Moment of terror threat level zen: Yellow

A visit to the Department of Homeland Security website reveals that the nation's present threat level is under yellow status, elevated for "Significant Risk of Terror Attacks." Perhaps the imminent, closely-guarded travel trajectory of a certain North-Pole-dwelling magnate with mysterious funding ties is to blame?

Regardless, here are a few other things under yellow status today: an orchid, Big Bird, a spider on a flower, a phone book, rubber duckies, a Rockford Files ad, and grains of heirloom corn.

Bonus: While you're visiting the DHS homepage, check out this crazy photo of border patrol agents reaming frontera dirt on their dune buggies!