Did you know that Nokia has a "luxury" subsidiary that makes phones for stupid rich people?
As the European cellular industry's supernumerary nipple, Vertu has long specialized in calculator-display brickphones that look like dragon poo rolled in gemstones. It oozes along the dried slugtrail of progress, having just announced its first touchscreen Symbian handset--sure to be an LG Prada-killer!
In spite of its claim to be the "pinnacle of mobile phone excellence worldwide," the sad reality of Vertu's obsolete junk shows how alien the gadget business is to sellers of luxury. Technology's R&D-driven elements of quality and credibility are now so fast-changing as to be inaccessible to them. Even the most clueless class aspirant appreciates the power that new technology exerts over traditional tokens of extrinsic self-worth; it's better to just get a gold case for a standard-issue iPhone.
Though the company's future is uncertain--Nokia is reportedly trying to offload it--Vertu still understands the communication needs of oil wives and drug dealers better than anyone. Pictured above is the "Data Cable", featuring "High Speed USB 2.0", on offer for $190. With tax and shipping, that'll head well over $200 for a cable you can buy at monoprice for $2. Talk about charging what the market will bear!
Even a standard lithium-ion battery will set you back $90.
The V Collection Bluetooth Headset at least has the same unique, vaguely-80s design as the handsets themselves; but what could be more illustrative of the "invisible clothing" problem than its $790 price tag? Apart from the $1300 cases with names like "Signature Precious".
Logitech’s MX Keys [Amazon] is what it finally took to lure me away from mechanical keyboards. It’s a slim yet solidly-constructed full-size model that’s similar to and superior to Apple’s Magic Keyboard. It’s flat, minimalist, heavy, solid and low-profile, with large backlit keys typeset in something similar to Futura Light. The keys are square with […]
Microsoft is to shut shop on the high streets and malls of America, permanently closing its 116 retail stores. Only 10 were overseas; flagship stores in New York City, London, Sydney, and Redmond will be remain as showrooms that do not sell the products. There will be no layoffs, Microsoft reports. Alarm bells rang when […]
Traintrackr is a powered circuit board showing a map of the London Underground, lighting up in real time to show train positions on 333 stations on all 12 main lines. It connects to the tube’s API for live location data every second. The board is 400mm x 300mm and sells for £249. (There’s also the […]
Meditation seems simple. Just sit on the floor, clear your mind, and zen out. But have you tried sitting cross-legged on the floor without moving for even 10 minutes? It starts getting mighty uncomfortable after a while. And if you’ve got a few years on you, the knees and thighs are going to be barking […]
Unless you’re doing a lot better than most of us these days, having a personal masseuse on call isn’t really financially doable. And of course, how many masseurs are still doing house calls or accepting visitors during all this time of medical uncertainty? With skilled human hands mostly out of play right now, it falls […]
It’s almost shocking to say…but there’s actually an incredible amount of manhood wrapped up in how well you cook a steak. Of course, no one would argue your grilling abilities are THAT important. Or that how well you sear a prime slab of beef should have any bearing on your social standing or feeling of […]