Are you sick of "Minions" yet?


4igmsNrBrian Feldman charts the rise and hopefully imminent fall of "the perfect meme."

They are maybe the platonic ideal of franchise mascot. A better question, for my idiot lizard brain, is what aren't Minions? They have just the slightest identity to be interpreted as "distinct" or "realized," but every facet of their design is also so vague that they are nothing. Minions are blank slates of cosmic dust and computer processing power, just like the rest of us.

The Pantone Color Institute, which decides what is and is not a real color, describes Minions thusly:

Just as the sun's rays enliven us, PANTONE Minion Yellow is a color that heightens awareness and creates clarity, lighting the way to the intelligence, originality and the resourcefulness of an open mind—this is the color of hope, joy and optimism.

Every provable fact about minions reveals thousands of other questions that we do not have the answer to.

Minions are Smurfs sanded down to the complete absence of detail and personality.