Judge to feuding rich Toronto families: you need a kindergarten teacher

In the matter of Morland-Jones v. Taerk — two rich Toronto families who've tormented one another for years, Ontario Superior Court judge E.M. Morgan suggested that the parties do not need a judge; they need a rather stern kindergarten teacher. There's poop. There's fake video-cameras. There's more.

The defendants had not been "entirely innocent," the court noted. They realize that the plaintiffs don't like to be recorded—though they record everyone else—and so defendants do precisely that, using cell phones and dictaphones and making sure that plaintiffs see them doing it. Oddly, Ms. Taerk denied she had actually taken any pictures, insisting that she had only been pretending to do so (to irritate them, that is). But of course that "explanation reflects more malevolence than what it attempts to exclude."

All in all, the parties' antics constituted "a repeated form of hijinks that could, if a sponsor were found, be broadcast and screened weekly, although probably limited to the cable channels high up in the 300s," Justice Morgan wrote.

"[A] court cannot order the Defendants to be nice to the Plaintiffs," he observed, and so "there is no serious issue to be tried in this action." In dismissing the case, he did not award costs to anyone, as "[e]ach side deserves to bear its own costs."

"The Parties Do Not Need a Judge; They Need a Rather Stern Kindergarten Teacher" [Kevin Underhill/Lowering the Bar]

(Image: Kindergarten, 3, woodleywonderworks, CC-BY)