Shaolin monks wage internet war against ninja trolls

Overseers of the 1500-year-old Shaolin Monastery in China's Henan province, where Buddhist practice and martial arts have long been one, are demanding a public apology from some internet dude who claimed online that a Japanese ninja once whupped the asses of the kung fu monks of Shaolin in a showdown.

Oh snap, Grasshopper! The affront is said to have taken place in the "Iron Blood Bulletin Board Community."

If the ninja propagandist refuses to apologize, the wushu masters say they may sue him. OR WORSE. And that's what I call real ultimate power.

Snip from Reuters item:

"The so-called defeat is purely fabricated, and we demand the Internet user to apologise to the whole nation for the wrongs he or she did," the Beijing News said, citing a notice announced by a lawyer for the Shaolin monks.

Relations between Chinese and Japanese are sensitive at the best of times, with emotions still running high over Japan's invasion and occupation of parts of China in the first half of the 20th Century.

The Internet user, calling themselves "Five Minutes Every Day", said on an online forum last week that a Japanese ninja came to Shaolin, asked for a fight and many monks failed to beat him, the newspaper said.

"The facts that the monks could not defeat a Japanese ninja showed that they were named as kung fu masters in vain," the Internet user was quoted as saying in the post. The Shaolin temple "strongly condemned the horrible deeds" of the user, the newspaper said.


Update: Boing Boing readers have been analyzing this news in the comments forum, but none nails it quite so well as BB reader J L Borghead:

The Shaolin monks knew there was only one thing that could defeat a ninja in single combat: A Lawyer!

Let's look at the facts:

1. Lawyers are mammals
2. Lawyers are in the court room ALL the time
3. The purpose of the lawyer is to flip out and sue people.

What do they do when they're not suing people?

Most of their free time is spent flying, but sometime they subpoena.

And BB reader Evan says, that's what I call..

Real Ultimate Power of Attorney!

(LOLshaolin pic: BB reader Darrell)