I wasn't surprised when Rush Limbaugh noted the suspicious timing of the explosion at the Deepwater Horizon oil rig, occurring as it did on the eve of Earth Day and the impending Cap and Trade Bill announcement and just after Obama's reluctant OK of new drilling leases. Limbaugh suspects "environmental whackos" (click here) and who can blame him? I mean, it's clearly a small step from spiking trees to blowing up oil rigs. And to radical environmentalists, the destruction of the Gulf is a small price to pay to save the Gulf from destruction. Talk show host Mark Levin (click here), opines that Hugo Chavez-like, Obama dispatched SWAT teams to the Gulf as a "precursor" to the nationalization of the oil industry.
Though I'd heard her tell many official lies when she was G.W. Bush's spokesperson, I confess I was a little taken aback when Dana Perino (click here) joined the conspiratorial chorus ("I'm not trying to introduce a conspiracy theory….but was this deliberate?") -though this is a woman who's also said, for all the world to hear, that America experienced no terrorist attacks during the Bush administration.
Michael Brown, late of FEMA, ascribes the Obama administration's allegedly slow response to the catastrophe to naked political calculation. "We're seeing the Rahm Emanuel rule #1 taking effect, and that is to let no crisis go unused. So this is an opportunity for a President who wants to bankrupt the coal industry, and basically get rid of the oil and gas industry, to shut down offshore drilling."
(Click here for more). Obviously, Brown is a man with a chip on his shoulder; I can't really blame him for going off half-cocked.
I would file all of the above under the category of "opportunistic political demagoguery" rather than Conspiracy Theory as such. But then this week, David Emery, About.com's Urban Legends editor, forwarded me a viral e mail that's the real thing. The headline reads "US Orders Blackout Over North Korean Torpedoing Of Gulf Of Mexico Oil Rig"; the article is dated April 30th, and it appears to have originated at the What Does it Mean? website, written by a woman with the Pynchonesque name of Sorcha Faal. Click here to read it for yourself.
The gist of the story is that the oil rig disaster is the work of a North Korean suicide sub, deployed from a "cargo ship" out of Cuba:
The North Korean "cargo vessel" Dai Hong Dan believed to be staffed by 17th Sniper Corps "suicide" troops left Cuba's Empresa Terminales Mambisas de La Habana (Port of Havana) on April 18th whereupon it "severely deviated" from its intended course for Venezuela's Puerto Cabello bringing it to within 209 kilometers (130 miles) of the Deepwater Horizon oil platform which was located 80 kilometers (50 miles) off the coast of the US State of Louisiana where it launched an SSC Sang-o Class Mini Submarine (Yugo class) estimated to have an operational range of 321 kilometers (200 miles).
On the night of April 20th the North Korean Mini Submarine manned by these "suicidal" 17th Sniper Corps soldiers attacked the Deepwater Horizon with what are believed to be 2 incendiary torpedoes causing a massive explosion and resulting in 11 workers on this giant oil rig being killed outright. Barely 48 hours later, on April 22nd , this North Korean Mini Submarine committed its final atrocity by exploding itself directly beneath the Deepwater Horizon causing this $1 Billion oil rig to sink beneath the seas and marking 2010's celebration of Earth Day with one of the largest environmental catastrophes our World has ever seen.
The source of this sensitive intelligence is Russia's Northern Fleet (which I seem to recall was also much cited for the HAARP theory for the Haiti Earthquake). The real motive for the attack, the article concludes, is to put Obama in an "impossible dilemma"-either he allows the leak to continue indefinitely, wreaking untold economic and ecological havoc, or he authorizes the "nuclear option." A drone mini-sub is standing by, which could easily deploy "a B83 (Mk-83) strategic thermonuclear bomb having a variable yield (Low Kiloton Range to 1,200 Kilotons) which with its 12 foot length and 18 inch diameter, and weighing just over 2,400 pounds" could instantly seal the leak, "the only known and proven means" to do so. But that "would leave the UN's nuclear conference in shambles with every Nation in the World having oil rigs off their coasts demanding an equal right to atomic weapons to protect their environment from catastrophes too, including Iran."
This is too silly to respond to in depth; I'll leave that to Randall Amster at the Huffington Post (click here). But more interestingly, who is Sorcha Faal? The What Does it Mean.com site provides answers here, but they're awfully defensive and hard to follow.
But if you follow a different set of links, you'll learn that Faal is "Sister Maria Theresa, the 73rd Sorcha Faal of the Sorcha Faal Order, Elected as Mother Superior 3 February 2007." She is currently based in Israel.
Born in Dublin, Ireland, the 73rd Sorcha Faal joined the Order in March, 1973 and holds various degrees with both European and United States Universities.
Sorcha Faal has traveled and lectured extensively throughout the World, with her primary focus being the systematic structure of languages serving as a link between thought and sound, and as developed by Ferdinand de Saussure.
Sorcha Faal has further expanded her own research on 'Linguistic Ordering' with knowledge gained while a visiting researcher with Russian biophysicist and molecular biologist Pjotr Garjajev on the esoteric structure of DNA and its uses in explaining physic phenomena.
'In accepting this Conclave's nomination as the 73rd Sorcha Faal of our Order, I express the gratitude of all the Sisters in thanking Sister Lyuha for her guidance as our Sorcha Faal these past 7 years, especially her efforts these past 5 years in re-orienting all of us towards the Western World.
Our Order has always striven to provide to this World that Light needed to dispel the myths inherent in Darkness, but which without we could never see the truest balance between the two.'
There's more: The nuns of Sorcha Faal pre-date Christianity; their order was established in 588 BCE in Tara, County Meath, Ireland. They claim as their Founder the oldest daughter of King Zedekiah, Tamar Tephi (Tamar Tephi, the "Maid of Destiny" is a great heroine in British Israelitism; it is in her person that the line of the House of David comes to Great Britain). The name Sorcha Faal, the website says, comes from "the ancient Gaeilge branch of the Goidelic languages of Ireland" and has the meaning of: Sorcha: She Who Brings Light; Faal: the Dark and Barren Place. "The Order of Sorcha Faal comprises 18 Monasteries in Ireland, Russia, Egypt, Lebanon, and the United States."
That's what it says, anyway. If you're interested and have $25.95 to spend, you can order Sorcha Faal's book The True Knowledge of Three Minds, which "From the most ancient of texts, to the latest discoveries in quantum physics, and everything in-between….contains the truest knowledge of human beings available to the Western World today and provides the foundation upon which to live your life more powerfully than you could have ever imagined before."
Literally dozens of equally probable alarmist stories, often of an apocalyptic bent, have been dispatched under Sorcha Faal's name since 2004; they are archived here. For just a few examples, "All Private Guns Will Be Confiscated By September 2009, US Tells Russia" was issued in March of 2009; "Catastrophic Atmospheric Blast in Southern Hemisphere Continues Global Weather Chaos as North American Plate Instability Increases and US President Orders Massive Troop Withdrawal from New Madrid Fault Zone Region" in September 2005.
There has been frantic speculation in the world of conspiratorial websites over the years as to Sorcha Faal's real identity. Most suspect she is the creation of David Booth, a computer programmer, self-proclaimed psychic, and apocalyptic conspiracy theorist who is the author of Code Red: The Coming Destruction of America 2004. You can read the book here here if you like. But be advised that Jeff Rense's far right, anti-Semitic website exposed it as a cut-and-pasted tissue of plagiarisms (click here).
By the way, an update to the original oil spill article is now available: "US Goes To "COCKED PISTOL" Alert Status Over Korean War Fears." We may be on the brink of World War III! You can read it for yourself here.