Chuck Wendig isn't just a fine novelist, he's also got a discerning sense of what distinguishes good apples from bad, and what elevates apples to true greatness.
He ate 15 grocery-store apples and produced tasting notes on each (Red Delicious: "Point is, this wasn’t hellish. I still wouldn’t buy one. I’d still throw it at enemies") and while he sleights my favorite ("It’s the jazz hands of apples. Meaning, it’s zippy and fun, and swiftly overdone if you indulge too much.") I was intrigued by his top pick, the Pink Lady, which I haven't tried in some time:
Fuck yeah, Pink Ladies.
(Also known as Cripps Pink.)
This is lately my go-to apple — good balanced apple with an electric tartness that’s tempered by a mouth-slap of sweetness. I will say I had a small batch of these and one of them tasted hellaciously like soap, and I have no idea why. I assume there’s some weird soap bandit going around grocery stores injecting apples with dish detergent or something.
In Which I Rank Grocery Store Apples [Chuck Wendig/Terribleminds]
Japanese historian Nick Kapur unearthed "Osanaetoki Bankokubanashi" (童絵解万国噺), a wonderfully bizarre illustrated Japanese history of the USA from 1861, filled with fanciful depictions of allegedly great moments in US history, like "George Washington defending his wife 'Carol' from a British official named 'Asura' (same characters as the Buddhist deity)."
“I swear the secret ingredient is crack!”
“Maximus the Akita refusing to come inside yet again,” or COCAINE’S A HELLUVA DRUG, you pick.
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