Top 11 Signs your ISP has given you up to the RIAA as a dangerous KaZaA user:
11. All the files in your favorite MP3 play list are now "Lars Ulrich sings 'Feelings'"
10. Your KaZaA rating changes to "Defendant"
9. Eminem insults your mother in his next single
8. Recording Industry Association of America president Hillary Rosen sends you e-mail messages with embedded .wav files of heavy breathing
7. All the spam in your inbox is from Motion Picture Association CEO Jack Valenti
6. You get a bill retroactively charging you 99 cents per downloaded track. Total bill: $29,700
5. A Tommy Mottola screen saver suddenly pops up on your computer
4. Vanilla Ice and MC Hammer picket your home with signs that read, "Piracy don't pay my bills"
3. You receive a request from someone using outdated hacker wannabe slang claiming a friend said you could "hook me up" with the latest Snoop Dogg album
2. You suddenly have numerous songs from someone named Avril Lavigne
1. CD-shaped crop circles appear in your backyard