Halimah Marcus and Benjamin Samuel's "Handy Chart Automatically Generates a Pitch for Your New Novel"
The Electric Literature auto-publicist pitch generator does all that work for you—and it's easy to use! If you're Beyoncé, for instance: first of all, welcome, we're glad you read the site. Second of all, you would look up "b" in column A, "e" in column B, "y" in column C, "o" in column D, and so forth, and then plug them into the sentence below. The result: "A keenly observed war epic about an overbearing mistress's quest to grapple with her sexless marriage."
It instructed me to write "a riveting autobiographical novel about a wealthy orphan's dream to confront their traumatic childhood."
