Human Grey Poupon stain Ethan Couch to be released from prison

Being rich might not buy you happiness, but it can get you out of prison pretty damn fast, even if you kill four people. In the holy-shit-what's-gonna-kill-us-today fast-paced world that we live in, it's easy to forget about a Grey Poupon stain like Ethan Couch. Here's his thing, point by point:

OK, we're up to speed, save one thing: According to Newsweek, he's gonna be getting out of jail this month. Just in time for his 21st birthday, as a matter of fact. He'll legally be allowed to buy and drink booze. I went digging to see what else I could find on the story. The Internet is awash with stories of how his time inside has made him into a changed man and that the friends of the people he killed have forgiven him. It's such a transformation! It's also very likely the best damage control and PR that the family's money could buy. I'm not saying that time served incarcerated won't change you. But I'm yelling from the rooftops that the number of stories about how this troubled young white man – because that's what you are when you do shit like Couch did, but come from the right family – has been redeemed are truly beyond the pale.

Last month, I plopped a post on the site about a fella named Herman Wallace. He was a well-educated black man who was forced to serve a life sentence, in solitary confinement, for a murder that he didn't commit. Couch got 120 days for each person he killed. I just don't know what to tell ya.

Image via Flickr, courtesy of Kirsten Loza