Onion: "Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling"

The Onion's "Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling" represents exactly the kind of jurisprudence we need:

"I'm beginning to wonder if you really understand what 'abridging the freedom of speech' means at all," said Stevens, a 34-year veteran of the court known for his often-nuanced interpretations of the First Amendment. "I'm also wondering whether you and your fat-faced plaintiffs over there need to have some respect for constitutionally protected expression fucked into your empty hick skulls."

Justice Clarence Thomas, who voted with the majority, wrote a concurring opinion in which he made little mention of established court precedents but emphasized that he himself had viewed materials "way, way nastier than this stupid play."

"I don't know what kind of bullshit passes for jurisprudence down in the 4th Circuit these days," Thomas wrote. "But those pricks can take their arguments about speech that 'appeals only to prurient interests' and go suck a dog's asshole."

Supreme Court Upholds Freedom Of Speech In Obscenity-Filled Ruling

(via JWZ)

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