Starbucks opens "Espresso Shot" version of store on Wall Street

Because Wall Street hustlers are too busy concocting labyrinthian economy-crashing swindles to be bothered with waiting in line for coffee, Starbucks has launched the "'espresso shot' version of the store experience Starbucks is known for."

It's a wood-paneled, 538 square-foot room with a gilded sign above the door, and a greeter who will take your order as soon as you enter.

From Starbucks' news release:

Getting this right meant starting from the beginning where, upon entry, customers are greeted by a Starbucks partner (employee) who will be able to take orders with a handheld device.

Moving through the space, to the right of the entry, customers see a digital menu board displayed on four low-glare monitors. A set of menu options, tailored for New York customers, rotates on the screens. This display also serves as a form of art at night with glowing images of coffee farms shining through the front window.

"For over a century, 14 Wall Street has been home to the most prominent members of the corporate world and leading retailers. We are located in the very heart of the New York Financial District. Our building's rich history and its iconic architecture, combined with the energy of one of the most dynamic streets in the city, make 14 Wall Street a great venue for Starbucks new express store format. It is just a perfect match," said Alex Rovt, the principal owner of 14 Wall Street.