Noted tax-avoiders Thames Water's press release trumpets the news that they have excavated the largest ever "fatberg" — a technical term denoting a huge, impacted lump of "festering food fat mixed with wet wipes" — from a London sewer.
"Given we've got the biggest sewers and this is the biggest fatberg we've encountered, we reckon it has to be the biggest such berg in British history.
"The sewer was almost completely clogged with over 15 tonnes of fat. If we hadn't discovered it in time, raw sewage could have started spurting out of manholes across the whole of Kingston.
"It was so big it damaged the sewer and repairs will take up to six weeks.