Badly drawn cereal box characters


Remember the badly-drawn Boo Berry cereal box character that Mark spotted? The creepy gouge-l'Å"il style of modern adver-toons makes for some uncanny nightmare fuel. That said, something is to be said for everyday ineptitude, as graces the "Valutime" generic cereal boxes found in Giant Eagle supermarkets.

What exactly is the Frosted Flakes creature? It has a huge pelican's beak, leathery bat-wings, and Sonic the Hedgehog's hairdo. Some kind of pterosaur, perhaps. Note the sharp, hooklike claw with which it somehow grips a spoon; the sugar-wired eyes; and the "we need a color that isn't blue" earmuffs.

Pickings in the cereal mascot business were slim for Tony's amphetamine-addicted cousin, but he managed to find work with the "Berry Bunch o' Crunch" campaign. Note the brown rock-man cowering to the left, as a purple asteroid arcs toward him.

The spoon, snapped in half and then brutally hammered into the sides of the Honey Nut Toasted Oat bear's Knuckles, are the highlight of this piece. But I also like how the tongue is not permitted beyond the previously-drawn line of his left jaw.

The eyelashes make me think the Cocoa Crisp Squirrel is female. I wouldn't fancy Sandy Cheeks' chances in a karate battle against these biceps.

In contrast to his bug-eyed hyperglycemic stablemates, Fruit Whirls Zebra's lids droop with mellow disinterest. Perhaps his brightly-colored stripes make him immune to the mountain of psychedelic poison beneath him. Or perhaps it has simply overwhelmed his metabolism already, which could explain the paralyzed smile and the massive tumor that has taken over his snout.