Things to add to your building lobby's CCTV warning

Someone in JWZ's building put up a "THIS BUILDING IS MONITORED BY CLOSED-CIRCUIT CAMERAS" sign in the lobby where only the residents and their guests go, so he's been updating it with messages like "FEAR THE UNKNOWN - MONSTERS ARE REAL."

His neighbors -- or possibly the maintenance staff -- keep taking them down, but he's not giving up.

SO TRY TO LOOK REALLY COOL

DON'T SUSPECT YOUR NEIGHBOR: REPORT HIM!

FEAR THE UNKNOWN - MONSTERS ARE REAL

DRONE STRIKES AUTHORIZED 7PM - 5AM

AWARD-WINNING SECURITY THEATRE

YOU'RE PROBABLY GUILTY OF SOMETHING

(Feel free to add your suggestions below.)

Anyway, someone has been peeling these off every day or two, and I keep putting them back. I'm really curious who is doing it, though, and why. I suppose it's possible that it's some other condo owner who is both not offended by the original sign, and doesn't think I'm funny, but, I don't even know how to process that. Can there be such a person?

I think that a much more likely explanation is that it's one of the despicable real estate agents who darken our doorway on an almost-daily basis. I'll bet one of these shitbags looks at that surveillance sign and thinks that this is going to be a selling point to whatever new-Twitter-hire South Bay dudebro he's trying to foist off an overpriced condo on, and dammit he has a hard enough time already convincing this manchild that this hideous, filthy neighborhood isn't dangerous, and he doesn't need my sarcasm costing him the sale.

EXERCISE VAGUE CAUTION