The Church of the Subgenius's Salvation Pack is the best $35 I ever spent

Update: I goofed! The book is sold separately!

A couple of weeks ago, I was thrilled to hear Subgenius founder, the Reverend Ivan Stang, interviewed on the Comedy on Vinyl podcast (previously) and to discover that the Church of the Subgenius was selling a $35 Salvation/Membership/Ordainment kit that was chock full of goodies.

Growing up, Subgenius tropes were a secret recognition symbol for identifying fellow mutants, and I consumed their materials voraciously — I not only memorized the Brag of the Subgenius, I also laboriously transcribed it to a set of my bedsheets using fabric crayons so I could sleep under the holy writ.

The kit arrived last week and it did not disappoint. Naturally, it included a signed, personalized copy of the Book of the Subgenius:

And then there was the folder full of goodies, including a minister's card and a handsome badge:

Owning this material makes you an official, paid-up priest of the Church of the Subgenius, though you need to send away to the Universal Life Church before you can start officiating weddings:

(If you're too impatient to wait for the ULC, you can perform unofficial, short term marriages right away)

Once you're fully clergified, the kit has you covered, with a ministerial guide:

A Doktorate to fill in and frame and display:

And a ton of small ads and other missionary materials to take down to the photocopy shop, cut and start leaving under peoples' windshield wipers, etc (I've packed a supply in my travel bag to slip into the pages of Gideon bibles and Books of Mormon at the Marriott):

The kit also includes some holy relics, like the first and second Subgenius pamphlets (the little brochures that started it all):

Your official church vehicle and laptop will benefit from a selection of religious stickers:

And you can decorate your religious chapel with some swanky Dobbsart:

As well as a fine selection of inspirational broadsides, including The Brag (!):

If you're going door-to-door to spread the good word about "Bob," be sure to take these with you:

Look, we are living in some genuinely awful, fucked up, terrifying times. The fact that the Church of the Subgenius is still around and that Rev Stang is still deriving his living from the sale of this High Weirdness By Mail makes me as happy as anything in this world. Everyone should own a copy of the Book of Subgenius and all the other stuff that comes with it is such a fine and generous lagniappe that it restores my faith in humanity.