What in the world is Joe Biden going on about in this video?

I have a few questions about this video of Joe Biden giving a talk to some kids at a swimming pool.

First, is it fake? I don't think so, but it's possible, given its from Facebook, the only major social media platform that openly welcomes doctored and deepfaked political videos.

Second, what is he talking about regarding his leg hairs? From the video:

"And by the way, you know, I sit on the stand and I get hot, I got a lotta, I got hairy legs that turn blonde in the sun. And the kids used to come up and reach in the pole and rub my leg down so it was straight and then watch the hair come back up again. And they looked at it. So I learned about roaches and I learned about kids jumpin' on my lap."

More importantly than what he is saying, is why is he telling this bizarre story to a bunch of kids who look completely tuned out to his blustering and bloviating?

Next, Biden segues to the time he insulted a local bully nicknamed Corn Pop. Like a scene out of a bad S.E. Hinton juvenile fiction knock-off, Biden says that as a lifeguard at the pool he spotted Corn Pop on the diving board. Biden noticed that Corn Pop had pomade in his hair and was concerned that it would pollute the pool water. Biden says he caught Corn Pop's attention by saying "Hey 'Esther,' (after the famous swimming celebrity Esther Williams), you, off the board or I'll come up and drag you off."

Biden says the offended Corn Pop decided to wait for Biden in the street outside the pool area so he and his gang members could slice Biden to ribbons with straight razors that had been soaked in rainbarrels to make the blades rusty (and therefore more deadly, I guess).

A kindly maintenance man at the pool saw what was about to transpire so he gave Biden a length of chain and told Biden to use it to hit Corn Pop in the head. Biden went out to meet Corn Pop and his "bad boys," but instead of getting into a West Side Story style melee, Biden apologized to Corn Pop for calling him Esther. That was all Corn Pop needed. He folded his straight razor, turned around and left with his gang.

Final question: Is Biden a lying dog-faced pony soldier?

Image: OpenClipart-Vectors (pixabay.com)