The Candy Hierarchy (2019)
Any full-sized candy bar
Reese's Peanut Butter Cups
Kit Kat
Twix
Snickers
Cash, or other forms of legal tender
Peanut M&M's
Regular M&Ms
Nestle Crunch
Tolberone something or other
Milky Way
Lindt Truffle
Rolos
Three Musketeers
Hershey's Dark Chocolate
York Peppermint Patties
100 Grand Bar
Skittles
Starburst
Hershey's Milk Chocolate
Heath Bar
Junior Mints
Caramellos
Nerds
Milk Duds
Hershey's Kisses
Jolly Ranchers (good flavor)
Cadbury Creme Eggs
Swedish Fish
Gummy Bears straight up
Smarties (American)
LemonHeads
Glow sticks
Mint Juleps
Vicodin
Pixy Stix
Licorice (not black)
LaffyTaffy
Lollipops
Mint Kisses
Minibags of chips
Bottle Caps
Smarties (Commonwealth)
Candy Corn
Now'n'Laters
Dots
Kinder Happy Hippo
Goo Goo Clusters
Fuzzy Peaches
Hard Candy
Good N' Plenty
Licorice (yes black)
Reggie Jackson Bar
Chiclets
Trail Mix
Hugs (actual physical hugs)
Bonkers (the candy)
Maynards
Sweetums (a friend to diabetes)
Healthy Fruit
Black Jacks
Pencils
Those odd marshmallow circus peanut things
Jolly Rancher (bad flavor)
Spotted Dick
Generic Brand Acetaminophen
Box'o'Raisins
Whole Wheat anything
Anonymous brown globs that come in black & orange wrappers (Mary Janes)
Creepy Religious comics/Chick Tracts
Kale smoothie
White Bread
Dental paraphenalia
Gum from baseball cards
Candy that is clearly just the stuff given out for free at restaurants
Broken glow stick