The US Consumer Product Safety Commission maintains a database of ER visits, which Barry Petchesky has mined to produce a list of the most interesting things we stuck in our bodies, sorted by orifice.
Highlights: "ONE MAGNET IN EACH NOSTRIL," "FELL ASLEEP WITH A PENCIL POKED IN HIS RIGHT EAR, PENCIL LEAD IN EAR CANAL," "WAS DOING A MAGIC TRICK AND ACCIDENTALLY SWALLOWED A QUARTER," "PUT PAPERCLIP THROUGH URETHRA AND PUNCTURED THROUGH THE SHAFT OF PENIS," "USING MASSAGING URETHRAL VAGINAL STONE BALLS & THE STRING HOLDING 15 BALLS TOGETHER DISSOLVED, CAN ONLY FIND 14 BALLS," "AT A PARTY HAVING FUN WITH HIS MALE FRIENDS WHEN ONE PUT A SHOT GLASS UP HIS RECTUM."
What Did We Get Stuck In Our Rectums Last Year? [Barry Petchesky/Adequate Man]
(Image: Nevit Dilmen, CC-BY-SA; Michael Vadon, CC-BY-SA)