Rich and Tasty: Recipes for the New Class Warfare
A book proposal by Anonymous.
High Concept: It now seems inevitable that the downtrodden will succeed in wresting power, wealth and influence from the elite. But we live in America. A vast swath of the unemployed are not just disenfranchised. They are highly educated. They are discerning. And they are hungry.
When it comes time to eat the rich, these masses will not be satisfied with a Koch and a smile, or with Michael Dell on rye. These are people who went deep into debt stocking their kitchens with Italian espresso makers and complicated food processors. They are not going to want to face the revolution lacking knowledge in the finer points of preparing and presenting the new cannibalistic cuisine. This is the guide the 99% will turn to when the opportunity to feast on the fortunate presents itself.
In tight and search engine-optimized prose, Rich and Tasty will tackle the inherent problems the cook and home entertainer will encounter in serving up a plate of fresh high-frequency trader, or tenderizing a tough doyenne. Just as Julia Childs taught us to ignore the ninnies who worried about butter, so will this tome usher in a new gastronomic ethic: eating the rich is the best revenge.
1. Why Eat The Rich?
A brief, but potent political and social thesis supporting the consumption of capitalists.
2. Local Is Fresh!
Although the ultra-rich make up less than one percent of the populace, they are easy to find. They congregate in specific areas, and their haunts are well-known. Chapter Two will explain the importance of local sourcing when obtaining ingredients, and offer simple, easy-to-apply tips for finding flavorful, affluent main courses in virtually every locale.
3. The Most Important Meal of the Day
Why a banker is part of every wholesome breakfast.
4. Eating the Rich on the Run
Let's face it. We all have hectic lifestyles. It's even more difficult to find a healthy, balanced lunch than a healthy, balanced portfolio. Tips for slipping some important financial figures into your mid-day repast.
5. Elegant, Everyday Dinners
Dazzle your spouse, and the rest of the extended family you've moved in with. Quick tips and ideas for turning boring billionaire left-overs into culinary diamonds.
6. Desserts and Snacks
Sure, you lost the house, your fine credit rating and your health insurance. But you haven't lost your sweet tooth. And deep inside the coldest heart of the most cruel takeover artist there is a kernel of honey-like delight. We'll show you how to dig deep and find it.
You're nervous. A houseful of guests is about to arrive, and all you have to offer them is some less-than-ideal portions of the flank of Bill Gross. No need to panic. Sage advice on preparing and presenting even the most hoary of bond magnates, investment bankers and corporate raiders. Plus, a handy reference to fine wines that pair nicely with virtually any member of the Forbes 400.
Peter Kellog Corn Flakes
Roast Perlman with Confit de Kerkorian
Braised Bezos and Soros tips
Round Eye of Icahn on a George Kaiser Roll
Walton Family Stew
BBQ Sumner Redstone w/Pickled Sam Zell
Ross Perot Tartare
Sergey Brin in Brine
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Anonymous is an award-winning food journalist, formerly employed by a respected national news media outlet. He/She now lives in a tent outside LA City Hall.