In University of Pennsylvania psychiatrist Jody Foster's new book The Schmuck in My Office: How to Deal Effectively with Difficult People at Work, she shares sound advice on dealing with narcissistic co-workers. From an excerpt at Quartz:
On a day-to-day basis, appealing to this person’s egocentricity can be very effective. The occasional recognition of the person’s achievement, strengths, or values may go a long way in avoiding anger or demeaning comments; in some instances, you may simply want to remark upon a person’s good efforts. Fanning the embers of narcissism is particularly effective in avoiding unwanted conflict. Particularly if the Narcissus is your boss, you have to let them think that you perceive them as important. No matter how difficult it may be to do this, the Narcissus boss can make the workplace a living hell for anyone who they think is not on board with their success. Give them compliments, and try to do so without mocking them.
Remember that the only commentary that the Narcissus will be able to actually hear will contain some degree of praise in it. So when asking for a favor or for some type of change that could be perceived as an insult, definitely attempt the route of first praising him in some way. Even a simple statement like a reminder about a deadline might need some positive reinforcement embedded in it: “I can’t wait to see your draft of the proposal on Friday.” Remember that the Narcissus has special techniques for avoiding hearing criticism and can interpret even a simple suggestion or reminder as an insult if it doesn’t contain anything positive.
Another strategy is paying attention to the Narcissus. If enough attention is not paid, he will perceive criticism. Even simple moves, like stopping by to say, “Have a good weekend” on the way out the door, can have positive effects on your workplace relationship.
The Schmuck in My Office: How to Deal Effectively with Difficult People at Work (Amazon)
Vanishing Vernacular: Western Landmarks collects Steve Fitch’s important photographic record of iconic imagery in the western United States: hotel neon, drive-in movie theaters, even ancient petroglyphs.
I spy (a brand new junk portrait of) Pee-wee Herman at the :29 mark Exciting news: Jason Mecier, the artist who makes celebrity mosaic portraits in junk (or other objects like candy or cereal) has announced his first book. It’s called Pop Trash: The Amazing Art of Jason Mecier and it’s due out July 17, […]
Candles that smell like a bookstore, old books, or a musty old cellar? Pal, you sure like books! My home is filled with books, and pets. Guess which one lends more to the olfactory nature of my domicile? Frequently, especially after running the carpet deep-cleaner, I’ll want to light a candle… or burn a sage […]
Spring came and went, but we’re not here to judge if you didn’t get around to cleaning up your living space. After all, taking the time to vacuum your floors can stretch out into a lengthy task when you’re constantly switching between power outlets and trying to jam your machine into those tight corners. With […]
Projects big and small always go smoother when the whole team is collaborating, but members tend to get lost once the conference call ends. Timelinr is a project management solution that helps keep your stakeholders, team, and clients in the loop with high-level project roadmaps and granular task boards. Subscriptions are available today for $49.99. […]
The Adobe Creative Cloud is home to a suite of editing tools today’s creatives count on to produce their content. Whether you’re an aspiring photographer, animator, or graphic designer, Adobe’s programs can help you in your creative pursuits, and with the Complete Adobe CC Training Bundle, you can come to grips with six of them for […]