Why is it so easy to believe that the UK super-rich have sex with pigs?

Well, for one thing, it's pretty weird that as soon as the story that UK Prime Minister/hereditary toff David Cameron allegedly stuck his penis in the mouth of a dead pig in a college initiation for a secret society of the ultra-rich, the UK's top establishment figures leapt to his defense, saying that even if he face-fucked a dead pig, it wasn't such a big deal.

The seeming insignificance of necrophiliac bestiality for the great and the good raises the question: What did they do during their college years, that the pig incident isn't a "big deal"?

But more interesting is the widespread anthropological phenomenon of grotesque and depraved initiation rituals for the upper echelons of societies' power structures. In nations and tribes all over the world and in all times, this norm (and rumors of it) has re-emerged.

In a highly stratified society like the UK, where we're still ruled by those chinlessly perverse dweebs who can trace their ancestry to the Norman conquest, necro-bestiality isn't a weird affectation of the aristocratic classes but something intrinsic to the way our country is organized. In places with a greater degree of social mobility, like much of continental Europe, there's less of a scope for this kind of institutional ossification of perversion. But Britain is a profoundly sick society, and where you were born still determines how the rest of your life will pan out. The ruling classes will go to any lengths to keep it that way. These kids know that they might one day end up leading the country, which is why it's essential that they cum in a pig's mouth. It's not just enjoyment, it's class warfare.

There's no way of saying for sure, but it's certainly not beyond the bounds of credibility that they're all doing it. Politicians, bankers, businessmen, journalists, civil servants, everyone: the whole scummy top layer of the UK. It might not have been planned that way, but the constitutional evolution of British politics, the way that it incorporated feudal relics into its democracy right up until the present, made mass aristocratic pig fucking basically inevitable.

Is Britain Ruled by a Secret Pig-Fucking Cabal? [Sam Kriss/Vice]