans to prove it!) as 'a fascinating document' that includes images she thinks may reveal 'a fanciful imagining' of life in a then dimly understood America or generalized West. She notes, for example, a 'dinner scene where a duck (?) is being stuck into a toaster oven (!) & the table has not only a little hot plate, but a crockpot (or rice cooker) there, too.' Whoever drew the pictures, she also points out, 'makes some amusing flubs -- Chewbacca appears in some scenes in a relatively credible way, in others looking like an outtake from Planet of the Apes. It also often looks like something out of a Cold War-era propaganda poster, at least where the details are concerned. Were the actors really garbed in Soviet looking space suits? Was Darth Vader really pacing before a map bearing the location of the Kennedy Space Center?' [For those who can't get enough of this topic, there are related tweets by both @mcgreenesd Greene herself and Chinese literary translator and now Chinese studies grad student @bokane Brendan O'Kane"

A Long Time Ago in a China Far, Far Away …

Judge to feuding rich Toronto families: you need a kindergarten teacher


In the matter of Morland-Jones v. Taerk -- two rich Toronto families who've tormented one another for years, Ontario Superior Court judge E.M. Morgan suggested that the parties do not need a judge; they need a rather stern kindergarten teacher. There's poop. There's fake video-cameras. There's more.

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Yet another dismembered foot found on Seattle waterfront

UntitledIf you thought the rash of dismembered feet in sneakers turning up on Pacific Northwest beaches over the years was over, you're mistaken.

Largest-ever damages sought

Anton Purisma has launched a civil rights suit against an airport Au Bon Pain restaurant; he's asking for $2,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000. That would be two undecillion dollars.

Afterlife With Archie: Archie Andrews, zombie hunter!


Back in March, I blogged the Afterlife with Archie comics, and suggested that you wait until the first collection of the series came out before digging into it (the singles were going for silly money). Today, Afterlife with Archie: Escape from Riverdale hits stores, collecting the first series of the comic in one paperback edition. Afterlife With Archie is more than a silly gag -- the creators really do play out a grim, tense, serious zombie story here, albeit leavened with some comeuppances for Riverdale's most annoying recurring characters.

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Cop gives parking ticket to man installing no parking sign

Dan Greding was installing a roadside parking sign warning motorists of a 75-minute parking limit when a Santa Barbara cop gave him a ticket for parking for more than 75 minutes. "I said, 'But I'm putting these signs up,'" Greding told KEYT. "And [the officer] says, 'Then you should know you can't park here more than 75 minutes.' I said, 'Well, I haven't put the sign up yet, so you can't write me a ticket.'" He fought the ticket and lost. He's appealing.

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Calamityware: horrifying blue-china plates


With Calamityware, Don Moyer has turned his much-loved grotesque/horror designs for blue-print china plates into reality. The finished articles aren't cheap, but you can get the next one cheaper by supporting it on Kickstarter.

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Upside-down coffin filled with medieval weapons discovered in wooded area


A Deputy Sheriff from De Leon Springs, FL, responded to a report of an upside-down coffee in a wooded area. He arrived on the scene, overturned the coffin, and discovered that it was full of replica medieval weaponry, which News 13 enumerates in eye-watering detail:

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Disney tarot


D'Morte, the Arch-Druid of Tinver Moor, created this Disney Major Arcana, "based on Golden Age Disney works from Snow White through to the Rescuers." Messr D'Morte notes that he was "influenced by the Marseilles deck, while adding a Jungian interpretation to many of the images."

These are inspired. Click through for The Hanged Man, which all but skewered me on its brilliance (though The Fool, above, is a close second).

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Now Entering Hy-fur-space

Shoop: XJ.


Shoop: XJ.

Click to embiggen.

Turkey to require pet owners to undergo mandatory certification

Via Reddit, photographer unknown.


Via Reddit, photographer unknown.

Under a new law in Turkey:

Anybody who wants to have a pet at home will need to undergo training. They will also have to provide suitable accommodation for the welfare of the animal, as well as meeting its ethological needs and care for its health. With the new arrangement, sales of all kinds of pets and animals except for fish and birds will be banned in pet shops. Also, prison sentences will be introduced for torture and ill-treatment of animals.
Also, zoophilia gets you 2 years in jail. [hurriyetdailynews.com]

Loch Ness Monster photo on Apple Maps?

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Does this image of Loch Ness from Apple's Maps app depicts Nessie or the wake of a small boat? Unfortunately, I think it's the latter as we all know the Loch Ness Monster more closely resembles a pleiosaur than a giant catfish. (Forbes)

Zentai: full-body masked spandex subculture from Japan

Zentai (short for "zenshintaitsu," Japanese for "full body suit") is a largely obscure Japanese subculture whose adherents go out wearing full-body patterned spandex suits that cover their faces. In a relatively unsensational article in the Japan Times, Harumi Ozawa talks to a few zentais about their hobby, and learns that for some proponents, being completely covered is a liberating experience. The zentais in the article describe the suit as an anonymizer that frees them from the judging gaze of society, which is a fascinating study in contradictions, since the suits undoubtably attract lots of judgmental looks, but these seem to adhere to the suit without penetrating to the wearer within.

Some zentais wear their suits in superhero fashion, and do good deeds in public, while others wear the suits for sexual kicks. They are often mocked in Japanese pop culture. One academic cited in the article believes that the wearers use the suits to hide their appearance in order to force others to deal with their "true" underlying identity.

