Man, the guy who writes the satirical articles for FutureFeedForward keeps hittin' 'em out of the park. This week: "Wal-Mart Opens First 'All You Can Live' Township," a skiffy distopian vision that combines the creepiest elements of Fordlandia and EPCOT.
WALTON, OH–Officials of the Wal-Mart Corporation announced Thursday the opening of Walton Township, a company designed and managed subdivision on the outskirts of Cleveland, Ohio. Walton, the first of three Wal-Mart communities scheduled to open this year, introduces residents to the company's new 'all you can live' consumer goods subscription service. "Beyond its quality environment and top-notch municipal services, Walton represents our first serious foray into flat-fee provision of consumer products," explains Michael Elmoere, Wal-Mart VP of Intra-Regional Logistics and First Regent of Walton Township. "It's a 21st century horn-of-plenty, all for one no-fuss monthly fee."