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Kittehfish

Shoop: XJ

Blood Moon Kitten Feast

Shoop: XJ

"Mystery Pooper", "Hash Bash" front page stories in Ann Arbor

And now, the news from Lake Erie.

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Japanese game-show asks celebs to eat household objects that may or may not be chocolates


Celeste writes, "Japanese sokkuri ('look alike') sweets are desserts designed to look like other, everyday things. This Japanese TV show showed contestants a room full of seemingly ordinary objects, and then had them guess which ones were sokkuri sweets by biting into them."

White Rabbit

shoop: XJ

Human Barbie Valeria Lukyanova profiled in GQ

Human barbie doll gq magazine april 2014 women photos 01

GQ's Michael Idov visited Odessa, Ukraine to meet Valeria Lukyanova, the human Barbie doll. Among other topics, we learn that the Barbie connection wasn't Lukyanova's idea, and that she apparently frowns upon what she calls "race-mixing."

"For example, a Russian marries an Armenian," Valeria elaborates helpfully. "They have a kid, a cute girl, but she has her dad's nose. She goes and files it down a little, and it's all good. Ethnicities are mixing now, so there's degeneration, and it didn't used to be like that. Remember how many beautiful women there were in the 1950s and 1960s, without any surgery? And now, thanks to degeneration, we have this. I love the Nordic image myself. I have white skin; I am a Nordic type—perhaps a little Eastern Baltic, but closer to Nordic."

"This Is Not a Barbie Doll. This Is an Actual Human Being."

Some important facts about the Tex-Mex nipple-shields for men


Chantilly's Tex-Mex nipple-shields for men are not chili flavored, nor do they taste of tacos. They are for fashion (marathon runners, take note). There are no other flavors.

And now you know.

Tex Mex Nipple Shield for men, Tokyu Hands, Shibuya, Tokyo, Japan

Winnie the Pooh does Darth Vader

Here's voice-actor Jim "Winnie the Pooh" Cummings doing Darth Vader's lines from Star Wars in the voice of Winnie, and other key characters as Darkwing Duck and his other best-known voices; he appears with Lauren Landa, another voice actor with a distinguished resume of anime and game voices. It's pretty much perfect.

Jim Cummings CtCon 2013 - Star Wars with Winnie the Pooh (via Kelly the Mortal Girl)

The Abels Raise Cain - An excerpt from Kembrew McLeod's PRANKSTERS


[Ed: I'm a huge fan of Kembrew McLeod, a writer, nerdfighter, media theorist and hoopy frood. From epic pranks like Freedom of Expression (R) to genius analysis like Creative License, Kembrew always amazes. Here's an excerpt from his latest: Pranksters: Making Mischief in the Modern World, with an introduction just for us -Cory]

Since I was a kid, I have been fixated on trickery, which played a role in why I grew up to be an occasional prankster (my dad recalls that, as an adolescent, I would surprise him by placing my Sesame Street Ernie doll in grim situations, such leaving him in a noose hanging from a shower head or pinned to the kitchen wall with a knife). Now that I am an adult, I spend most of my time as a teacher and professor being a bit more serious -- enough to take the subject of pranking seriously, which is why I wrote Pranksters: Making Mischief in the Modern World, published by NYU Press on April 1 this year. The word prank is more often used today to describe stunts that make people look foolish and little more. I'm not interested in celebrating cruelty -- especially the sorts of mean-spirited practical jokes, hazing rituals, and reality television deceits that are all too common in today's popular culture. Although "good" pranks sometimes do ridicule their targets, they serve a higher purpose by sowing skepticism and speaking truth to power (or at least cracking jokes that expose fissures in power's facade). A prank a day keeps The Man away, I always say. Nevertheless, I should stress that this book is not solely about pranking. Many of the characters who populate its pages aren't driven by noble impulses, and even those who are more pure of heart can muddy the ethical waters with dubious tactics. With this in mind, Pranksters examines everything from political pranks, silly hoaxes, and con games to the sort of self-deception that fuels outlandish belief systems. The following is an excerpt from Chapter Nine of Pranksters, about the exploits of a married couple named Jeanne and Alan Abel who began as professional pranksters in the late 1950s, and are still at it today.

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Bizarre, paranoid warning about imaginary predators choosing victims through bumper-sticker-ology


Lenore "Free Range Kids" Skenazy points out a new and disturbing artifact from the weird parallel world of bubble-wrapped-kids: a post warning you that the treacly "My family" minivan stickers are an invitation to canny predators who are after YOUR KIDS. No one's saying that this has ever happened, just that they can imagine it, and if they can imagine it, bad guys can imagine it, and if you can imagine a bad guy doing something bad, then you should drop everything to prevent that imaginary thing from coming true.

When in trouble/Or in doubt/Run in circles/Scream and shout.

That Sticker on My Car Is NOT Endangering Me!

Life on the frozen-food-tasting line


Matthew, an odd-jobbing freelance artist, took a job as a frozen-food taster ("trained sensory panelist"), spending long days stuffing fried food in his mouth and rating it on 50-100 attributes, swirling mashed potatoes around his mouth, getting mouth-blisters from all the salt. If you've ever wondered how frozen food manufacturers decide how much cardboard taste is too much, here is your answer:

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